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My gaze swings behind me, falling on Dante. He’s holding Cassie in his arms. Arms that should be wrapped around me, not comforting my friend. “It’s okay, Cass. I got you.” A twinge of jealousy surges through me.
Has he even looked at me? Does he even care that I almost died? He hasn’t even acknowledged my presence since he entered the room.
Animosity fuels my anger toward him. I clench my fists at my sides to keep from punching him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for asking,” I snark bitterly. Dante’s brows raise and the corner of his mouth twitches.
I can’t help it. Sure, a part of me is glad he’s comforting my bestie, but a bigger part wishes he would have wrapped me in his arms and held me the way he’s so freely doing with Cassie right now.
Does that make me a petty bitch? Yes, it does. But do I give a shit if it does? No! No, I absolutely do not give two shits. I’m tired of this push and pull game we keep going through. Somethings gotta give sooner or later.
“Jaxon looked like he was taking care of you just fine,” he grumbles.
Jax rolls his eyes, chuckling. I try to pull away from him, smacking his arm, but there’s no escaping him. He tightens his grasp on me, kissing me once more.
“I see you, Trouble.” I nod, burying my head in his chest.
I know he does. He’s always been the calm after the storm. My dark knight. Rescuing me from anyone who looks at me sideways and myself. When I find myself going into those dark corners of my mind, he pulls me back to the present.
Most people think Jax is a psycho and maybe he is, but he’smypsycho. The world may see him as a kid who killed his own father, but they don’t know the depths of despair he suffered at that man’s hands.
Jax likes to whisper sweet things to me about how I keep his demons at bay. But the truth is he does the same for me. Always knowing what the other one needs, and right now, I need him.
I need to be reminded that I’m loved and not loathed.
I start to wonder if things will ever get back to normal between me and Dante. Is our relationship even salvageable at this point?
I did the unthinkable. That’s my cross to bear, but he isn’t innocent. I’ve chosen to forgive him for leaving, for abandoning me without looking back. Why can’t he do the same?
The pain in his eyes when he looks at me is unbearable. Every time I think we’re moving forward all it takes is one small reminder of what I did to have us falling back into the same pattern.
He takes my chin, tilting it up until our eyes meet. “You good?” he asks, the worry lines on his forehead growing deeper. I hate that I’m the cause of them. I hate that we can’t all move on and be happy…together.
My lips form a hard line as I silently nod my head, trying to reassure him that I’ll be fine, even if that’s the farthest thing from the truth.
Jax has enough inner turmoil to deal with, he doesn’t need to worry himself with Dante and I’s issues.
I’m not okay, but I will be someday.
Today isnotthat day.
Jaxon gives me way more credit than I deserve. He thinks my skin is made of steel and my heart unbreakable, but he’s wrong. I may put up a good front but there are days I just want to lay in bed and sulk.
“Nothing about me is okay,” I mumble.
Hell, I just killed two men and then almost died trying to protect myself and Cassie from their enemies. I’m anything butokay. I’m a hot fucking mess who’s on the verge of breaking. I don’t say that, but I’m damn sure screaming it in my head.
“He’ll get over his shit eventually. Just give him time,” Jax whispers, leaning down until our lips are barely touching.
“How much time do you need to mend a broken heart?” I ask. Jaxon shrugs with a frown on his lips.
I instantly close the gap, needing to feel more of him. Reminding myself that I am loved. Focusing on what I don’t have with Dante has me losing sight of what’s right in front of me.
Three guys who love me and would do anything for me, that includes learning how to share.
And a Gabe.
Fuck. My shoulders sag at the thought of him.
