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I’m sure I’m shaking my head because I’m dumbfounded. “How can I answer that?”
“Would you have married her?”
“Huh?”
She drags both hands along her scalp in frustration. “She paid me a visit this morning, Simon.”
“Samantha came here?”
“I’m just going to ask you a question, and please, please, please…Just be straight with me. I’ll never keep you from Ethan, I’ll never—”
“What the hell is going on right now?”
“Did you pick out a ring, Simon? Were you planning on asking her to marry you?”
“No!” I’m pacing the living room now, so much anger coursing through me I’m afraid I’m going to blow. “Whatever she told you, it’s a lie!”
I’m embarrassed when I see Lawrence standing in the hallway, hearing all of this.
“Everything all right in here?”
I turn to him. “Yeah. I’m sorry I raised my voice, Lawrence.” But he’s not checking in with me, he’s looking squarely at Charlotte. She looks up, her face puffy and red, and nods to Lawrence. He fixes me with a stern look before turning to go back upstairs.
“After everything she’s already done, why would you believe her?”
“It was more than that.” I can barely hear Charlotte because she’s dropped her head back into her hands. I move closer, kneel right in front of her. “She painted a picture for me of what your life is like. To be with us you’re giving up a scholarship, giving up a cushy job.” When I go to cut her off, she raises her hand to stop me. “Don’t say it’s not important because it is. And this isn’t just about school. God, Simon…For me there’s never been anyone else. No one. You don’t have to imagine me with another man. You don’t have to wonder if I’m missing him, wishing I was still living the life I had with him. I’m trying not to be jealous or insecure, but I really need to be sure you’re not going to change your mind or regret this.”
“Regret being with my son? Regret being with you?” I sit there, feel my hands drop to my sides. How can she think I’d regret any of this? It’s a minute before I stand and walk over to the side table where I left the framed childhood picture of me with my two brothers. “I’ve probably lived in a dozen different places since I left Pennsylvania, between dorms, crashing with people during breaks and my crappy summer sublets. This picture has made every move with me.” I sit back down at her feet as I remove the backing on the frame and take out the smaller picture that sits behind it. “This picture has come with me too. I’ve taken it out and stared at it so many times I’ve lost count. I never got over you, Charlotte. I never will.”
She wipes at her eyes and takes the picture from me. She’s still studying the image of us as teenagers when she says, “That girl told me she loves you. Told me you had a ring picked out and everything.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Her dad made a joke once that Sam had her heart set on wearing her grandmother’s ring. Like, ‘Just say the word, Simon, and I’ll get it out of the safe.’ If she’s referring to that, the idea is so far fetched it’s delusional.”
“After she left, I was right back to doubting whether or not you truly want to be with me or if you’re just doing this out of a sense of duty.” She cuts me off again when I go to refute her. “I just want you to know that I don’t need you.” She wipes her eyes and fixes me with a look that’s sure and calm. “I want you, Simon, and I love you, but I can stand on my own two feet.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Charlotte
“Are we good?”
When I nod, he pulls me in close and kisses the top of my head.
Last night Simon stayed in the guestroom. We were both spent after going nine rounds thanks to Samantha’s meddling, and even though we settled everything, it still feels a little raw between us.
“I never want to do that again,” I tell him.
Simon gives me a lopsided smile that melts my heart. “Me either, but what specifically are you referring to?”
“I never want to fight with you and then go our separate ways.”
“Even though I was just downstairs, I know what you mean. I was itching to knock on your door last night, just to make sure we were ok.”
“Same here. I needed you next to me last night.”
“About that…We’ve never discussed—”
“Mommy, can you make pancakes?” Ethan’s rubbing his eyes as he makes his way down the stairs. When he sees Simon standing in the kitchen he practically launches himself into the air as Simon swoops him up into his arms. “Daddy’s here!”
