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Chapter 42
Matthias
"Fuck,you'reinbadshape," Leanne says, grabbing my hand and pulling me into her apartment. Behind me Clarissa is panting from the run here. She'd parked the car a block down the road hoping no one would notice it there.
"Nice to see you too, did you redecorate?" I say to her.
"Just shut up and go inside," Clarissa loud whispers and pushes me inside.
Leanne slams the door shut and looks me over. "What the fuck happened?"
Clarissa sinks into a couch, her head falling into her hands. "Patrick."
At the sound of his name, the red cloud descends again. And I have to restrain myself from going back to finish the job. He was still breathing when Clarissa pulled me away.
That wasn't the desired outcome.
Leanne comes over and throws a towel over my head. "Go take a shower. You smell like a slaughter house."
"It's always good to see you, Leanne." But then I turn back. "Thanks."
She shakes her head and joins Clarissa on the couch.
The shower is hot and long; I wait until the water runs clear and cold before I even contemplate leaving, replaying the last hour over and over in my head.
I would've killed him. I would've bashed him brains in and peeled every inch of skin off him, just as a warning to anyone who thinks they can even think of hurting Clarissa.
What happens now, I don't know.
I just know that she's safe for now. What comes tomorrow, we'll deal with tomorrow.
The two women are standing in Leanne's kitchen when I come out, a tea cup in each hand. It must be Clarissa's influence. Leanne only drinks drinks that come in a wine glass.
When they see me, they finish their conversation in whispers. Leanne walks out and taps me on the shoulder.
"Glad to see you're the one left standing," she says, giving me a hug and then leaves.
Exhaustion rams into me like a Mack truck and I stumble out to the couch, sinking into it.
"We need to talk about what we're going to do now," Clarissa says from the kitchen.
But I don’t want to talk. The severity of what I've done is dawning, and even though, in the moment, I wouldn’t have done anything differently to keep Clarissa safe, I'm not violent by nature. The image of his limp body under me on the ground is already starting to haunt me. And Leanne was right, I had so much of his blood on my body, I can still smell the metallic scent.
"Matthias, we can't just ignore it... someone is going to come looking..."
"Clarissa. I'm really tired. And I... I have to think about things before I decide what I'm going to do, okay? This... is not a small thing. But... if you knew how I felt when I saw him pinning you against the wall, hand raised... I had no choice."
The memory makes my mouth dry, and then fill with saliva. I run for the bathroom, and empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
I don't know what's going to happen, but I can't undo it.
I need sleep.
I need to feel Clarissa sleeping next to me reminding me why I did what I did.
But when I fall asleep, it's only me in the bed.
Chapter 43
