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I hadn’t realized that was something that I could do until one day I’d gone in to write a new note in my phone about ideas on where she could be when I got back only to see she’d edited those notes, line by line, and explained why she would never go there.
From there, we’d carried on a string of texts back and forth, and it’d definitely not been about anything work-related.
That was what I was doing right then.
Note: A circus? Really? Of all the places you could go, you went to a circus?
At first, our notes to each other had been quite confusing. Then she’d started writing in bold, and it’d helped tremendously for those of us not at the genius level.
I watched from across the room.
I was in a large atrium-type area with high silk tents, dark mood lighting, and a woman dancing with a boa constrictor in the middle of the stage.
Even the woman’s ethereal on-stage beauty couldn’t peel my eyes away from the blonde in the ball cap. She was wearing jeans, a white shirt that I was fairly sure had to be mine, that now that I thought about it, I hadn’t seen in well over a year, and black Chucks.
I watched and waited.
It didn’t take her long.
It was as if her whole system was set up with a way to alert her if I made any changes to anything. It never took her long. Not even in the middle of the night.
She read something, then her head jerked up as if she was searching the room.
Her eyes landed on JP first.
JP was in the corner with a black-haired woman with curly hair. She was doing something with a booth, setting it up, maybe, or taking it down.
Then she turned to survey the room, passing me by only to come to a screeching halt and drag her gaze back to me.
Her mouth parted, and I shit you not, her eyes welled with tears.
And I’d had enough.
No more staying away from her. No more running.
No more telling myself that it was because of her “genius” self that I couldn’t stand being around her.
I knew the truth now.
It’d been a year.
A whole fuckin’ year of wanting to see her again. Find her. Find out why she left. Ask her if I was the only one fucked up by her going.
There was something there between us, and though I wasn’t ready to admit it a year ago, I was ready to admit it now.
Not even the scary thought of her having a daughter, something that literally terrified the absolute hell out of me, could make me stay away this time.
I stepped down out of the stadium seating, one seat at a time, until I was at the bottom.
The woman with the tiger in front of me now—where the hell the snake went was anyone’s guess—watched me walk, her eyes on me as if she’d met her fair share of apex predators before.
I knew she’d made me as I felt her eyes on me as I walked.
When I got closer, the woman that was definitely setting up a table, not taking it down, made me, too.
I watched her whisper to JP, something that likely had to do with “go see so and so” because she left, disappearing out of the tent flap immediately to her right.
I tensed, only because I thought JP leaving meant that Folsom would, too.
