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I debated over whether or not I even wanted to engage this girl, but then just went ahead and spewed my ugly truth. “I hated you for a long time. I mean, I felt terrible when I heard about Eli, but I still hated you for having some kind of hold over Damien.”
“There was nothing there, and not for lack of trying on my part. Believe me, Itriedto steal him away from you.” We shared a sad laugh, the both of us looking down at the stone. “And I hatedyoubecause Damien loved you...Only you. I wanted to know what the hell you had that I didn’t. I mean, I was—”
“You were prettier.”
“Lot of good that did me.” She glanced my way but still didn’t make eye contact. “And you were gorgeous, Grace...You still are, you bitch. He looked at you like you were a juicy steak and a hot fudge sundae all rolled into one. It’s like you had some voodoo spell cast over him.”
“That day on campus when I stopped you…Do you remember that? When you told me Damien was writing to you?” I looked over to see her biting her lip and nodding. “I thought he’d used me, played me for a fool or something.”
“I was lying.”
“I know that now.”
“I wanted to hurt you.”
“You did, but I’m not angry about it anymore. I haven’t been for a long time.”
“What did you do? I missed two semesters after Eli died, but when I came back to campus you were a senior. I was commuting from home so I was totally out of the scene, but I saw you once or twice. You were never pushing a baby carriage.”
“I gave her up for adoption right after I gave birth.”
“I figured that.” Gianna cleared her throat before telling me, “He would have come back for you, you know. And he would have made a great father.” Wiping at her eyes, she gave my hand one gentle squeeze and then turned to leave. “Take care of yourself, Grace.”
I knelt down again and ran one finger over the grooves and corners of his name, letter by letter.
“I know, Damien. I know you would have come back to me.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Grace
“I can’t make it this Friday.”
“Come on, he won’t even be there.” Skylar’s got one hand over her heart. “I swear.”
The girl has ambushed me, tagging along when Sienna drove over to pick up Garth.
We’re in the home stretch now, and he’s been giving me every day off and coming over most evenings after his shift at the hardware store, too. I pay him well, but I still feel like he’s gone above and beyond for me. He hires all the day workers, and he’s hooked me up with a great carpenter, an electrician and a plumber.
Right now we’re picking out the kitchen faucet from a plumbing catalogue, and I need to make a choice on the cabinet hardware before Garth leaves, too. The clock is ticking, and Skylar is being a pain in my ass right now.
I’ve kept my distance.
We’ve texted a few times, me and Owen, but I’ve purposefully kept it surface level and light. He knows where I stand and he’s respected my need for time and space.
I’m missing out on something that has the potential to be great, but I also know deep down that I am the only one who can straighten my life out, and if I don’t take the time to do it then I won’t be good for anyone.
I don’t want to be this half-assed version of myself anymore.
And Owen has some unfinished business, too.
Walking into his parents’ house that day was a nightmare. I felt like an unwanted guest. Nope, scratch that—Iwasan unwanted guest. And while he never really told me the background story on his relationship with Ava, it was clear that they had a past that was deep rooted in family.
When she screamed,I’m pregnant,for the world to hear? That wasn’t even the final straw. Her declaration reeked of desperation, and I figured, just like Owen, that it was nonsense. No, it’s what he said to Ava right after. I was frozen in place and you could have hard a pin drop at that point. So when he told her that he was sorry and that he shouldn’t have yelled at her, I could hear the regret and the tenderness in his voice. He cared about her.
I was someone’s second-best a long time ago, and I’ll never go down that road again. And even though Owen did everything short of swearing on the bible when he told me over and over again that I was wrong and that he didn’t have any romantic feelings for her, I didn’t want to hear it.
I do have feelings for Owen, strong feelings, but I love myself more.
