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“I love you too.”
“Did we figure out how to get out of obsession and into love?” he asks me. I can hear the worry in his voice. I know that Whitley loves me and that I love him, but we can’t dismiss the fact that both of us were worried that we wouldn’t know the difference between love and obsession.
“I think,” I give him a quick kiss, “that the obsession will always be there. You and I, we’re different from the others around us. We have to keep this to ourselves to an extent, and we can’t do anything in public. Our obsession manifested from the circumstance. I don’t think that it will be able to go away until we no longer have restrictions. But by the time that time comes, it will have only grown stronger. I love you, Whitley, I do, but I am fucking obsessed with you too.”
I slam my lips onto his and hope that he can feel how much I love him regardless of this obsession that still lingers in my skin.
Whitley has completely consumed me—mind, body, and soul.
“If I could tattoo your name on my bones. I would.” I tell him.
“Have I ever told you that I love your tattoos?”
“Maybe once or twice. How about you tell me something that no one else knows.”
He takes a moment to think about it and then gives me a sweet smile. “You’re not allowed to laugh at me.”
“I would never.”
“Yeah, sure. Okay. I decided to learn how to read binary code when the Matrix came out.”
“Really? That shit isn’t easy. That’s awesome.”
“Yeah. No. You were correct. It’s not easy. I learned my name and then quit because, as you said, that shit is hard.”
I try. I really do. But I can’t help it; I let out a small laugh.
“I told you not to laugh at me.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just…. That’s cute. But hey. You know how to read your name. A lot of people can’t do that.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
His mouth connects with mine as he rolls on top of me. As he kisses me with everything he has, I think of something that will show him just how much I love him.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Itook my truck to the clubhouse today. I was too nervous even to try and handle my beast of a bike. I’m sitting here, watching all my brothers milling about, talking, and bull-shitting. I see Zombie and Gears giving Turd a hard time, all of them with a smile on their face. Why is this such a hard thing to tell them?
Because of who you fell in love with, dumbass, they are going to see it as treason and take your patch. You are going to lose the only family that ever wanted you.
I shake the thought from my head. They won’t do that. I mean, they came around to the idea of Anderson. Hell, he’s even a brother now.
But he always showed loyalty to NOMC. All Whitley has done is hide from not only you but his own job. That’s not really the same thing.
Before I could argue with myself anymore, a sharp knock on my window scared me. Looking up, I see my VP watching me. Storm’s eyes are starting to show his age a little, but I see something more in there as he watches me. I shake my head and open the door. I turn in my seat, so I can look directly at my VP.
“You look like you are about to take on the world and lose. What’s going on?” Storm always knows what everyone is feeling. It’s like he has a straight-up tap into all of our emotions.
“I have been at war with myself on this one. Trying to figure out who I really am, it’s not working.” I shake my head, looking down at the gravel between us.
“You’re Knuckles. Our tech lord and virus fixer. Do you know how much valuable jack-off time you have saved when the guys download malware from free porn? A lot, okay. We are your family, and nothing is going to change that.”
“I don’t think this is a bad thing, but I am turning into someone I don’t even recognize. I found out some things about finding the one you are meant to be with—how that changes your view on everything.” I might as well start it off slow and tell him like this.
“So, that’s what’s kept you pinned away from us for weeks at a time? Why haven’t you brought them around to see us yet? We would love to meet the person who can put up with your geeky ass.” There was a strong clap on my shoulder.
“Why didn’t you just say she?”
