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A minute passes before he asks, “Hot date?”
“According to Maureen.”
He nods his head, takes another sip. I can feel my face turning red from shame now rather than anger. I sound like a petulant baby, a shrew, and still I can’t help myself.
“So where is she?”
“Had the driver drop her off first.”
“Did you kiss her?”
“Might have pecked her on the cheek. Don’t remember.”
My tone is bitter, mocking. “Pecked her on the cheek?”
“Yeah.” He looks annoyed now. “What should I have done?”
I shrug like I couldn’t care less. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. Knowing you, I figured you would have gone for it, given her a good night fuck.”
His features harden as he stands and takes one step closer. “That’s what you’d figure? Knowing me, huh? And what exactly do you know about me, sweetheart?”
I back up a step on instinct, but then cross my arms, ready to square off with him. I’m too angry and hurt to be intimidated. “Now I’m sweetheart? I’m not kiddo anymore? Sweetheart, is that what you called your lawyer tonight?”
“She’s not my lawyer.”
He takes another step closer and now I’ve got nowhere to go. My back is up against the kitchen counter and he’s essentially got me caged in. I raise my chin in defiance but when I speak all that false bravado I had a moment ago is stripped away. “What is she to you?”
I hate the sound of my own voice. I sound hurt. I sound like a child.
“She’s nothing to me.”
I look down at the space between us, watch as his right hand moves slowly and lands on my hip. His thumb moves up and down, brushing just close enough to make me shudder. I want to look at him, to get a better handle on what’s happening here, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. If he’s on the verge of losing control I’m not going to stop him.
I want some of whatever is in that crystal tumbler. I want to loosen up and be that girl I was in the club again. I want to turn my body around so that his front is pressed up to my back. I want to reach up and lace my arms around his neck and lean back into him, just like I did that night. I want him to remember. I want him to touch me the way he did that night, and this time I won’t run away.
He leans down and angles his face like he’s going to kiss me, but his mouth goes to my neck instead. His lips brush over the sensitive skin beneath my ear and then he breathes in deep. Every nerve ending in my body is on high alert, primed and ready for what comes next.
I take his hand and slowly guide it up from my hip, up the curve of my waist and to my breast. I lead him, cup it with him hand over hand, and when we make contact he lets out a quiet moan of desperation. He still doesn’t kiss my lips but lays open mouth kisses down my neck, one by one to my collarbone. I’m practically shaking. I want his mouth on my tits and his hand between my legs so badly that I’m on the verge of begging.
Sliding my hand between us, I reach down to stroke him. Hard and eager, he moves his hips to urge me on. Up and down. Once then twice then—
“No.” He backs up shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
My voice sounds small when I ask, “Why?”
“I just…I didn’t mean to—”
“Touch me?” It’s taking everything I have in me to keep from crying.
He backs up another step and turns away. “I’m so fucking sorry, Skylar. That was so wrong.”
“Why is being with me so wrong? What’s wrong withme?”
His eyes are soft when he turns back to face me. Two, maybe three feet separate us now, but we might as well be standing on two opposite shores with an ocean between us. He reaches across, puts a hand on my cheek, but I can’t. I can’t stand here and let him stutter through the speech he’s about to make.
He’s about to let me down easy, to tell me how wonderful I am and remind me of the bright future that’s just waiting for me beyond the fucking horizon. That I’ll have my pick of men to choose from someday. For good measure he might even throw in some nonsense about not being good enough for me.
He goes to open his mouth but I won’t listen to this bullshit. “Don’t.” I brush his hand off my cheek. “Don’t say a word, and wipe that look off your face right now. I don’t need your pity.”
