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“But you’re not allowed to have people staying with you in the dorm.”
“Yeah, I’ll just tell them you’re my girlfriend or something.”
“Really, Polly?”
“What? Do you want to go and live with Mom and Dad?”
“No, but I also don’t want to be faking that I’m my own sister’s girlfriend. That just seems weird.”
“Weirder than faking like you’re some domestic goddess and playing housekeeper?” she said, laughing.
“Yes, weirder than that,” I said as I started brushing my teeth.
“Oh my gosh, you’re brushing your teeth while you’re on the phone with me? Really, Harriet? How rude.”
I spat my toothpaste out and started laughing. “What? I’m getting ready for bed. And you brush your teeth plenty of times when you’re on the phone with me.”
“I know,” she said, “but I’m the middle sister. I can do it and get away with it.”
“And what, because I’m the oldest, I can’t?”
“Exactly. Plus, if you get a boyfriend, you can’t be brushing your teeth when you’re on the phone with him. You got to be all sexy and smooth, and spitting out your toothpaste into the sink is not sexy.”
“Well, I’ll worry about that when I have a boyfriend, thank you very much. Which I don’t have right now.”
“I know. Can you believe that none of us have boyfriends? Are we the biggest losers going?”
“I would be offended at that question, but I think it just means that we have standards. And guys suck right now.”
“Yeah, true. They do suck right now,” she said, “because all three of us are gorgeous, and we have great personalities.”
“And we’re funny,” I added.
“Oh, we’re so funny,” she said. “We could be comedians.”
“Yep,” I said. “I would be Sarah Silverman.”
“And I would be Margaret Cho,” she said.
“Who would Chelsea be?” I asked.
“Hmm, let me think. Ooh, Chelsea would be Sherri Shepherd,” she said, and I burst out laughing.
“Sherri Shepherd? The actress that just got her own talk show?”
“Yeah. She’s so much fun. Have you seen it?”
“I’ve seen some of the videos on Instagram.”
“She is funny, though. She’s super cool and super down to earth, and she always makes me laugh.”
“Yeah, well, does she have a man?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Does Sarah Silverman have a man?”
“I don’t know.”
