Page 114 of For his Surrender

Moments in which I think I could live forever. Moments of intimacy.Moments when I feel truly seen by someone.Teeth bite my chin before a low laugh reaches my ears.

“Coward!” Marcos whispers, drawing my attention to his blue eyes. “It’s just intimacy, love... Getting you used to it will be my life mission from now on.”

Love... Someone really needs to make him stop.God!It shouldn’t send shivers down my heart.Shivers in the heart shouldn’t even be possible!I close my eyes and sigh.I get other kisses on the tip of my nose, on my eyelids, on my cheeks.Marcos doesn’t stop even when he’s kissed every part of my face.

He goes down my neck, shoulders, kisses the bones of my collarbones, passes through the valley between my breasts without stopping anywhere.His kisses are soft, unpretentious, affectionate.

Marcos is adoring my body with his lips and I think I’m going to die, I’m going to melt into a puddle of uncontrolled, racing heart, fear and pleasure, all at the same time.There will be so many feelings that no one will ever be able to identify the mess that I once was.

I close my eyes, enjoying the contact of his lips with my skin and for a few more minutes he remains tireless in the task of driving me crazy, until he gets up, puts me back between his legs and sinks his face into my neck.

“Is it over?” I ask slightly surprised and, to my shame, clearly disappointed.Marcos laughs softly, pulling a deep breath into my neck.

“Yeah... Now we go to part two of the exercise!”

“Part two, huh?” I raise an eyebrow, even though he can’t see.

“Yeah... Now you tell me about something important that you’ve been thinking about lately.”

I snort and turn around, leaving the side of my body resting in front of him.

“The way you say it sounds like I take advantage of you all the time and we just have sex, but we’re always talking, and besides, you’re the one who made my call at lunchtime naughty when all I wanted to do was talk to you.” Smiling, he kisses my face and pulls my body against his in a loving embrace.

“And now I want to make up for it. Come on, tell me. I’ll suggest a topic! How are your plans for college?” The chosen subject gets me excited, because I’ve really been thinking about it a lot over the last few weeks.

“I’ve already chosen where I want to go!” I can’t stop myself and clap my hands enthusiastically. Marcos laughs at my excitement and shakes his head, agreeing.

“Where?”

“To Santa Carmen!” His eyebrows rise as he shakes his head up and down.

“My father studied there.”

“Really?” I’m surprised by the revelation. “I always thought he went to a public university.”

“No... In fact, Santa Carmen was a family tradition until I broke it in my generation. He’ll be happy to know that you’re going to put things back together.” His words tear the smile from my face without any delicacy.I blink, stunned by the statement, and Marcos frowns.

“What is it,Ella? Did you feel anything?” My heart stops beating, I want to answer him.But I swallow the words, because I honestly don’t know if I want to deal with what Marcos just said.First, because I don’t know how I feel about the claim that I’m part of his family.As much as he insists that our marriage is real, I don’t think he understands how things like the ones he just said can affect me.Before Isabella I didn’t have a family, not a real one.Then, because I also don’t know if I want to find out that it was a mistake on his part to use just those words, or if I’m the one who misunderstood. “Antonella?”

“No. It was nothing. I just remembered that I need to answer a college email” I lie and he shakes his head, still suspicious.I run my tongue over his lips, trying to distract him, it works.Marcos sucks my tongue, turning my teasing into a slow, tasty kiss.

“That kiss tasted like distraction,” he says still in my mouth and I laugh.

“I’m thinking of getting in a driving school.” I change the subject, hoping this will do a better job of making Marcos forget the previous one.

“You don’t know how to drive?” Again, a wrinkle is created on his forehead.I take my lips to it and kiss it.

“No...Isabella was born before I turned eighteen.” Marcos touches my cheek in a slow caress.

“I’m sorry, Antonella. You had to postpone so many plans...” Slowly, I move my head, denying, before planting a kiss on the palm of his hand.

“It’s alright. I... It’s fine.” I bite my lip and he silently agrees.

“But you’re gonna be an amazing driver. I’m sure.” His thumb brushes against my cheek and I close my eyes, enjoying the caress on my skin and heart.” And until then, well, we’re rich! We can afford to replace all the poles of São Paulo with rubber poles!”

“Asshole!” I bite his hand, the easiest part of him to reach, and Marcos laughs loudly.

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