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“Man, fuck that. One. You’re in a motorcycle club. It’s like some unwritten law that we take what we want. If what we want is someone that belongs to someone else, oh fucking well. Take her. And two. The guy is a total piece of shit. Not one person in this club likes the man. Hell, people in the hospital don’t. You would be doing her a fucking favor by taking her away from him. So who cares if she has a boyfriend? Boyfriends are temporary. Take her.”
“I can’t just take her. She isn’t mine.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, man. You could walk right up to her and tell her to get her shit because she belongs to you now, and she would follow you. I promise you.”
“How the hell do you know that?”
He doesn’t say anything. He just shakes his head, and for a brief moment, I see the pain in his eyes. Who hurt him? Was there someone he wished would take him? Tell him to grab his shit and come with him?
“Don’t worry about it. Look. I get why you don’t want to take her. You aren’t a caveman, but something tells me that a caveman is exactly what she needs. If Clit was a decent human, I’d tell you to fuck off and stay away from her. He’s a piece of shit, though. But at the end of the day, you need to do what’s right for you and her.”
He slaps my shoulder one more time and gets up, and leaves. I wanted to stop him, but it is clear that something is bothering him. The past found its way forward in his mind, and he needed a moment by himself.
I sigh and bring my head to my hands.
I wanted to do what Turd said I should do. I wanted to pick her up and take her. I wanted to look at Clint and let him know that he no longer has any rights to her. But that wasn’t how shit worked. She needs to choose me. She needs to come to me. She can say that she’s mine, but I can’t allow myself to steal her away—no matter how much it’s killing me.
Fuck this. I can’t sit here and have a pity party.
I’m back on my bike in an instant.
You can ask any biker, and they’ll tell you the same thing—nothing clears your mind or refreshes your soul like riding.
I take the curves with ease and continue until I’m at the top of the mountain. When I pull off at the lookout point, I turn my bike off and just sit there for a moment, taking the scene in. Placing my helmet on the bars, I get off the bike and sit on one of the boulders near the edge. I situate myself so my legs are off the side of the boulder.
Peace.
Everything is calm. The quiet relaxes me. I stayed calm for a while until my mind brought up everything with Audrina. By the time I made it back to my bike, I was no closer to figuring out what I needed to do. How can I walk away from the woman that owns my heart?
I take the back way into the compound. I enjoy riding through the fields and getting a glimpse of the animals in their environment. It smells bad, but at the same time, it’s comforting. I get to the back of the club, park my bike, and head inside. Everyone is here. I let out a breath and take in the sight before me. All my brothers. They’re all happy and living the way they’ve always wanted to.
This is my family.
I’m going insane with how I feel about Audrina, but there is one thing I know for sure. I’ll always have these guys.
“Okay, quit with the little bitch shit.” I quietly chastise myself out loud and head over to Turd and Zombie.
What feels like hours pass when I hear Knuckles speak.
“Fuck. Prez, I gotta head to the gate. The cameras are out.”
“Anything I should be worried about?”
“I’m not sure. Give me ten. If I ain’t got nothing by then, come out. There was nothing in the feed prior to them going out. Most likely, a big ass bird hit them and fucked‘em up somehow.”
We all carry on as Knuckles told us to, but I can tell that Prez is worried. When he checks his phone exactly ten minutes later, he starts to panic.“I’ll give him one more minute.” What feels like the longest minute of our lives starts.“Fuck!” Prez shouts, immediately making all of us stop. Prez looks around the room before he tells us all to head out. Something is most likely wrong. Knuckles would have texted, or been back by now.
We all get on our bikes and head out to the gate. Stopping by Knuckles’bike, we all see him kneeling on the ground.
“Knuckles! What the hell is going on?” Prez yells out, taking a step toward him.
When Knuckles stands up, I can see what the issue is. There’s a body. I just can’t tell who it is from here. Knuckles takes a few steps toward us and looks at every single one of us. I can see his hands shaking and watch him suck in a lungful of air.
“Knuckles! Who the fuck is that?”
“It’s Steffie, and she’s dead.”
“Y
