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What she doesn’t know is that I’ve been hers since the minute I saw her. She has flawless, creamy pale skin and bright blue eyes that, when I first saw her, were filled with happiness and strength. Her red hair is striking and the most perfect shade I’ve ever seen. She’s the complete opposite of my dark skin. I want nothing more than to see what colors we can create.
But I can’t.
She isn’t mine, and she never will be.
Knocking again, I can only shake my head in anger at myself. I shouldn’t put myself through this. I should find someone else. I should move on. I shouldn’t have to move on from someone when I never had them.
This is such a fucking disaster. I could take her. I know that I could. I could steal her from the piece of shit and never look back. I would never feel bad. But she would. Audrina has the biggest heart, and I can’t stand the thought of being the reason why it’s broken.
“Nate? What are you doing here?”
Her voice takes me out of my thoughts and self-loathing. I look up, and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen looks…broken. Tired. This isn’t my girl. This is someone else.
“I went to see you at the office. I need to talk to you. Ellie said that you called in sick. I tried to call you to see if you were okay, but you didn’t answer….” I trail off. I wait for her response, for her to acknowledge how much I care about her. I want her to see that she’s always on my mind. That I’m worried about her. Even when I shouldn’t be.
“I’m fine, Nate. I’m just tired.”
I can hear the pain in her voice and decide that I don’t care if her toolbag of a man is here. She needs me.Does she? Or do you need her to need you?
I push myself into her house. I crowd her, and she steps back with me. My body sends shock waves through my system when the slightest bit of our skin touches. I take a deep breath in, and everything is different. The honeysuckle smell that she normally has is gone. All I can smell now is the pain that permeates the air. Grabbing her hand, I take her over to the couch, sitting her down next to me. I need to find out why she’s hurting. This is what a friend would do, right? For my sanity, I put a couple of inches between us as I angle myself to look at her.
This time, I really looked at her.
She has bags under her eyes, her skin is blotchy, and her hair isn’t its normal shade. It’s clear she hasn’t washed it in days. She’s a mess. Something is eating her alive, and she isn’t doing a damn thing to hide it.
“Audrina, look at me. What’s going on?”
I said I wasn’t going to touch her. I told myself that I can’t, that I won’t survive the want that courses through my veins if I do. I fucking lied. My hand comes up to her face, and I cup her cheek. Her eyes close as she leans into my touch. I want to pull her into me and feel her lips on mine. I want to kiss away her pain and let her know that she will be okay. But I can’t. She isn’t mine. No matter how much I want to change the outcome.
“Audrina?”
She sighs, and tears well in her eyes.“Do you ever just feel like you’re playing it off as being strong? That every day you have to put on this façade, so no one sees what’s going on inside? That’s what I feel like, and I am tired. I am so tired of being the strength that others need. It’s crushing me, Nate.”
“Audrina, amour,” I bring myself in, but I just wrap my arms around her. I’ve already slipped—calling her my love. I can’t slip further.“You don’t have to hide from me. You can tell me what’s wrong. I’ll listen to you. To anything you say. You have me, the others at the club, especially El and the girls. You don’t have to bottle up anything. You’re not alone.”
She pulls back from me, and her tears have flooded her face.“He’s so mean, Nate. So mean. Why is this what I was given? What did I do? I’m a good person, right? Why can’t?…. Why won’t?….”
“What? Why won’t anyone? What?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she shakes her head.“He’s already made it clear.”
This is the second time that she has brought up ahe. There is only one person that she would be talking about.“Fucking Clint,” I growl out.“What has he told you?”
“Only the truth.”
I try to get her to tell me more, but it’s a battle I’m not going to win. I can only assume the worst, as she won’t give me anything else to go off of.
“Why are you really here, Nate?” Turning the topic unexpectedly, I stay quiet for a moment.
“I need to talk to you. Steffie came in, threa—”
“—Stop,” she holds up her hand,“you’re only here because you needed something from me, right?”
Her eyes are filled with fire. And pain. So much pain. Something sinister is going on behind her closed doors. Where is the woman that was stronger than all the men in the club put together? Where is the woman that didn’t let anyone walk all over her?
What the fuck has Clint done to her?
“No. I’m here because I care about you. You didn’t go to work, and then you didn’t answer your phone. That isn’t like you. I came here to make sure that you’re okay.”
