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“It’s no problem at all. In fact, it’s kind of why I came down here in the first place,” Sloane said, laying Kenlee down in her bassinet.
Raising a confused eyebrow, I asked, “Really? You came down here to change my baby’s diaper? Why?”
“I worded that wrong,” Sloane said, laughing. “Actually, the whole point of my visit was to make you an offer.
“What kind of offer?”
“Harry and I were talking and we thought it might be a good idea if you let us keep Kenlee for the night so you can get some sleep. In fact, we are willing to take her one night a week to help you out, that is, if you will let us. We know you are doing your best and we just want to help,” she said softly.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to take her up on her offer. But I couldn’t do it. Ever since Sarah died, I have been too scared to let Kenlee out of my sight. In my heart, I knew she would be fine with Harry and Sloane, but I couldn’t get my mind to agree. “I really appreciate the offer Sloane, and maybe someday I’ll take you up on it, but right now, I’m just not ready. I wish I was, but I’m not.”
Before I could go into more explanation, Sloane put her hand on mine and interrupted me. “Zane, it’s ok. We understand. Harry and I love you both and we just want to be here for you. Just remember that we are here for anything you need, so please don’t hesitate to ask.”
I wanted to lighten the mood and hold back the tears that were threatening to flood, so I half-jokingly said, “Well, I wouldn’t mind a daily shower. Think you could fit that in your schedule?”
I expected her to laugh me off, but I should have known better. That wasn’t who Sloane Sutton was. “Of course, consider it done,” she said smiling. Sloane put an extra bottle of formula in the fridge for later, gathered the rest of her things, and turned back to me before leaving. She looked lovingly at Kenlee and me and said, “Don’t try to be a hero, Zane. Let us help you however we can. You know they say it takes a village? Don’t be too proud to let Harry and I be part of your village, okay?”
I once again fought back tears and kissed Sloane on the cheek.
“Sloane, you and Harryaremy village. We’d be lost without you guys,” I told her.
Sloane smiled softly and headed back to her suite. I closed the door and sighed, and before I knew it, the tears I had worked so hard to hold back were spilling down my face. I slumped to the floor and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.
“Damn it, Sarah! Why did you have to leave?” I said through my sobs. “ I don’t know how to do this without you, and I don’t want to. We were supposed to do this together!”
I cried into the silence for nearly half an hour, then finally managed to pull myself together and go check on my daughter. She was sleeping like an angel, and I figured she must be pretty exhausted too. My stomach growled, and I realized I needed to eat something. Somethingreal.I went into the kitchen in search of a meal with some nutritional value, and through some divine miracle, the carton of eggs in my fridge had not expired. Nor had the bread in my pantry molded. I placed two slices in the toaster and scrambled what was left of the eggs. It wasn’t a gourmet dinner by any means, but it was the best I could do. It was also a welcomed change of pace from all the pepperoni and sausage.
After I was clean, fed, and all cried out, I sat down and turned on the television. There wasn’t much on that interested me, but the background noise was a nice distraction. I was finally settled on watching a baseball game when my phone started ringing. I thought about letting it go to voicemail, but I knew once I saw it was my old friend Chase who was calling, I knew that would be pointless. He would just keep calling until I picked up, and the noise would have woken my sleeping baby, which was the last thing I wanted. I answered the phone as cheerfully as I could; trying to disguise the fact that I’d been crying for the last hour.
“Hey, Man, what’s up?” I said, bringing the phone up to my ear.
“Not much, Dude,” Chase said, and I can tell right away that he’d been drinking. “I was
calling to see if you felt like getting wasted and watching the soccer game tonight. It’s gonna’ be awesome!”
If I was being honest, there was nothing that sounded better than getting drunk and forgetting about everything for a few hours. I knew I would regret it in the morning, but the idea of escaping my life, even for just one night, was very appealing. I thought about calling Sloane and taking her up on her offer to keep Kenlee for the night, but then immediately pushed that idea aside. What kind of father would that make me? I couldn’t ask my friends, who were already doing so much to help me out, to take my six-month-old daughter for the night so that I could get drunk and watch a soccer game. I wasn’t twenty-one anymore, and I had real responsibilities. Not to mention, the anxiety I would feel from leaving her would be too overwhelming.
“Thanks, Chase, but I can’t. It sounds like a blast, but I just got Kenlee to sleep, well, Sloane did. Either way, I’m just not comfortable leaving her yet. I appreciate the offer, Man. Maybe next time.”
“It’s okay, Dude, I get it. You know how to find me if you change your mind,” he said, yelling over the sounds of a crowded bar.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Have a good time and be safe,” I said and then hung up the phone. It was getting late, so I decided to call it a night and try to get even just a few minutes of shut-eye. Before heading to bed, I walked over to the crib and bent down to kiss my sleeping siren. She made a little cooing noise in her sleep, and I smiled down at her, knowing right then that I’d made the right choice.
Staying in with her was better than any drunken night out.
Chapter Two
Katya
“Luca,holdstill,please.Mommy needs to brush your hair for school,” I said, trying to get my four-year-old ready for the day. I needed to hurry things along since my shift started soon and I hadn’t even brushed my own hair yet. He fidgeted in my arms, nearly knocking over his glass of orange juice that had been sitting precariously on the edge of the table. I pushed the cup farther away from him and said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t get anything on my work uniform like he had the day before. Trying to scrape grape jelly out of my white shirt was why I had been late to work yesterday, and I really didn’t want to have to make that excuse to my boss two days in a row.
“Okay, Mommy. I’ll be good,” Luca said with that smile of his that never failed to melt my heart. That little boy was my world, and I didn’t know what I did to deserve him, but I was eternally grateful.
“Thank you, sweetie,” I kissed his head. After I finally managed to get us both dressed and looking presentable, I went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Only instead of finding my breakfast waiting for me, I found Aleks, my boyfriend, sitting at the table eating it like I had made it for him. I pushed aside my anger and made Luca a bowl of cereal. I could handle working without eating, but I’d be damned if I sent my baby to school hungry.
“Luca, sit down and eat your Cheerios. You don’t want to be hungry at school, do you?” I said sweetly.
I poured myself another cup of coffee and turned to talk to Aleks, but he was already
