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He pushes me down, which is when my fight instinct finally kicks in. I scramble away, clawing at everything, trying to escape him. He pulls me back, ripping my shirt. I spin and start clawing at his hands, fighting to get him off me so I could run out the door. I reach up and claw my long nails down his face, marking him up.
“YOU BITCH!” He punches me, and I am never more thankful for the adrenaline pumping through me as I barely feel it. I keep pulling away from him, anything to get away. I scream no and for help over and over again. But I am giving up hope that help will even come for me. Why would they?
His hand closes over my mouth and nose, cutting off my breath, my sense of panic climbs. He is pulling my dress pants down, my shirt is ripped, and I feel woozy. When I think I am going to pass out, he releases my mouth, and I start to gasp for air. All the while still fighting him as best I can. Yelling and scratching, refusing to give in. I feel the cool air, and I know he has gotten my pants off. He takes both of my hands and pins them over my head. I struggle and scream while he forces his body between my legs. That’s when I feel it. He is going to rape me.
“You like being treated like a whore?”
I start screaming louder and louder for help. He uses one of his hands to hold both my wrists and takes his other to cover my mouth. Using his hips as a guide, he shoves his dirty dick into me. Over and over again. I can feel myself tearing as the pain from everything becomes too much.
He is going to use me and then kill me.
Almost as quickly as it starts, it’s over. Mentally, anyway. The pain is gone, and all I feel in its place is an all-encompassing numbness. Allowing myself to give up. At least I will die knowing what it was like to kiss Nate. To feel his hands on my face. I won’t leave this world not knowing what he really thought about me. I can close my eyes, knowing that he wanted me as much as I did him. That he felt something for me bone deep—something real. What I had with Clint? Nothing compares to the truth of what Nate feels for me.
I close my eyes and stop struggling while he keeps thrusting. He starts to become more jerky and uneven as he stabs me with his almost flaccid member. He lets me go, pulls out, and jerks himself off all over my body. Painting me like the whore he thinks I am.
After a moment, he gets up and tucks himself back in his pants. He looks at me in disgust before he spits on me and leaves. I do nothing but lay there, exposed, raw and broken. I don’t know how long I’m there. I am sure I am drifting in and out of consciousness. Then, I hear a big truck pull up. Maybe help is here. Maybe someone heard me scream.
“Audrina?” A muffled female voice calls out,“Your door is open. Are you here?” It’s Bri. I start to cry.They do care.“Aud—” her call is cut off when she rounds into the living room.
“Help,” I say softly, my throat raw.
“Jesus Christ. I am going to kill him.” she grabs a blanket,“I am calling in the troops. Don’t you worry. I have you, babe.” She tosses a blanket over me.
“Not the men,” I mumble. I don’t want them to see me like this.
“Don’t worry. Mama El is on her way. We got you. Okay? I got you. He won’t do this again.” I hear the emotion in her voice. I can’t help but smile as I let the darkness take me over one more time.
Iam sitting next to Mr. Big, preparing for the biggest moment in my life. You’d think I am kidding, but only Artem could have a lawyer on speed dial named Mr. Big. I am going to trust him, though. After he’d gotten Cowboy and me out of our arrest, he’s been kicking ass at making sure that today goes to plan. He also said they would tell me if I will be able to legally change Baby Girl’s name. I know that Marley is a hard name for everyone to say here, especially Cowboy. Add in the fact of what the real reason is as to why she is named that—I don’t want her to grow up living with that. I know the truth will come out one day, but I feel making it her middle name would be a better move. It will still be there, as a part of her. The one thing I will tell her that her birth mom gave her. Because as much as I want to forget Steffie and what went on while she was alive, she is my daughter’s mother. I want her to know a few good things about her—even if they’re hard to think of.
Taking a deep breath, I look behind me and see most of my family here. Mama El, Judge, Storm, most of my brothers, and their Ol’Ladies. Unfortunately, not everyone could be here. A ranch can’t shut down for the day because one of us is in court. I wouldn’t hold it against any of them that told me that they wouldn’t be able to make it. Those who couldn’t slapped me on the back told me they loved me and wanted the outcome I’d been fighting for. But looking around, while I feel so much love, there is one face I don’t see. The one face I have been craving to see.
Audrina.
I watched her give her personal testimony on me gaining not only my baby girl but the petition put forward allowing me to adopt her one biological brother since his father is dead. She said she would be here when the final decision is made.
Where is she?
I feel so out of my element. I’m in a blue suit that mama El and Audrina picked out for me. I know I look sharp. But I’m miserable in it. I’m stressed because I don’t see her. I keep looking back for Audrina. I know that we will start soon, and I won’t see her come in if she is late. My heart hurts so much thinking about her, but I still need her here with me. I need her here to hold me together when this all plays out. As much as it kills me, I need to feel her hand wrapped in mine. I need her to tell me that it’s going to be okay and that we won’t give up if this doesn’t go the way we want.
“All rise,” the bailiff calls out. I look forward and stand with my lawyer. I’m trying to look as hopeful as I can, but under the table, my knees are shaking. Never in my life have I been this nervous. I’ve never been this scared. I love my daughter, and I love Dillon. All I want is to be able to legally call them mine. I can’t help but have this insane amount of fear, though. They wouldn’t let Cowboy adopt Marley because he was a single man. Why would they let me keep Dillon?
The judge signals for all of us to sit as she shuffles through all the papers on her desk. I don’t know if she is looking for something or trying to make me more nervous than I am. I am on edge; my leg is bouncing up and down. My lawyer places his hand on it. I guess I am making the table shake. Judge Josslin finally sighs before she starts to address us.
“In this family court, we have seen many things that have torn families apart. We have seen mothers and fathers alike fight for their children—not always for the right reason. What I have seen here, in this case, is a young man that is made to believe that he is not the father. I see that you took the steps needed to prove paternity, and once that was proved to be true, you did what you had to do to support your child and her biological sibling, whom you didn’t have to support. It’s clear that you wanted to be a part of their lives, Mr. Roscoe. I believe you did that for the love you feel for these kids. I believe that you wanted to take care of your child and that you took care of her brother simply for the fact that he is her brother. I don’t see any malicious intent when it comes to taking care of Dillon. I am aware of your relationship, both personal and professional, with the Kelley family and the Faulkner ranch. This court never saw you as a danger to either child and allowed you to strengthen your bond with the children. Marley has seemed to flourish and thrive in the environment she is in, as has young Dillon. That is thanks to you and the amazing support system you have around you and him.
I have spoken to Dillon, and he truly does see you as the father in his life. He also sees your family as his own. You all have opened your arms, and your hearts, to him as that—a member of the family.” she sighs, looking at more papers. No, don’t stop now. This is going in my favor.“The home study slightly concerns me. It shows that the place is small and over a butcher shop, with only two rooms for three people. While a small living arrangement isn’t illegal, there is very little in the way of enrichment for the children.” No. No, she can’t hold that against me. It shouldn’t matter that the home is small. It’s a home. It will keep them warm at night and sheltered from all of the environments. Families live in smaller places all the time. This can’t be why I don’t get my kids.“There were also questions about your capability to care for yourself, let alone a baby and a small child. At first, I was worried that you were incompetent and just trying to fool me, which, I will advise, isn’t something that someone gets away with in my courtroom. However, after looking over all the testimonies from others, I was able to come to my own conclusion regarding this person’s evaluation. You are a father who is trying to do the best he can, and it’s in the court’s opinion that you can do amazing things if you keep up with this tight-knit family you have created.
The court is granting the petition to add Nathaniel Roscoe as the father in question to Marley Kelley. It’s in the court’s opinion that you will be the best father you can be for her. You will be awarded sole legal and physical custody of Marley Kelley,” There’s a pause as she looks at something else on her desk, a small smile on her face,“It is also in the child’s best interest to be where her brother is. In the case of Dillon Putain, the court will grant sole legal and physical custody to Nathaniel Roscoe, as well as add Nathaniel Roscoe as Dillon’s father on his birth certificate. While being a single male in this state would normally work against you, I feel that keeping these siblings together is the best chance for them to thrive. The court also sees the petition to change Marley’s name. At this time, both children’s last names will be changed to Roscoe. If you choose to change either of their first names due to malicious intent from the mother, you can file for that name change with the clerk. Congratulations, Mr. Roscoe. Go home, hug your kids.” she winks at me and bangs the gavel.
The sound of my brothers yelling, hooting, and hollering is deafening in this small room. The judge smiles, then puts on her serious face and bangs her gavel, calling for order. I feel numb simply from how much adrenaline is surging through me. My lawyer shook my hand and then pulled me in for a hug.
“Congrats, Rambo.”
“Thank you. I don’t know if this would have happened without you.”
He smiles and then shakes his head.“While I wish I could take the credit, I can’t. I may have done what was needed at certain times, but Rambo,youdid this. You did everything you needed to do to prove that these kids should be yours. Don’t downplay that.”
I could feel the tears in my eyes from his praise. He isn’t lying. I fought for these kids. I did that. I gave him a small smile before I was dragged out of the courtroom by my brothers. I’m given a hug by Mama El and the Ol’Ladies that are here. Bri and Audrina are nowhere to be found. Bri, I understood as Cowboy isn’t here. I’m sure she is home with all of the kids. But did Audrina even show up? This isn’t like her, but I can’t focus on that. I need to celebrate. I am, legally, finally a father, but I’ve always been their dad.
