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He opens his arms, and I slide across the seat to allow him to shroud me in his warm embrace, more grateful than he could ever understand for the comfort he’s unquestioningly offered.
“Tell me again, please. What did they say?”
This is the third time I’ve asked, and he answers as patiently as he did the first time.
“They said that she’s comfortable. And that she’s not inanypain, but it’s highly unlikely that she will regain consciousness before…” His heart hiccups beneath my ear as he trails off. He expels a heavy sigh, then murmurs lowly, “Before the end.”
I slam my eyes closed, holding back the tears threatening to blur my vision. I’ve spent the years since Lita’s diagnosis preparing for this day, researching how things will go and what questions to ask. Rallying my heart to do what I need to do…butGod, it hurts so bad.
It doesn’t matter how much I’ve readied myself. The time is here. And I’m not sure I can do this.
Right then, as though he can hear my unspoken fear, Alex pulls back enough to palm my cheeks, tilting my head up. His eyes are fierce dark pools brimming with concern, and I canfeelhim filling my heart with the strength to face the pain, to survive the grief.
“I’m here. You’re not alone.” He swallows harshly, then brushes his lips across my forehead before whispering, “I’ve got you, Sunshine.”
My chest burns with the force of holding myself together, and I take another moment to breathe deeply of Alex’s comfortingly familiar woodsy scent before I slip from his hold.
My eyes find his as I straighten my spine. “I’m ready.”
His nod is heavy before he exits the car, coming around to open my door to take my hand and lead me to the front entrance.
The doors are wide open, with two orderlies standing on either side. They exchange a look when they notice a stoic Ford trailing along behind us, and it almost makes my lips twitch.
His height and black Stetson make him stand out in any crowd, let alone on the front steps of a quiet facility like Sunrise Harbor.
We walk inside to find the corridor is interspersed with medical personnel, clearly from the respite team alongside the usual staff from the nursing home. I nod at everyone whose paths I cross, not really taking note of the faces in my stupor until we eventually reach Lita’s room.
I hesitate for a split second until Alex pops his head around the door first before walking inside, pulling me after him.
“Reyna!”
Penelope drops her knitting and practically leaps from her seat by Lita’s bedside before enfolding both myself and Alex in her arms. “Mariana would be so happy that you’rebothhere.”
My eyes land on the still figure on the bed, starting at her feet and slowly traveling up to her face.
A sob catches in my throat when I see how pale she’s gotten, even since I’d FaceTimed Penelope yesterday.
She’s connected to the same IV fluids they’d administered earlier this week, but there are more monitors and wires than I’d have thought, and the sight is more than a little upsetting.
Penelope releases me from her hold, and I immediately move past her to sit on the edge of Lita’s bed. I take her familiar hand in both of mine, suddenly remembering in rapid succession other times when I’ve needed to hold this same hand.
On my first day at kindergarten.
On my twelfth birthday, when my father sold my beloved Fifi to help pay for gambling debts.
The day I got my full ride to Pearson.
At the appointment where she got her diagnosis…
Two fat tears fall from my lashes, landing on the sheet covering her as I forcibly stop the onslaught of memories from overwhelming me.
Alex gently places his palm on my shoulder, bolstering me, and I inhale a wobbly breath.
“Hey, Lita. We’re here.”
My words sound much too loud in the room, along with only the rhythmic beep from one of the monitors, and I flinch, lowering my pitch.
“We are going to stay if that’s okay.” I lean over, pressing a kiss to her wrinkled forehead before whispering against her skin. “I promise you, I’ll be righthere. Until…”
