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“Is there a she?” Storm side-eyes me.
I don’t know how he figured it out or if he was attempting not to assume, but something told me it was the former. “No. There is no she. I seem to have found myself obsessed with a man. The boy next door, if you will.” I say, trying to throw some humor into it.
Storm humors me and gives a small chuckle. “I kinda figured. When you would fuck the girls here, it wasn’t often, and when it did happen, sorry to say it, but we all thought you were a minute man.” he laughs a bit harder, and I join in. Did I really have that pattern before? Was I always trying to tell myself something but never wanted to listen until Whitley? “But,” Storm starts up again, breaking me from my thoughts. “There is nothing wrong with wanting a man or being with one. What matters is if he’s good to you. Is he good to you?”
“Yes. He’s fucking perfect. He’s everything.” I say, and even I can hear the hearts and flowers dripping from my voice.What the fuck has love done to me?
“Then what’s the problem?”
Letting out a breath, I tell him of my fears. “I know that we all accept Turd, but he also came to us with a lust for dick. This is a complete one-eighty of what they know. When I talked to Turd and Zombie cornered me, it turned out okay. But this…this is telling my club of testosterone-filled, manly ranching, fixing cars kind of men that I now like to suck dick. That is going to change how they see me. When they come to me for help, they will wonder if I’ve been lying this whole time. It’s gonna change things. And when I tell you guys what he does, I most likely will be taken to the ring again.”
“I always knew Connard liked it up the ass. Well, it was nice knowing you.” After giving me a hearty smack on the shoulder and almost knocking me from the car, Storm turns to walk away.
“What the fu—no. No, sir, would I ever do that to the club.” I sigh.
“Then, the way I see it, you are fretting over nothing. No one will see you differently because you like a little ass play and now love sleeping with a man rather than a woman. No one is going to see you differently because you were lost, then you found yourself. Or he found you. It doesn’t matter. We love each other unconditionally. That is what we do here. Would you believe that my very first love, also the strongest love I’ve ever felt, was also a man?” he asks me, looking me dead in the eye. “Does that make you look at me differently than you did?”
“No, but it makes me question how well I know Natasha now.” I try not to let my mind wander when I see my VP start to take a swing at me. I barely duck out of the way.
“She is my Ol’ Lady and one of the best things to ever happen to me. She knows there is a place in my heart for Shay. That there always will be.” There was this dark cloud of sadness that washed over Storm just now. When the name left his lips, the whole tone of the conversation changed. “When Judge aged out, I was left on my own for two more years. At that time, I was changed to an all-boy home. That’s where I met Shay.
I felt a draw to him that I had never felt before. At first, I thought it was because I was lonely without the only brother I had ever known. But the more time I spent with him, the more I needed him. Our foster fucker saw how close we were getting, and that created new lessons he would teach. He would beat us regularly to toughen us up. Our foster mother did nothing while he used us for punching bags. Through it all, I fell hard for him. I was obsessed with him. I couldn’t get enough. I was happier than I’d ever been when he told me he felt the same way. We had to hide everything because we were risking our lives. I knew that the fucker we lived with was going to do something to us if he found out. We couldn’t risk being kicked out. No one would want a couple of kids a few months from eighteen. I got out, and my foster father was none the wiser about my love for Shay. Unfortunately, Shay wasn’t lucky. Somehow, the piece of shit found out that Shay was gay and killed him for it.” I don’t think Storm even noticed tears that started to fall.
“I am sorry for your loss, Storm,” I whisper, watching him smile a little and shake off the emotion. “But I get what you are saying. I need to put more faith in my brothers. This is all new for me. I don’t really know how to navigate this. Also, don’t forget, I know this will get me dragged back to the ring.” I look away for a moment. I can’t take this anymore. I need my VP to know, and I need my Prez and my club to know, but this is terrifying.
“How so?”
“I am dating one of Wyman’s finest.” Storm goes to interrupt, so I quickly add on, “He is just a ticket bitch, but I know how this looks.” I watch the gambit of emotions hit Storm’s face before he took my arm and pulled me along into Church.
Fuck.
The fear was genuine. Everything that I was already feeling was only amplified. We went from joking and me telling him my new truth to me being terrified he was going to murder me. All of those previous concerns that I had? Well, they all now seem valid. I shouldn’t have argued with myself. I was right. I follow without complaint. I knew this was going to be my fate. Storm practically tosses me into Prez’s office at the top of the stairs and runs to get people.
I sit down and wait. I know what’s coming, but I can’t accept it. I walked in here willingly, but now that it’s here, I can’t allow them to take me away from Whitley. I love him so damn much, and I know he loves me too—if not more. We are each other’s true obsession, covered in pure, unfiltered love. I don’t want him to know the pain that Storm feels with the loss of Shay. If I had to guess, Storm and Shay were precisely like how Whitley and I are.
Maybe not this extreme because, shit. We’re a little fucked up.
But, the pain that Storm experienced was real and would be exactly what Whitley goes through. I may be in trouble, I may be retaken to the ring, and those are both okay. What I won’t allow to happen is my death. I won’t leave Whitley. I can’t let him live in this world without me. I can’t allow him to experience soul-shattering pain. I won’t do it. Maybe Storm can help me. He knows what I mean. He knows how I feel. Fuck. All the guys should. Well, most of them. The ones with Ol’ Lady’s are so crazy about them; they have to know how I feel. Right?
Why would they care? He’s a cop. It doesn’t matter if he is a ticket bitch. They will never accept him.
“They have to,” I whisper to myself.
The door to the office slamming shut snaps my attention. There in front of me stands Judge, Prez, and Storm—and I couldn’t get a read on any of them.
“Okay, Storm said you have some information for us.” Cowboy stands tall, crossing his arms on his barrel of a chest.
“No, I didn’t. I said he had something he wanted to share. Get it right.” Storm spins from looking at our Prez to me. “Give them the short version of what you told me.” he gives me a small smile of encouragement.Maybe he will help me.
“I met someone. His name is…. Well, his name isn’t important right now. I am in love with a man. Who happens to be a ticket bitch,” I take a deep breath, steeling myself for this next part. “For the Wyman police force.” I hold my hands up, showing them I need to get this out. “Before you ask, no, he hasn’t been alone in my apartment. No, he doesn’t have a key to my place. We stay at his place. We don’t talk about anything regarding his job or mine. Never. Unless you count all the crying I’ve done because I want to share every aspect of my life with him, and I can’t. I couldn’t take not telling you anything anymore. We’ve been together for a while, and if I’m being honest, I’m never letting him go. I’d marry him tomorrow if I could.” I take a moment at the realization. It’s true. I would. And I now had a more significant reason to get this shit with this town handled. I glance at their stunned expressions and continue. “I wanted to tell you this because you are my family, and I need to be honest with you. I can’t tell you who he is because that would put his life in danger. He is terrified of what Connard would do if he found out he was gay. Look,” I rub my hands on my neck, “I know this needs to be club first. It’s been ingrained in us for years, but I can’t put his safety second. I love him so fucking much, and he’s mine. He is everything to me personally. I’m sorry, Prez. You can take me to the ring if you need to, but I will not tell you his name.”
I stand tall. I was showing him that I meant what I said. I will die protecting him. I can only hope he puts himself in my place. I know that if it was his Ol’ Lady, I would never expect him to put the club over her. Family first, club second. That is what we should have been taught.The club is your family.
Here we are, an MC that does stuff that isn’t one hundred percent on the legal side. Each one of us with blood on our hands, some more than others, but we’re still a family. They are my brothers. Mama El is more of a mother to me than my own. I would die for these kids. It doesn’t matter if they were blood-related or the ones that were just passing through. Whitley is my family, my heart, my soul, and now my whole reason for existing. When the time is right, I hope they will accept him to be family here, despite what he does.
“Okay, well, this is new. I’m not sure how to deal with this.” Cowboy runs his hands over his face, looking from me to his dad. Storm is sitting there with a big ol’ shit-eating grin on his face.
“Just to clarify, what you’re telling me—us—is that you’ve shacked up with a man, who you are also claiming as your Ol’ Man? You’re also telling us that he is a cop here in town?” Judge looks at me like he is just sick and tired of all the bullshit going on.
