AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“There are so many things I never told you,” I whisper, kneeling next to Kai’s bed. “But I want you to know that if I could do it all over again, the only thing I would change is telling you how I feel sooner. And not allow you to push me away so we could have more time together. I love you, Kai.”
Like with Liam, I bend down and kiss his slightly parted lips. The feel of his hot breath caressing my soft skin feels so familiar I have to remind myself to stay strong. Two goodbyes down, one to go—and it isn’t getting easier.
Using the shadows to my advantage, I stealthily make my way back to the window I crawled in. Sneaking across the floor, I feel like I’m being watched, but I know it’s just my imagination making my skin feel itchy and the hairs on my arms rise to attention. My hand is on the windowpane when a hand is slapped across my mouth, muffling my surprised scream.
“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?” My heart is beating so violently it almost drowns out the familiar voice. “Did you think I wouldn’t wake? That your fucking presence isn’t screaming to me even when I’m asleep? It was nice of Morgana to call and let me know what you planned to do, but it was entirely unnecessary. I fucking sensed you.” The mirthless laugh that follows the rough tenor doesn’t soothe me. It makes me feel more on edge.
“Let me go, Liam.” Though his hand muffles my words, I know he heard me when he holds on tighter.
He pulls me back against him, bending down so his mouth is right against my ear. “I don’t think so. You came to me tonight, Acacia.” I flinch at his use of my full name. “Now I guess the question is why. Why did you come here?”
“I-I—”
“You-you what?” His bitter chuckle as he mocks me carries all the evidence I could ever need of just how angry he is with me. “I’m going to let go of your mouth now, and you’re going to be a good girl and remain quiet. Right?” Although Liam isn’t waiting for me to speak, I nod my affirmation.
As soon as his hand is no longer clamped across my mouth, I open and close, stretching the muscles from the painful pinch delivered by my former consort.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, turning me around so we’re face-to-face.
When the clouds evaporate, we’re cast in the cold light of the moon, and for the first time I can really see Liam. The bruises I spotted when I watched him sleep were nothing compared to the rest of him. The haunted look in his eyes, and the black circles beneath his eyes were hidden from me, and I wish I hadn’t seen it. It might have been my choice to leave, but it wasn’t an easy one and seeing the aftermath is heartbreaking.
“What happened to you?” I whisper.
While the dumbfounded look on his face is almost comical, his answer isn’t. “You left.”
Yeah, I’d guessed that already.
“You didn’t just leave me, Acacia. You fucking rejected me. Tossed me aside like an unwanted pet. Set me free with no fucking thought of how I’d be able to survive it. You. Of. All. People.” Tears free-fall down my face as Liam snarls at me.
In some ways, his analogy is perfect. I may not have meant it like that, but he’s right. I took him in, cared for him, loved him, and had him with me at all times until I decided to release him back into the wild.
“Never!” My mouth starts talking without any thoughts behind what I’m saying. “Ineverrejected you, Liam, and I never will. I… I can’t risk your life—my own, sure, butneveryours.”
“Such a pretty story,” he growls. Then he bites the shell of my ear so hard I almost yelp. “Is that what you’ve had to tell yourself? That it’s all okay because it’s for the greater good?”
When I don’t answer, he wrenches my head to the side and licks his way down my neck so sloppily I can feel the trail of saliva he’s leaving behind.
“It’s not a story,” I gasp as he finds the button on my jeans. With deft fingers he undoes my pants enough that his hand can slip beneath the denim, and he wastes no time cupping my cunt. “I can’t risk you—any of you.” I know he’s going to twist my words around and use them against me.
He can speak to my guilt, that’s all. Because at the end I know what’s at stake, and it’s a price I’m only willing to pay for myself.
“So breaking my fucking heart is okay, right? Because you’re doing it to save my life. What if I don’t want to live without you?” His mouth is back against my ear, and even though he’s only whispering, the words are too loud as they slip beneath my skin. “You’ve been my life for so long that I don’t know if I can live without you. But you don’t care about that, right? What I said before is true, you’re being a fucking martyr.”
“Am not,” I breathlessly counter. Liam’s long fingers snake beneath my underwear, and I feel my slit growing wetter as he parts my folds.
“Maybe not,” he pants, roughly shoving two digits into my waiting heat. “But you’re a fucking stone-cold, callous bitch.” With those words he removes his hand, and I can’t help but stare mesmerized as he spins me around and with a wicked glint in his amber eyes, licks his fingers clean. “At least now I got one more taste.”
“Liam… I…” Not knowing what to say, I stop talking.
This is why I’ve stayed away. One run in with him and my resolve is crumbling, and I can’t let it. I’ve already laid the foundation for him—for all of them—to hate me, I can’t go back on that now.
“You’re right,” I softly say while doing my pants back up. “You’ve always known what I was raised to be, so it shouldn’t be surprising to you.” I’m glad that my voice holds steady rather than betraying how broken I feel as I force myself to sound like I don’t care at all.
I stand still while Liam scrutinizes my face, praying my mask of indifference doesn’t slip until after he’s convinced that whatever he’s looking for is gone. When he doesn’t find what he’s searching for, he says, “You have no idea what you have done, agápi.” The defeat in his voice paired with his name for me has fresh tears threatening to spill. “If you stay with me, you can still make things right. If you leave now… if you leave, there’s nothing you can do. Even if I’m not enough for you, stay for Kai and Gus. You know it’s the right thing to do.”
Liam’s words are the light in pitch black, and for a brief moment I almost follow the light. With every part of my being, I want to cry for forgiveness, let him carry me away and take what he’s offering. With quivering lips, I reach for him and he immediately takes my hand and pulls me against him.
I allow myself exactly three minutes in his embrace, soaking in his warmth, before I pull back and whisper, “I can’t.” Before he can stop me, I turn around, intending to leave through the window, but I never make it that far.
