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Guilt that he clearly wasn’t doing a good enough job of fulfilling both the father and mother roles in their family. Guilt that he hadn’t seen how important it was to her sooner. Guilt that his current lifestyle didn’t lend itself to the time, space, or energy it took to look for, and then build a meaningful relationship with, someone who might one day fill a mother role for Ruby.
It wasn’t like the perfect woman could just drop into his life, ready to fill all the gaps.
Hope came into his mind then. He couldn’t deny that she’d been filling some gaps pretty damn seamlessly these days, but his sister was right. Hope was still young, and he didn’t know many twenty-six-year-olds who were ready to take on a family.
Except, there was that feeling he got in his gut when they were all together that felt… right.
Gabe gave himself a mental shake. What was he thinking? Hope was his daughter’s babysitter. They weren’t dating. Christ, they weren’t even fucking. He had no business thinking about her in that way. She’d probably run for the hills if she knew he’d been thinking like this.
“I just don’t want you to confuse your feelings,” his sister said, returning to her lecture, “and get into something that can’t end well—for anyone.”
By the look of sympathy in his sister’s eyes, he knew she was trying to help, and Gabe couldn’t exactly blame her. Lori had taken care of him and Ruby for so long that she didn’t know how to do any different. And it wasn’t all her fault. The irony was that he had spent years resisting his sister’s meddling, but when Carrie had died, he’d let Lori swoop in and take over everything. He’d depended on her militant organization and dictatorial demands during that first year, and, he was embarrassed to admit, for way too long afterward.
He’d needed Lori then. He still needed her. He knew he was damn lucky to have her as a sister. But what he found himself needing more these days was a life of his own. Maybe it was time to actively look for someone to share his and Ruby’s life with.
Again, Hope filled his thoughts. He might not have any business imagining what it’d be like with Hope in his life permanently, but that didn’t stop his mind and heart from going there.
“Why don’t you bring her to Sunday dinner?” his sister asked, deceptively casual.
Sunday dinner was a once-a-month event that Lori had been hosting at her place pretty much since Carrie died. Their dad came, he and Ruby came, and the whole family was together. There was only one rule. No guests. Ever.
Only family, a once-a-month evening where everyone could reconnect and bond—or so Lori kept telling them, because her other rule was also no cancelations. Unless you were dying, you had to be there.
So, the fact that she had just asked Gabe to bring Hope in her “no big deal” voice, was a very big deal.
“No,” he replied bluntly. Automatically. This had ulterior motives stamped all over it, and he wasn’t going to play whatever game his sister was starting.
Lori planted her fists on her hips and scowled at him. “Why not?” she demanded. “Are you embarrassed by us?”
“Yes,” he said, knowing full well that an evening putting Hope under the microscope of his family would be 100 percent embarrassing—for her as well as him.
“Gabriel Walsh, as I live and breathe.” His sister was huffing in her haughtiest voice.
She was going to try to guilt him any second now, and he wasn’t going to have it. He knew her game, and he was going to call her on it, right here, right now.
Crossing his arms, he set his shoulders back and stood at his full height. Planting his feet, he slitted his eyes in his best scowl.
Lori snorted.
“Look. Hope has been good to Ruby. Good to me,” he added, knowing she was changing his world as much as Ruby’s, every single day. “I’m not going to drag her to a family dinner where you and Dad will scrutinize her like she’s some prize hog at a county fair.”
His sister folded her arms, matching his position, and cocked her head. “First of all, I am going to do you a huge favor and not tell Hope that you just compared her to a hog. And second,” she added when he let out a growl of frustration, “youwillbring her, and shewillenjoy herself.” She put her hand on his shoulder again. “Because if she’s good for you and Ruby, then maybe she’ll be good for the rest of us, too. And we deserve to meet each other properly.”
Gabe’s shoulders sagged under the emotional weight of his sister’s hand, the fight draining out of him at her heartfelt words. Maybe she was right. Hell, she was always right, not that he was going to tell her.
It had happened quickly, but Hope had come to mean more to him than he had ever anticipated, and he wanted more of her. But if he was going to pull her into his life, she was going to have to meet his family, and his family was going to have to meet her.
Just like that, having her come to the dinner became a priority. It was the next step in convincing her that she fit into his life. Now all he had to do was convince Hope that there was a space for her in it, and somehow, he knew that would be the hard part.
CHAPTERFOURTEEN
At 2:30 a.m., Gabe quietly unlocked the door to his apartment. He was exhausted, hungry, and he needed a shower, but commandeering all of that was the now familiar tingle of excitement he felt knowing he was about to see Hope.
Usually, she’d hear him unlock the door and be on her feet to greet him. Often she’d heat him a plate from dinner and they would sit on the couch and talk while he ate. Those few moments with her every evening were always his favorite, even though it never led to more. Hope hadn’t mentioned their lustful encounter since it happened, probably preferring to pretend it never had. A thought that bothered him more than he wanted to admit, since the bathroom incident had been running on a loop in his brain.
Tonight, though, the apartment was silent. She was in here. He could tell by the way his body was reacting that she was close, but she wasn’t up and moving around like she usually was.
Setting his keys on the side table in the entryway, he moved into the living room, which was lit only by the soft glow of a lamp next to the couch.
