AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Utterly, achingly, alone.
I stumble over to my desk, grabbing a bottle off the shelf, foregoing a glass altogether.
The first drink burns.
Deliciously, distractingly, painfully.
By the third sip, I'm numb.
But I keep drinking until the bottle is empty.
The silence in the office is deafening.
But it's still not loud enough to drown out the memory of her words.
"I slept with him."
I replay it over and over and over, until my stomach flips and I grab the wastebasket by my desk.
And try to purge, purge the hurt, purge the memories, purge the feel of her skin under my fingertips, purge her scent first thing in the morning, purge those thoughts that whatever forever I had imagined, was nothing but lies.
Chapter 47
Clarissa
"Theytoldmenotto trust you and I should've listened."
Nothing I do helps.
Nothing I do brings me even a sliver of respite. Nothing helps the sound of his voice in my head. Nothing stops the memories of his face when he heard I had slept with Gerry. Nothing eases the ache of the way he said,"I don't believe you. I don't trust you."
Maybe he never did.
Maybe this was all doomed from the start and we had no right letting ourselves fall into a bottomless, hopeless pit of lust.
It was more than lust, Clarissa.
Was it? Maybe that's all it was. Maybe everything else was just blinded by the white heat that ignited when we were in the same room.
Whatever it was, they were the most beautiful moments of my life. Maybe it wasn't supposed to have been forever, but for that short time, I had felt seen, felt understood, felt adored. Even lo—
"No." I say it out loud to make sure I hear it.
It was neverthat.
If it had been that, he would've listened. He would've stopped for one minute and listened. But he didn't. He didn't even give me a chance to explain. He didn't trust me enough to even hear me out.
Understanding knifes into my heart.
Because he never trusted you. Never, ever did.
And I gave him everything.
But did I trusthim?
I could've gone to him about Gerry, told him everything up front about what was happening, but I was afraid.
I didn't trust him to take my side, to believe me even then.
