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The pain reflected in her eyes has me wanting to take it away and burn it to the ground. I don’t spook her as a faraway look darkens her eyes, lost to the memories.
“I thought it only existed in fairy tales. And when Niall broke my teenage heart, it felt like he pierced it with a knife and gouged the little daydreaming girl inside me into pieces.”
“Kitten,” I whisper, my voice raw. Bringing her closer, I tuck her underneath my body while I lean on my elbow.
She smiles brokenly and continues, “I grew up seeing superficial love. The kind that could be bought with money while I ached for the unconditional kind. The one that my grandparents had. For the longest time, I thought I didn’t deserve it. Until I stopped chasing the happily ever after I always yearned. I hate that I allowed Niall the power to make me give up on love, but mostly myself for doing so easily.”
Bianca bares the deepest and darkest parts of her heartbreak. The sorrow she lived through all these years. It’s like a vicious knot tying around my throat because all this time, I thought she had moved on. That she was happy. Instead, she had been hurting and drifting.
Just like I was.
“You’re right, kitten. You don’t just deserve to be loved because you’re the kind of woman who becomes a man’s entire world. The kind where his existence begins and ends with you. The kind where he lays the stars and moon beneath your feet just to glimpse your smile.”
“Isn’t that obsession, Dash?”
“Maybe love and obsession are the same,” I whisper. “Because with you, my wife, I feel both.”
“Until you, it would’ve scared me but you’ve made me brave to fall in love again, Dash. I believe it with every fiber of my being and I’m not scared to wear my heart on my sleeve,” she confesses with tears shining in her eyes. “Because of you, Dash.”
My fingers tighten and I lean until our foreheads touch. Until I can gaze to the depths of her soul. I kiss her lips through the tears and groan, “You make me believe I deserve it too, Bianca. I feel it every second, every breath I take when I’m with you. Because until you, I thought I would die alone and I didn’t care if I did. Now, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“I wish I had met you first, Dash.”
“Me too, kitten.” My voice is gruff. “Me too.”
Laying on my back with her soft body cocooning and clinging to my hard one, I watch her fall asleep. However, sleep eludes me and I stay awake the whole night, staring at the woman fate dropped in my path. My entire universe. The love of my life.
I never thought I could feel anything for anyone but goddamnit, I have fallen for her.
I love her.
Yet the weight of my past sits like a log on my chest, like we’re heading for a downfall.
An unstoppable collision.
And I don’t know how to stop it.
Chapter Fifty-seven
BIANCA
Nerves tickle my belly with both fright and excitement as Dash and I drive down the familiar streets of his hometown and my heartbreak. The city feels like it hasn’t changed at all. Except, I’m not that naïve eighteen-year-old girl anymore.
Déjà vu slams into my psyche as the car passes through the same street where Rosa and I shared an apartment. The sun rises, blinking at me from above as I gaze out the window. Never in a million years had I thought I’d be returning to this place with bittersweet memories. In fact, I had vowed to myself I would never come back.
But if I truly want to let go of the hold of my past, I need to face my fears. With Dash and his comforting presence beside me, I am confident I will. It’s like he said… Time to turn those awful memories into pleasant ones.
“Do you still own your house?” I ask Dash, who has my hand on his lap.
The fear of running into Niall is a constant and crushing weight on my chest. Once I left, I never found the courage to confront him and neither did he try to win me back or apologize. Of course, the urge to call him arose when the intimate memories became too much, but Rosa was always there to talk me out of it.
Dash continues to rub circles with his thumb as he meets my gaze and answers, “No. I sold it. Even if I had, I would have never taken you back there.”
His thoughtfulness brings a smile to my lips and a swarm of butterflies. “Where are we staying then?”
“My apartment. We’re almost there.”
“I know we haven’t discussed this but what will happen between us when you have to move back?” I ask, trying to feign nonchalance. Even though I’m desperate and holding my breath to hear his answer. The funny thing is my biggest fear has been getting cheated on and yet, I’ve never once doubted Dash’s devotion. Despite his playboy reputation. Strangely enough, he’s always made me feel as though I’m the only girl in the world. “Your whole life is here and mine is back home.”
