AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Oh my God. I thought you said he was in Tampa. I thought you said that you weren’t going to have to cook barely ever.”
“Well, I guess I said a lot of things that weren’t true, because he’s back now, and he wants me to make him eggs Benedict and Campbell potatoes for breakfast.”
“What the hell are Campbell potatoes?”
“I don’t know. It was something I made up to give myself more time, but I don’t know how to make the eggs Benedict. I’m looking at the recipe on Google, and it’s not even making sense. I need your help.”
“What do you want me to do? I don’t know how to make eggs Benedict.”
“I know you don’t, but you can go to a restaurant and bring me some.”
“Are you joking?”
“Denny’s is normally open twenty-four seven, right?”
“I guess.”
“Or Waffle House or IHOP or one of those places. Can you please, please, please find a restaurant that makes eggs Benedict and any sort of potatoes and bring it as quickly as possible? Like in fifteen minutes if you can?”
“I’m still in bed. I have to change my pajamas and—”
“Do not even think about changing your pajamas, Polly Campbell. You do not have time. Please.”
“Fine. What if they only have hash browns?”
“That’s fine.”
“But he’s going to know hash browns aren’t—”
“It’s fine. I’ll just say, ‘In our family we call hash browns Campbell potatoes.’ Whatever you do, just make sure you get eggs Benedict and potatoes. Okay?”
“Okay, fine. You owe me.”
“I do owe you, and I will buy you whatever you want when I get my first paycheck.”
“Buy me a Mercedes.”
“How much money do you think I’m making?”
“You said you were making one hundred and fifty grand.”
“A year, not a month.”
“I know, but how much does a Mercedes cost?”
“I’m sure more than my first paycheck is going to be. Polly, please get off the phone and go and get the food.”
“Fine,” she said. “But what if he—”
“He won’t figure it out. Now bye.”
I hung up, quickly grabbed a pot, and poured some water into it. Even though I wasn’t going to make the breakfast, I was going to have to pretend that I was cooking because what if he came in and saw a completely clean kitchen? Then he’d figure it out. No, I was smart enough to know that I’d have to fake cooking it so that when I served it, he would believe I’d made it. I opened the fridge, pulled out four eggs, and placed them into the pot.
“Wait, this is boiled eggs, though, isn’t it, Harriet?” I mumbled to myself. “This is not how you do poached eggs. Ah, who cares? Eggs are eggs,” I said. “And it’s not like you’re really using them.”
I knew I was going to lose my mind if I kept talking to myself, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“What else?” I said. “Okay, I need bread. Bread for the poached eggs to go on.”
