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“Are you sure?”
“Double!” I challenge, and he laughs, pouts his lower hip, and shakes his head.We are served quickly, two glasses of whiskey on cloth napkins are landed on the counter, both double doses.Only the color of the drink is enough to fill my mouth with water.God, how long has it been since I’ve had a good whiskey? A good one? Years… So many!
It turns out that good whiskies are expensive, very expensive.And even if in Grazi’s father’s apartment there were some good bottles, I would never put a drop of alcohol in my mouth having Isabella under my sole responsibility.
“Am I allowed to laugh if you get drunk in the first glass?”
“I never imagined you’d be the kind of man to ask permission for anything, Marcos.” I raise an eyebrow, and his expression turns into something I can’t explain.
“I’m not...” he pauses, looking at me, letting the silence settle, “But I’m also not the kind of man who gets married, and here we are...” He takes my right hand and, carrying my ring finger to his lips, kisses the ring he gave me before gently abandoning it beside my body.I draw a deep breath as discreetly as I am able, and needing that drink now more than ever, I reach out and take one of the glasses arranged side by side.
Marcos follows me, I raise my glass in the air, and he toasts.Salivating, I bring the glass closer to my face.First, I smell it: spicy, sweet, something smoky, fruits... red fruits... I close my eyes, focusing on what used to be one of my favorite games, identifying the ingredients of a whiskey just by the smell.At seventeen, I could identify at least thirty-two different types without tasting a drop.
That was one of the few things I could share with my father, and the memory tightens my chest.Finally, I taste the drink.On my tongue, the taste is mild: woody, bitter, fruity, all at the same time, and there’s even a touch of chocolate.It’s a simple flavor, and I’m pretty sure it’s a Blue Label.
“Holy shit!” Marcos’ almost growl catches my attention, and I open my eyes.I find my fiancé looking at me and swallowing, leaving no doubt that, for whatever reason, his surprise is uniquely and exclusively about me.
“Is everything okay?” I frown.
“It’s just...”
“Marcos!” Behind me, a third female voice sounds.The focus of Marcos’ gaze shifts to its owner, and I do the same.As I turn around, I come across a gorgeous woman with long brown hair and green eyes who measures the man next to me from head to toe without caring about my presence.
She slept with him.It’s a fact, and I’m actually surprised to realize that I hadn’t thought about it before.
I was so focused on representing the ideal woman for Marcos’ firm board and his parents, that I completely forgot about what wasn’t even a possibility, but a certainty, tonight, I would find women he’d already dated and had sex with.Not only that, but there is a huge possibility that some of them want to know what he saw in me to suddenly abandon the life that involved them and get married.
Except he didn’t abandon it.Nor will he, they just don’t know it yet.They will know when he discreetly, as agreed in our contract, looks for their company.Where the hell was your head, Antonella? All those looks and smiles and touches? I laugh at myself.And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, hormones are not reliable, they not only do not reason autonomously, but they prevent our neurons from doing so.
I take a deep breath and open my most cordial smile toward the woman.
“Jaqueline!” Marcos greets, sounding disconcerted, and I would like to know why, did he, like me, begin to forget who we are?No, Antonella, he probably just doesn’t want to deal with a one-night stand that happened a long time ago.What did you expect from a man who hides in another room in his own house so he doesn’t have to deal with saying goodbye to his casual date the next morning?” I didn’t expect to see you here,” he says, sounding friendly, but he still makes no movement towards the woman.
She, on the other hand, approaches much closer than would be appropriate and, surprising me, hugs him, as if they were old friends.Marcos takes a few seconds to reciprocate, and I remain in exactly the same place, with the same smile glued to my face. A perfect ornament.
When the two separate, Marcos ties my waist with one of his arms.
“Jaqueline, this is Antonella, my fiancée,” he introduces me.To his own good, he doesn’t stutter or falter.The woman’s face immediately turns into a surprised expression before her mouth opens into an O shape. But it only lasts a few seconds.Her recovery from the news happens very quickly, and she does not extend her hand to me, but approaches me, making it clear that she intends to hug me too.
“It’s nice to meet you, Antonella.”
“Likewise.” I notice some people whispering around us and I’m not sure what’s expected of me in a situation like this.Clearly, she not only slept with him, but many of the party guests seem to have something to say about it. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the toilet,” I say to both of them, opting for the easiest way out, not having to figure out how to behave.I leave a soft kiss on Marcos’ cheek and let go of his touch.
With safe steps, I ignore the glances I get as I walk toward the bathroom and thank heaven for finding it empty, but I can’t afford leaning against the countertop and lowering my head.No.I look out of the mirror, confronting the very image that called me an impostor at the beginning of the night.
I used to be that woman, but honestly, I don’t feel like her anymore.To be honest, when Marcos looked at me like I was the only woman in the world, I felt a little more of her, and I liked the feeling that hadn’t been mine in years.I decided there that tonight I would do more than wear a dress that silently described my personality, I would be that personality.
But it’s easier to plan than to do when I remember what’s at stake.I can’t risk being dismissed as, I have no doubt, that woman I left talking to Marcos was.He is not a one-night stand that I myself would discard the next morning without giving him time to have a second thought about me.He’s my fucking passport, Bella’s passport, and I desperately need to keep my fucking head on straight!
I inhale deep through my nose and release it through my mouth.Once, twice, thrice. I open the small bag in my hand, take off my lipstick, and just as I’m about to touch my lips with it, the bathroom door opens.I raise my eyes, trying to see who interrupted my moment, and find Graziella standing right in front of the door with one arm resting on her waist.I turned in her direction, it was past time for her to show up.
“Did you run away?” She asks, not bothering to say good evening to me.
“What did you want me to do, Grazi? He clearly slept with that woman, and what was the poor, helpless, sweet, innocent bride supposed to do? I didn’t know how to act, I thought it best to just get out of there.Especially since it’s pretty clear that whatever happened... Everybody knows… Everybody but me…”
“Oh, yes! I heard some things on the way here.” She steps away from the door and starts walking towards the sinks.Her dress is black and it’s completely transparent on the upper part, overlapping nothing more than a lace lingerie, before, at the waist, joining a satin band that opens in a flowing skirt of light and bulky fabric.The perfect translation of sexy and elegance. “Looks like she was his secretary until his father found him with his dick jammed up her ass a few months ago.”
I laugh, disgusted.
