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Nathan leans in and whispers his own farewell into Dad's ear, stroking the hair from his head, his tear falling on Dad's cheek as he says goodbye to the person he idolized his entire life.
Dad’s heart takes its last beat only minutes later.
And then everything is still.
And we sit in the knowledge that our lives will never be the same again.
thirty-five
Kylian
Nathan and Kiara go into their father's room and come out an hour later, both looking like they will never recover from this moment. And I wish I could take them both in my arms and hug them, and tell them that what they're feeling is real. And don't let anyone give them empty platitudes, and that that ache might never ever go away. You just learn to live with it. And that's okay. Life is peppered with moment like these amongst other that make life worth living.
Nathan glances at me and then storms down the hallway to the nurse's station, while Kiara comes and stands next to me.
She runs her thumb over my face, wiping the tear dripping down my chin.
Dennis Yin had been there for all my most important moments in my teen years. Endless memories of my life have him standing in the photos, smiling proudly.
I will miss him every time I see a bottle of wine, or hear someone mercilessly roast their children, or negotiate a business deal that would take any one's breath away
"He's gone," she says. Simple. Matter of fact.
"I'm so sorry, Kiki. I don't know what to say."
"I think that not saying anything is what is going to help me most, right now."
"You got it."
She lays her head against my chest and I pull her against me a little too tightly, somehow hoping her pain can transfer onto me,
"We need to talk." Nathan suddenly appears next to us, scowling.
Kiara looks at him, stricken. “No! I can't right now."
"What did you mean at the house when you said that he wasn't your father? And what was that whole speech about how he was the best father you could've had?"
"I said, not now.”
“She said not now, Nathan. Can you give her a little time?”
He looks at me like he wants to step on me and squish him with his shoe. "Can you go away? I'm trying to talk to my sister and your constant presence is really intrusive."
Kiara grabs my hand and roots me in space.
"He doesn’t have to go. You're the one ambushing me. So, if you want to talk, then talk."
"Do you know something I don't?"
"You mean like how you kept the secret about Dad being sick?" her voice, unlike her words, are soft… sad.
"This is not the same thing. I'm your brother; if you know something, tell me."
“Don't worry, Nathan, we're only half-siblings."
He staggers back. What?"
"Dad is not my biological father. Mom had an affair. I’m that guy’s kid.”
