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“Don’t want him to think what?” she asked. “It’s your only option right now.”
“Fine. You hurry to Red Lobster and get scallops and branzino.”
“And if they don’t have scallops and branzino, what’s she going to get?” Polly said.
“Let’s say calamari. Everyone loves calamari, right?”
Polly nodded.
“And any fish that looks good.”
“Really?” Chelsea said. “Any fish that looks good. How the hell am I going to know what the fish looks like?”
“Ask the waitress, then,” I said. “Please, you need to leave now.”
“Okay,” she said. “And good luck, girl.”
“Thank you.” I could feel my heart sinking. I didn’t have a good feeling about the evening.
“Maybe.” Polly took a step forward. “You’re going to have to make the appetizer more exciting as well.”
“What do you mean?” This can’t be worse than this morning.
“Well, he didn’t get upset with you about the Egg McMuffin, right?”
“I mean, he kind of did.”
“Yeah, he kind of did, but then he was okay about it because you gave him a lap dance or whatever.”
“I didn’t give him a lap dance. I… Anyways, what’s your point?”
“My point is maybe kind of flirt and tease and do whatever you’ve got to do to get his mind off of not-so-edible food.”
I stared at her. “What do you mean the not-so-edible food?”
“I mean, I think that no scallops and no branzino might be the least of your worries right now.”
My heart was racing, and I wanted to throw up.
“What are you saying, Polly?”
“I’m just saying that I don’t know if this would be a winning meal onMaster Chef.”
“Okay, but would it be second place?”
“Unlikely,” she said, shaking her head.
“Top three at least.”
Her eyes widened, and she let out a nervous giggle.
“Polly, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that the food would most probably be likely to send you home.”
“But you and Chelsea—”
“Harriet, we can’t cook any better than you.”
