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“I’m here,” Simon says, nuzzling his face into Ethan’s side, tickling him in the process.
I turn to him smiling. “To be continued?”
With Ethan still in his arms, he moves in closer, making a sandwich out of the three of us as he presses into me. “Yes, to be continued.” He alternates between blowing raspberries on Ethan’s neck and then mine before whispering, “Put chocolate chipsandblueberries in my pancakes, woman.”
“My pancakes too, woman,” Ethan calls out as they head out onto the back deck.
Simon has been pushing it these past few weekends, dropping kisses on me in front of Ethan, pulling me in close when the three of us sit on the couch together to read a book or watch a movie. It doesn’t worry me anymore. In fact, I’ve come to crave the intimacy, the devotion he demonstrates towards both me and Ethan.
Last night was the exception, but not a night goes by where he doesn’t creep upstairs and sneak into bed with me. I’m on birth control now, and this time I chose a more foolproof method so we’re free to do what we want, but sometimes he just tucks himself in behind me and holds me close. I like that too. He’s been back in my life for less than three months, I should be cautious, but I can’t help but believe this is real—that Simon loves us and wants us to be to be together.
“What have you got planned this week?” he asks as I’m putting away the breakfast dishes.
“My final papers are due for both classes by Thursday. I’m almost done, just some edits left to do. Why?”
“My internship ends next week. I’m going to start packing up. I was thinking…”
“It doesn’t make sense to bring your stuff up here. Maybe I’ll head down there next week and help you. I’m sure Lawrence can watch Ethan overnight. We can pack you up and move your stuff to Ann Arbor.”
“Are you all right with—”
“With you moving in?”
“Yeah. Is that taking things too fast for you?”
“I think it’s the right thing to do.” I busy myself drying the serving platter, avoiding his eyes when I add, “I want us to be together.”
He wraps his arms around my waist and whispers, “You make me so happy, do you know that? I’m going to spend my life making you happy too.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Simon
She looks especially beautiful today. Dressed in a simple while dress, holding a bouquet of wildflowers in one hand and Ethan’s little hand in the other, I’m feeling overwhelmed in such a good way.
I’ve wanted to do this since not long after the day I moved in with them, but Charlotte has her own mind, and I’ve learned she doesn’t like to be rushed. We started talking about marriage—conversations initiated by me—right from the beginning. I needed to establish my paternity legally, and I didn’t see why we should wait to be married. I loved her, always had, and I knew my feelings would never change. But my girl needed some time, nearly two years as it turns out. She needed to be in it with me, living life day to day, getting through not just the easy times, but the tantrums, stomach bugs, and the disagreements that occasionally popped up between us.
We’re assembled at the courthouse this morning. Judge Michaels pulled some strings and got us a private room for the civil ceremony with his good friend, the Honorable Vincent D’Angelo presiding. Judge Michaels, a Michigan Law alum, is the one I now turn to for advice and guidance, and he’s been generous with his time. It’s his name and reference that secured the summer associate position I took after my second year, which led to the job offer I recently accepted. I’m not going to lie, it’s not as prestigious as the position I would have been accepting at one of the big firms based in Chicago, but along with those big salaries come six-day, ninety-hour work weeks and lots of travel. I don’t want that life. I want to come home to my family every night. I want to be around on the weekends. So instead, I’ve opted for a well-respected firm in Michigan, one that specializes in patent and intellectual property rights law. The fact that they’re also committed to taking on a set number of high-profile pro bono cases is what sold me. The reason I went into law in the first place, my brother Timmy, will never be forgotten.
It’s a banner week. I’m getting married to the love of my life this morning, tomorrow I will officially graduate from law school, and on Friday Charlotte will get to walk across a stage for the first time and have an esteemed member of the faculty hand over the diploma that represents four years of her blood, sweat and tears. I know she’s as excited as I am. It’s a heady feeling when you realize you’re about to reach a goal you set for yourself so long ago. I go back there for a moment, to all the late nights, the struggles, the worry and heartache I experienced along the way, but then switch gears. I want to focus on that peaceful feeling, the one that comes after a hard-fought victory.
Charlotte brings me peace. She’s always had the power to ease what raged inside of me, to comfort me. To be her family—to be her man—is an honor.
I lock eyes on Ethan, catch a moment when he’s looking up at Charlotte, smiling at something his mother has said. Watching the two of them together like this can sometimes feel so good it hurts.
I wonder how he’ll take the news. At five years old, he’s thriving. Charlotte was nervous as hell sending him off to kindergarten last fall, but he’s taken to it like a fish to water. His teacher gushes over how smart he is at every parent-teacher conference, and makes a point saying how helpful and kind he is too. I feel like a proud papa bear when I walk out of those meetings, and feel the same as I watch him playing with his classmates after school. He’s made plenty of friends—hell, every kid in his class was at his birthday party last month. My son is pretty much always smiling, running around with Moe or pounding away on the piano we bought second hand, you know, just in case professional soccer is taken off the table by his doctor someday down the road—Charlotte’s still a bit of a worry wart. He’s so easygoing and upbeat, I can’t imagine he’ll be anything but pumped when we decide to sit him down and tell him he’s going to be a big brother.
Charlotte and I decided to start trying a few months ago, and just like last time, it happened right away. Unlike last time, though, I’m going to be by her side every step of the way.
Ours is considered a high-risk pregnancy, so we’ve already been to see the specialists who cared for Ethan and continue to do so. I’m not afraid the way Charlotte is. Maybe I’m being naïve, but I just have this feeling everything is going to work out fine.
I’m already looking forward to holding this child, being one of the first voices he or she hears upon entering the world, and then sitting next to Ethan, supporting him when he gets to hold his baby brother or sister. And I’ll be there when Charlotte nurses our child for the first time. I finally fessed up a few months ago one night when we were looking through Ethan’s baby album together. That first time I saw the picture of her feeding Ethan, I thought it was hot, maybe the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. She laughed, told me I sounded like a total perv, but deep down I knew she understood. It was more than that. She was amazing in my eyes. Ethan was bare except for a diaper, she was holding him skin on skin, and there was nothing he needed that she couldn’t provide—her body kept him warm, her body protected him, her body nourished him. It’s a sight so powerful, so womanly, that it never fails to take my breath away.
He’s dressed like a miniature version of me today, down to the suit and tie. I’ve caught him looking the mirror checking himself out a few times. He’s freaking adorable, and I’m not just saying that because he’s mine.
I will pledge my love and fidelity to Charlotte this morning, but those are the standard lines they feed you, just some ceremonial ritual. I’m reciting my real vows right now, in silence. I am making a vow to love them, to protect them, and to do everything in my power, for every day I have on this earth, to deserve them.
* * *
