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I shudder as the harsh, icy wind comes to life. It’s a far cry from how serene it was to be near the Mediterranean Sea this summer. A smile spreads across my face, tugging at the corners of my mouth, as I remember how surreal it was to have Morgana, Lupa, and Kai with us.
“Wait,” I gasp, clutching Liam’s hand as excitement and… I don’t even know how else to describe what I feel. “Morgana said she’s seen the maze before.”
Until now, I never gave it much thought. However, if she remembers correctly, someone would have had to take her. While I can’t be sure that Marian even knows where it is, Alexander obviously knows.
I share these thoughts with Liam who looks grimmer the more I explain. “Do you think your dad showed her?” he asks, when I finish.
All I can do is guess at this point, because Alexander certainly didn’t share it with me if he did. I feel petty when envy rears its ugly head as I consider my dad showing her, but not me.
“Maybe,” I say, sounding as unsure as I feel.
“Okay, I’m just going to ask the obvious question. But why would Arthur and Morgana’s mom not find it strange she suddenly came home with twins if she was only pregnant with one?”
I can’t help snorting, because I asked the exact same question. After all, I’m pretty sure it’s common to know how many kids you’re carrying.
“My dad doesn’t know for sure. However, he suspects Uther was conspiring with Marian, and if that’s the case, who says his wife knew she was only carrying one baby?”
Liam laughs as he says, “Or maybe she was carrying twins and they did a switch?” The question hangs unanswered in the air.
I know my consort meant it as a joke, but what if it’s true? Who’s saying that isn’t exactly what happened?
“I wouldn’t put it past any of them to have done exactly that,” I spit, clenching my hand. “All I know for certain is that Alexander didn’t tell me everything, so your guess is as good as mine. He suggested we watch‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’, and that felt like… I don’t know… a clue, maybe?”
Silence stretches over us like an invisible cloak, embracing us and keeping us in our bubble as we both get lost in our own thoughts. But really, what can either of us say? This is beyond fucked up.
“How are you going to tell Gus and Kai?” Liam asks, and I swallow audibly.
“I don’t know… I’m supposed to spend tomorrow with Lupa and Morgana, and I don’t even know how to be around them saying nothing.” I’ve come close to canceling our Halloween shopping plans, but decided against it. That doesn’t mean I know how to handle it. “And I don’t know if it’s smart to tell Kai and Gus before we go to England for the Heir Tournament.”
Acting as though he didn’t hear me, Liam just nods. The motion is almost mechanical, like he’s bobbing his head along to his thoughts rather than acknowledging what I said.
“You need to tell Kai and Gus sooner rather than later. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable, or if it goes against the Kronos Society. This is more important, agápi.”
I look up at his face, taking my time admiring his features. When he’s like this, they’re so hard his cheek bones look like they could cut a diamond, that’s how statuesque he looks. “Why?” The way he said it was as though he knows something that I don’t.
He shakes his head and peers down at me again. “I don’t know… it’s just… it feels like it needs to be done. I can’t explain it, it’s just a gut feeling, intuition maybe? But look at where secrets have gotten us, any of us. It never works out the way it’s meant to, and this is too big to hold back on purpose.”
I don’t disagree, I just don’t know how to even have this discussion with my cousin or our Ruler, who’s also my husband.
“What haven’t you told me?” Liam’s tone makes it clear he knows I’ve withheld something, and he isn’t going to let me get out of telling him. What he doesn’t know is that I have every intention of telling him, but only he can know—at least for now. “Agápi,” he growls when I don’t answer him right away.
“He’s dying,” I sob. The thoughts I’ve done my best to push down are finally breaking the surface, and I can’t hold the tears back. “My dad is dying. That’s part of why he came back now. I was right in Greece, though, he isn’t here for me. Well, he is, and he isn’t.” Liam gently pulls me up so I’m sideways in his lap, my head resting against his hard chest as I finally allow myself to feel… everything.
My consort doesn’t stop me from feeling sad and lost. Instead, he whispers words of comfort and places sweet kisses on my cheeks while he lets me cry my heart out. I cry for myself, for my dad, my uncle, Gus, Kai, Liam, Morgana… even Lupa, who didn’t become the Russo Leader because of archaic notions and views.
Sure, the choice was hers, but was it really a choice? It’s hard to force another path when you know your own kin are gunning for you, and I don’t blame her for giving the spot to Remus. Sometimes the bravest thing to do is to fold, and Lupa did that.
I’ve never felt more lost than I do right now, not even when both my parents were brutally ripped from my world, leaving me with no one. All of that seems so small compared to now, and I feel like I’m back in the sea, being tossed around by primordial forces that can’t be controlled.
I take a ragged breath as I straighten in Liam’s lap, and look him in the eyes as I give him the last secret. “My dad killed the Leaders. He said it was his gift to me and Morgana, a clean slate.” Although we already suspected it, it’s a different thing to hear it, and it shocked me when he openly admitted to wiping out his fellow councilmen.
Liam buries his face in my hair, nuzzling his nose against my throat. “Maybe you don’t need to tell anyone about that last part just yet, but you need to tell your cousin and husband about Morgana.”
“Tomorrow,” I promise. “But tonight I want to be alone with you.”
We get up from the sand and make our way over to the car so we can head home. Neither of us speak, which makes the moment even more perfect.
Laughter spills from my lips as I apply makeup to my face. I’m going shopping with Lupa and Morgana today, and strangely, I’m looking forward to it. Despite everything that’s going on, I’ve decided to embrace the upcoming Halloween ball—and I’m happy about that. Shopping and mindless chit chat is exactly what I crave. Hopefully, it’ll get me out of my head long enough to enjoy myself.
