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I am whisked back to the farmhouse where my kids are in what feels like no time at all. I go up alone to Dillon’s room. I promised him that I would tell him how everything went. No matter what happened, I would always be proud to be his dad. While I wanted to go and hug my daughter, Dillon and I needed to have this moment first. I never want him to feel like he is second best in my eyes because he isn’t biologically mine. When I open his door, he is sitting on his bed with his back facing me. I gently close the door, but it makes enough noise that he turns around, and his eyes meet mine. I haven’t even said anything, and tears are already in them. He looks at me, begging me with his eyes to rip off the bandaid and tell him.
Pain and worry is evident on his face. He’d been crying for a while. From his body language, it’s apparent that he’s been telling himself that I wouldn’t get to keep him and I wouldn’t be his dad.
I didn’t want to cause him any more worry. I hand this sweet boy the paper the judge gave me. The one that shows his new last name and that I am listed as his father. He doesn’t move or say anything as I sit beside him, and he looks it over. Then after a few moments, he launches himself at me. Holding me tight in his tiny arms, the sobs that come from him break my heart. I can’t help the tears that fall from my eyes as I hold him close—trying to gently reassure him that this is right, that I am going to be his dad forever. I am here to stay, and I love him and his sister so much. My heart has never felt this full before. I thought I knew what the definition of family was being in the MC, but holding this boy, whom I fought so hard for, shows me there is no one set definition of family. It’s what you make it.
Dillon must not have slept much during the weeks leading up to the trial and all the interviews that he had to endure because the next thing I know, he is asleep in my arms. As much as I want to sit here and hold him, I need to find Audrina and tell her thank you for everything she’s done. I don’t think any of this would have been possible without her. Yes, I fought this fight, but she was with me every step of the way.
I head down to the kitchen and look around. Everyone has a smile on their face. When they all notice me, they start cheering again, lifting beer bottles and clinking them together. I can’t help the smile that seems to be permanently attached to my face.
“Where’s my daughter at?”
“She’s still napping. Manda tried to keep her awake but wasn’t having it.” Storm tells me.
I thank him and grab a beer for myself. I can’t help but look around and notice that Audrina isn’t here. While it had crossed my mind at the courthouse, and I pushed it aside, I can’t do that any longer. I look for Bri, and that’s when I see that she isn’t here, either. Or Elvira. What the hell?
“Hey, where are Bri and Elvira?”
Cowboy looks around, and I think that’s when it honestly clicks for him that she isn’t here. But when he starts talking, it is obvious he is looking to see if she is back.
“She had texted that she had to run a quick errand and would be right back. I thought that she’d be back by now, though.”
“El told me at the courthouse that Bri had called her and needed her help with something. Who knows with these women.” Judge laughs. Admiration for his wife is evident.
“Think whatever they’re doing has something to do with Audrina?” I ask.
“What do you mean?” Sever chimes in.
“Audrina wasn’t at court. She had been such a vital piece in this whole process. I was sure she would be there. I haven’t heard from her. I figured she’d at least be here by now.”
“When are you gonna claim that woman?” Willie asks with a huge grin on his face.“Don’t try to say you don’t love that woman. It’s obvious that she’s it for you.”
I sigh and shake my head before I take a sip of my drink.“She’s got a man. It doesn’t matter if she’s it for me. She isn’t mine to have.”
“The doctor? Man, fuck that guy.” Judge says.“Him and I, we don’t see eye to eye. Who cares if she’s with him? She deserves better.”
They all nod, but I can’t help but stay quiet. I’ve heard this all before. It doesn’t change how I feel. I won’t play white knight and ride in on a horse and save her. She wouldn’t forgive herself, and I wouldn’t forgive myself for causing her that pain. It is a lose-lose situation for me.
The monitor in the kitchen lights up, letting us know that a car just accessed the gate. We all turn, effectively getting off the topic of my and Audrina’s non-existent relationship.
“Looks like the girls are home.”
Something tells me that I need to go outside. My fear and worry about Audrina likely caused my feet to start moving. When I get outside, Elvira is already at the passenger door of Bri’s car. Her body is leaning into the car, so I can’t tell who it is that she is trying to help. When she comes out of the car, my world collapses.
“What the fuck?” I hear someone say, but I don’t try to figure out who. I’m already pushing myself toward Audrina. When I get to her, her eyes widen as much as they can with the swelling on her face. Someone beat the absolute fuck out of her.
“What happened?” Audrina snaps back from me, and I feel instant regret.“Audrina, I’m sorry. I just…. I didn’t mean to yell.” I try to step toward her again, slower this time, so I can get her into the house. She needs help. When she willingly comes to me, I sweep her up into my arms and cradle her to my chest. I turn back to the house and rush to get her inside Elvira’s room. It’s the most private place that I can put her. Given what I can see, I know she’d prefer that. As I walk past my brothers, they all have faces of fury. It’s clear that they all want to know who did this to her and want to kill them.Get the fuck in line, guys. This one’s mine.
I get her into El’s room and place her on the bed. I then start to take count of her injuries, and I start to get more pissed off. I school my features as much as I can. The way she flinched away from me told me enough to know that a man did this. It is easy to figure out that the twatbag Clint is behind this. I need her to tell me, though.
“Amour,” I slightly touch her face,“who did this to you?” She shakes her head as tears slide down her face, and my fury skyrockets.“Audrina, please, tell me. I promise you. They won’t hurt you again.”
“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”
“Bullshit. Audrina, you’ve done nothing wrong. That piece of shit should never have laid his hands on you. Period.”
“I never said it was a he.”
“You don’t need to tell me that it was Clint. I know it is. I wanted you to tell me. But I won’t allow you to sit here and say it is your fault. Nothing justifies this.Nothing.”
