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Lucky:
No, not yet. I’m sorry, brother.
I toss the phone on the dashboard of the truck.
“Gabriel’s condition was worse than Angel’s. He was shot multiple times, D. Angel is just now waking up, his body will probably take longer to recover. He’s going to make it through this. Just be thankful for small miracles right now. Angel is coming home to us.”
“You mean to you. There is no us, Royal. I’m pretty sure Angel doesn’t want shit to do with me after our fight, and just because you’ve got it in your head that we’re going to be one big happy family doesn’t make it true,” I say, seething with turmoil. It’s the truth whether or not he wants to hear it. The great Royal James will just have to live with the fact he can’t put his family back together again.
“Get the fuck out of here with that woe is me bullshit. Angel almost died! Yeah, you’ve been dealt a shitty-ass hand in life, but so have all of us. You need to get your shit together and figure out what’s important to you. Holding on to your pride or the girl you’ve been in love with all your life?” He slams his palm into the steering wheel for dramatic effect as I roll my eyes.
“What do you expect me to do, Royal? Just get over the fact that she slept with my dad? Act like it never happened?”
“He’s not your fucking dad! He’s the douchebag who raised you, and he did a shitty job at that. Or have you just forgotten the hell he put you through growing up? You finally learn the truth thathekept from you all these years then he gets himself shot with my girl right along with him and suddenly ‘he’s your dad.’ Yeah, well, fuck that! My dad fucked him over and in return, he fucked you over. That doesn’t give you the right—”
“Fucked him over? Your dad killed my mother, his wife, the love of his life. You think you got everything figured out? Well, what happens when I put a bullet in King’s skull, huh? You just gonna let that shit fly? Your dad put us in this mess to begin with and I’ll be damned if he gets to walk this earth while mine is laying in a hospital bed with three bullet holes in his chest. He shot Gabriel! He shot Angel! Open your fucking eyes!” I shout.
“You don’t know that. We don’t know that,” he responds, waving his hand between the two of us.
“You were right the first time.Youdon’t know that. It’s clear to anyone with eyes that King is responsible. When will you realize that? Does he have to take one of our lives for you to finally see him for the monster he is?”
“When we find him, I’ll get the answers I need and I won’t hesitate to shoot him my damn self if he is responsible for all this. I can face my problems head-on, D. Can you? Or are you just going to run away again?”
My fist collides with his jaw before he can realize what’s happening. “You don’t get to tell me how I can feel.” I pounce on him before he has time to react, but he’s too quick. He blocks my next punch and lands one on the side of my head. Pain shoots through my face as I furiously lay into him, going blow for blow in the cab of the truck with my brother. “I’m so sick of everyone telling me what to do and how to feel. I get to decide that, not you,” I growl with one last jab to his ribs before falling back into my seat.
He throws another punch to my ribs just as my ass hits the seat. “Then stop acting like a little bitch and deal with it. Walking around being a brooding asshole isn’t going to solve your problems. Talk to us! Talk to me! Let’s figure this shit out together. You can’t take the weight of the world on your shoulders, D. Look how that turned out for Gabriel. Do you really wanna end up like him?”
I know the road I’m on is a toxic one, but I’ve been by myself for the past two years dealing with this shit alone.
“I’ve been on this path for a while now and no one came to save me. I had to figure it out myself,” I say, staring out the window.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You wanted to be Angel’s savior with your fucking hero complex. You chose to go at this by yourself. No one forced you to cut us out and fall in line with what Gabriel wanted. You could have come to us and told us what was going on but you didn’t. There’s a reason why and you just aren’t saying it. Just be real with me.”
How do I say this without sounding like a little bitch? My gut churns as the truth resides within me.
“I wanted his approval, okay? Are you happy now? I thought if I did as he asked then maybe he might love me the way I needed a father to love his son. Yes, I wanted to protect Angel, but I also wanted to make him happy. It’s fucked up, I know.” A tear rolls down my cheek, and I refuse to look at Royal. I don’t want him to see how weak of a person I really am.
“It is fucked up, but at least you’re being honest for once, and not just with me. You’re finally being honest with yourself, D.” I slowly nod because he’s right. I’ve been lying to myself for years and I hate that. I hate how much I gave up to try to get a man to love me the way I remembered as a little boy. What kind of man gives up his best friends and the love of his life? I walked away from the people that cared about me the most in this world and look where that got me.
My phone begins to buzz from the dashboard. I reach for it, seeing Zeke’s name across the screen.
“Hello,” I answer.
“You need to get back to the hospital. Gabriel’s condition has worsened and the doctors need to speak with you,” he informs me. My chest tightens, each breath more shallow than the last. Fear settles over me as a thought crosses my mind—I’m never going to get the chance to make things right with him.
Turning to look at Royal, I see the sympathy written all over his face. He must have heard Zeke through the line. “We’re on a stakeout and it’s our last good lead on King. Can you send a few guys to the address that I’m about to send you? We can’t let him get away.”
“No problem, just get here as soon as possible,” he states before ending the call. I send a quick text with the address while Royal and I wait for them to arrive in silence.
Chapter 7
Angel
Thepolicefinishedtheirquestioning about thirty minutes ago. I wasn’t much help to their investigation considering my memory is shit at the moment. Between the anesthesia and the pain meds they are steadily pumping into my veins, I’m surprised I can remember my name.
Mom and Cassie help me to the bathroom so I can freshen up. My hair is a matted disaster and I couldn’t put a brush through it if I tried. My body feels sticky and gross after not having bathed in over a week—sponge baths aren’t enough to keep the ick at bay.
I feel like a broken doll not being able to shower on my own. I need to wash away the tragedies of yesterday and start fresh. Lucky and Jax sit in the room patiently while Mom and Cassie help me into the shower. Mom gently washes my hair while Cassie takes a rag and soap to my body, scrubbing away all the dirt and grime.
