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She worries her bottom lip between her teeth, and my stomach flips at the gesture that is so reminiscent of my own bad habit.
“Okay, Summer.”
“Come on, then.” I stand, take her hand in mine, and walk her into the bathroom. “So, when I turn on the shower, and the water starts to flow, you need to tell the water that it doesn’t scare you. Like this.”
I reach into the huge shower, twist the handle, and the water drenches the oversized white Misdirection t-shirt Caden gave me to replace my vest earlier this morning.
Bella giggles when I jump back from the spray, and I answer her with a smile. “Now, are you ready? On the count of three, we shout, ‘you don’t scare me.’”
She nods, her smile so utterly contagious that my own grows impossibly brighter.
“One, two, three…you don’t scare me!”
Her voice whispers alongside my own, so I squeeze her little hand gently. “One more time, let’s be super loud. Show that water who’s boss. Okay, Curly-Sue?”
I wiggle my eyebrows and blow my eyes wide, making her laugh loudly.
“One, two, three…you don’t scare me!”
Bella is much firmer this time, taking things even further and diving head-first underneath the spray, fully clothed.
“You don’t scare me. You don’t scare me. Nah, nah, nah, poo, poo!”
She spins under the spray, twisting this way and that, arms in the air and face turned up to meet her fear until she stills, turning towards me.
“Come on in, Summer. Don’t be afraid.”
I smirk as I step forward, helpless to say no in the face of such honest-to-goodness innocence.
Once I’m underneath the spray, we both dance around, laughing like lunatics and repeating our little mantra until we are soaked through. Bella plonks her butt on the marble floor of the shower and declares. “I’m too tired to wash.”
I grin, grabbing her shampoo from the shelf before kneeling beside her. “Turn around then, and I’ll do it.” She smiles like the cat who got the cream—a smile identical to her father’s, making me remember his presence in the room.
I squirt a blob of the strawberry-scented gel into my palms as I turn my gaze outward to find Caden sat on the floor, legs crossed at the ankles, and looking entirely too pleased with himself.
Swallowing past the sudden appearance of a lump in my throat, I fight the urge to gnaw on my bottom lip as I begin to shampoo Bella’s curly locks.
Happiness is fleeting, idiot. Enjoy it while you can because we don’t know what tomorrow brings.
And even though I believe this with my whole entire self, considering the life I’ve lived, somehow, I can’t reconcile the fact thatthisis temporary.
Because itis. As surely as the sun rises. As surely as it sets, this is not in my future. No matter how much I wish it were otherwise.
* * *
Having managed to wash Bella, Caden had taken her from the shower, his eyes only flitting to my breasts twice—which wasn’t altogether bad, considering his t-shirt was moulded to my body and left precisely fuck all to the imagination.
He’d left a towel, some unopened boxer shorts, and a vest top alongside a huge soft robe that felt like I’d wrapped myself up in a cloud when I’d donned it over the vest and briefs.
It would have been just as easy to nip out to the studio to grab my own clothes from my luggage, but truthfully, I didn’t want to leave our bubble.
And I think he felt the same, considering he didn’t mention asking anyone to bring my things to the main house.
Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking.
I brush my wet hair out after towel drying it as best I can before taking a long moment to stare at my reflection, reminding myself that my reason for being here is greater than any amount of guilt I feel for stealing some moments of happiness.
Turning my back on my judgement, I stiffen my spine, purpose renewed, and step out of the ensuite.
