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‘Just stay there, it’s fine,’ said Rob. He wrestled his T-shirt on and sighed heavily as the hammering started again.
‘I’m fucking coming,’ he replied, opening the door.
‘I’m sure you are,’ said Mark with a smirk, looking beyond Rob to Hannah, who tried to look casual but somehow managed to look horribly awkward and guilty, like she’d been caught wanking in church. She swallowed down the sick feeling and countered his lecherous gaze with a hard stare, kicking herself for being so stupid.
‘This is not what you think,’ said Rob, but Mark wasn’t listening.
‘My office, nine a.m.,’ he snapped. ‘And your T-shirt’s on back to front.’ He stalked off, leaving only Olly standing in the corridor, staring at Hannah and Rob with a look that might once have been triumphant, but now just looked a little sad and empty.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
‘I’m going to get fired,’ muttered Rob, pulling his T-shirt off and throwing it on the bed. ‘I can’t believe I’m going to get fired.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Hannah, her hands covering her mouth and her face a mask of horror. ‘I shouldn’t have come.’
Rob turned to look at her, his expression softening. ‘Hey, it’s not your fault.’
‘I should get back to my room.’
‘Look, maybe we’re over-reacting. Mark can’t fire me for something we absolutely didn’t do, it will be fine.’
‘I really hope so.’ She looked incredibly young and unsure all of a sudden, and Rob realised how unused to dealing with women like her he was – she was older than practically every woman he’d dated, but she was also incredibly naive and he kind of loved her for it. None of his exes would have come anywhere near his room without half a dozen strategies, cover stories and exit plans, it was a rookie move. But he couldn’t be mad at Hannah for it – she’d meant well, and right now that counted for a lot.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?’ he said, giving her a reassuring smile.
‘Sure.’ She nodded, pulling herself together. ‘Meet me in the café in the square at nine thirty? After you’ve seen Mark?’
‘OK,’ said Rob, an acid feeling building in his stomach. Would Mark really believe that nothing had happened between them? They’d never been friends, exactly, but Rob had earned his respect. Although maybe that made everything worse, because now Mark probably thought he’d been mugged off.
‘I’m really sorry,’ said Hannah. ‘I feel awful.’
‘No,’ he said emphatically. ‘I shouldn’t have let Olly wind me up; that’s what started all this. Do you promise you’ll be there tomorrow? You won’t drive off and never come back?’ He hated how needy he sounded, but the idea of never seeing Hannah again made his chest hurt.
‘I promise,’ she said, backing towards the door. He wondered if she felt this too, this physical pain of wanting something you absolutely couldn’t have, and feeling like it was all slipping away.
‘OK.’ He took a deep breath and opened the door. ‘There’s a fire escape at the end of the corridor; if you go down that way you end up in the car park. Less likely to bump into a bunch of idiot schoolboys.’ They could talk tomorrow; unravel this mess in the cold light of day.
Hannah nodded and gave him a weak smile. She clearly wasn’t a crier, which was a bonus. Rob had a momentary flashback to Nina, squeezing out fake tears in his flat in Bath. That was barely a month ago, but it felt like a lifetime.
‘I shouldn’t have come, I’m so sorry,’ she said again. There was a moment of hesitation, and then Rob instinctively opened his arms and pulled her in for a brief hug. Hannah pressed herself against him for barely a few seconds, then hurried out of the room without looking back. It was about as chaste as hugs got, but Rob realised it was the first time he’d properly touched her. For a moment it felt like he couldn’t breathe.
He sat on the bed with his head in his hands, waiting for the pounding in his ears to subside as he processed everything that had happened in the past half-hour. He was pretty sure he could avoid the sack in the morning; Hannah had been fully dressed and Mark had no evidence that anyone had broken any rules. But even if he saved his job, Hannah was still leaving, and the thought sat heavy in his stomach. He wasn’t in the right place for a relationship, and clearly neither was she. They’d made a mutual decision to not get involved and he wasn’t going to be the one to derail it, even if looking at her made his balls ache. She deserved better than someone like him.
‘All right, lover boy,’ said a loud voice, as the door was flung open. He’d forgotten to lock it, and now Chris and Jonno were piling into his room. ‘Somebody’s been playing secret bingo.’
‘Leave it, OK?’ said Rob.
‘What was she like?’ asked Chris. ‘No wonder you wouldn’t let Olly near her, you sneaky fucker.’
Rob stood up and put himself firmly in Chris’s face. ‘Get out, both of you.’
Jonno shrugged and laughed awkwardly. ‘Just a bit of banter, mate.’
‘Just fuck off, OK? I’ve already lost it with Olly this evening, and if you don’t both leave my room I will break both your fucking arms.’
Chris held up his hands. ‘Whoah, calm down. We’re leaving.’ They both backed out of the room, giggling nervously. Rob locked the door and stood by the window, clenching his fists and taking deep breaths. He thought about what his parents would say if Mark fired him and he turned up back at home after just a month. The Baxter family didn’t do failure. You excelled at everything, you left your imprint on the world. The idea of getting on the Plane of Shame made him want to puke.
And then he thought about Hannah – the feel of her in his arms for all of the three seconds, the smell of her hair, the intense look in her eyes. By this time tomorrow he’d have potentially lost his job and Hannah, and he felt a powerful need to save at least one of them. The question was, which one mattered more?
