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“How much to upgrade the A/C and fuse box?” Wesley asked.
“If you want to do it right, I’d say on the order of twenty thousand.”
“Would you recommend we do that?” I asked.
He nodded. “And put in solar panels, to be honest. You’re talking, all in all, about a fifty to sixty thousand dollar investment that could pay off at up to ten times that if you sell it right. This is Southern California, land of the Prius and Tesla — anything you can do to make this house look ‘greener’ will make it a very appealing sell, particularly since it means the buyers won’t need to deal with those renovations themselves.”
Wesley was lost in thought, mulling it over in his head. “We also have our own contractors,” he said to me. “They’ll cut us a discount. I can probably convince the board to put in the extra money.”
He was so confident. He was such a good boss. And was so intelligent when it came to all things real estate. But all I could think about was whether or not he’d be a good father. It wasn’t something that had even crossed my mind until now. He was sexy, no doubt, and had a fatherly quality to him, but it was hard to imagine him with an actual child. Or at least it was before I knew him. He had a playful side to him, but it took a little work to get it out. I first noticed it when he was watching that Marx Brothers movie back at his house forever and a day ago. That serious businessman melted away and revealed his inner child. And, though he was past his middle age, I could imagine him playing fetch with our son or having a tea time with our daughter. Or, in this modern world we live in that increasingly eschewed gender roles, perhaps it would be vice versa.
The thought of him having a tea party with our future son made me smile and even brought a happy tear to my eye.
Wesley turned back towards the inspector. “You mention all this in the written report, correct? So, I’ll have something to show them?”
The inspector nodded. “Of course, Mr. Hartford.”
“Wonderful,” Wesley said. “We’ll read through it and let you know if we have any questions.”
We all shook hands and the inspector left.
“You think we can get all that done?” I asked.
“Yes,” Wesley said. “With our contractor connections and the California rebates on building energy efficient homes, this will cost us next to nothing when all is said and done, but like the man said, it’ll push the value of the house up. On top of that, several major indicators are suggesting a market recovery and even a boost in the coming months. I’m not one to count unhatched chickens, but I’m starting to get pretty optimistic about this. We might even break even.”
I felt like he was being conservative with his predictions. With everything he said, there was a strong possibility of walking away with an actual profit.
“It’ll take a little while,” he said, “but once we sell, I think we deserve a little vacation. Maybe a cruise to Iceland or something. Just the two of us.”
I had to bite my tongue. On one hand, it was nice to hear him talk about us having a future. But with the construction and renovations he was talking about, there was a good chance it would be three of us by the time the house sold.
Or four, that evil voice of anxiety told me. It’s always possible that they’re twins.
Or that I’m not even pregnant, I shot back at the anxiety.
…Yet. I could almost hear the anxiety’s diabolical laugh. Why was it doing this to me?
“Unless that doesn’t sound like something you’d want,” Wesley said. “Sorry, I realize that might have been a little forward of me.”
“No, no,” I said. “It sounds great!” I mustered some enthusiasm in my voice to try to cover my uncertainty. If only I could read his mind and know exactly how he’d respond, I wouldn’t have to keep a secret. And I wasn’t even sure that I was keeping a secret. I hadn’t taken a pregnancy test or seen a doctor. All I had was a missed period and a little bit of nausea. There was no point in telling him until I knew for sure.
Because I could totally understand if he didn’t want to be a father. Being a father was a huge responsibility and could be a burden if it’s not what he was looking for. Also, he was a bit older than me — when the baby was heading off to college, Wesley would be at retirement age. By the time the baby got married and had kids of their own… Wesley could very well be in his 70s and possibly be too old to play with the grandbabies.
If that was even something he’d want.
“I’m just tired of keeping this a secret,” he said. “I don’t want to get too sappy on you, but you’ve made me happier than I ever imagined I could be. And I hate that there are so many distractions all the time. I just wish that the rest of the world would go away and leave just you and me.”
He was being sweet. The words he was saying and the meaning behind them were so nice. But they were hurting me.
“I know,” I said, forcing the enthusiasm from before.
“When this thing is over,” he said, “when we sell the house. No more secrets. We’ll let everyone know. Okay?”
The glass of the conference room made us visible to everyone otherwise I’d give him a kiss to show how I appreciated his sentiment. “Okay,” I said. “But for now, I need to meet the Eastons.” I looked at my watch — I had time, but I wanted to pick up a pregnancy test on the way over and, besides, he didn’t have my schedule memorized. “I’m already running behind. I’ll catch up with you later?”
It was sort of a lie, but even if the words weren’t true, we had a non-verbal understanding. Wesley knew something was up and I did nothing to hide the fact. He didn’t press me on it. It was something I respected about him — he always minded his own business and trusted me enough to know that I’d let him know if it ever became his business. That would be soon enough.
I did pick up the test, but traffic made it so I wouldn’t have the spare five minutes to actually use it until I got back to the office. Once I did, I locked myself in the office bathroom and prepared to wait in agony while the five minutes passed.
