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“Addie, you don’t know the half of it,” I told her as I kissed her cheek and gave Luca a hug goodbye.
Addie and Luca left, and I turned my attention back onto the baby. I had to be at work in less than fifteen minutes, which meant I needed to figure out what to do with this little bundle of joy as soon as possible. I ran through a few different options in my mind, but quickly realized that the only logical way to handle this situation was to go knocking on Zane’s door and just hope that he wasn’t too hungover to see the humor in all this.
“You want to go see your daddy?” I asked in a sing-songy voice, as we headed towards the door. I reached for the handle and opened the door all while staring into Kenlee’s big beautiful eyes. That’s why I didn’t notice Zane right away, and nearly ran straight into him on my way out.
“Oh, sorry!” I said with a laugh. “Good, you’re up. I was just—”
If looks could kill, there wouldn’t have been enough left of me for a funeral. Zane was looking at me with such fury in his eyes, that I stopped mid-sentence and stared back at him with disbelief. He snatched Kenlee from me before I could process what was happening.
“Wait, Zane—”
“Save it. Not a word. I don’t want to hear a damn thing you have to say. You are unbelievable. I cannot believe you took my daughter without permission. From now on, stay the hell away from my daughter and me,” he growled before storming off down the hall.
Shocked, I walked back into the room and collapsed on the floor. Even if I wanted to, I could not have controlled the sea of tears that fell from my eyes. I sat on the floor and sobbed. I couldn’t breathe. I could not even begin to process what just happened. I did not understand his reaction and behavior.
Was he really angry at me for taking Kenlee without his permission or was he angry at himself for sleeping with me? Or was it both?I honestly didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. All I knew for sure was that I was the definition of bad luck. No, better yet, I was the epitome of three strikes and you’re out.
I was a 21-year-old single mom who had only ever slept with three men, and all three had broken my heart. But for some reason, this one hurt the most. It hurt in places I didn't know existed. I thought we had a connection and last night seemed to solidify it. I knew it had only been a few days, but I felt so close to him and I thought he felt the same.
I guess I was wrong. I often was, or so Aleks used to say. Thinking about what a fool I’d been made it worse as I sat on the floor and allowed myself to cry until no tears were left. Then I got to my feet, washed my face, looked in the mirror, and made myself a vow. No man would ever make me cry again.
I left the room and prepared to finish my shift. Staying busy always helped and I knew that if I didn’t, the tears would fall again and I refused to go back on my own vow.
Katya Belinsky did not break promises. Even when I felt like falling apart.
Chapter Nineteen
Zane
IwasfumingasI carried Kenlee back to the suite. I was pretty sure that I looked like one of those cartoon characters that has steam coming out of their ears. But once I had a moment to calm down, if you could call it that, I wasn’t sure who I was the angriest at, Katya or myself?
When I woke up this morning to an empty bed and suite, I panicked. I soon realized that Katya probably had to work and needed to get Luca back to his own room, but when I discovered Kenlee was gone as well, I freaked out.
I saw red and completely lost my mind. I felt like I was reliving the nightmare of losing Sarah all over again. If I’d been able to think clearly, I probably would’ve come to the conclusion that Kenlee was safe and sound with Katya, just a few doors down the hall. That was the most logical explanation after all, and I should’ve operated under that assumption as I went to go knock on her door, but instead, all I could think about was the fact that Kenlee was gone and Katya was to blame. My mind was dividing everything up into black and white categories. My baby wasgone, andKatyawas to blame.
This caused the panic to twist itself up into righteous indignation, and by the time I
reached her door, I had somehow convinced myself that this woman was actually trying to kidnap my daughter. The idea of losing my precious baby engulfed my rational thinking and I became enraged. One second, I was calm like Dr. Bruce Banner, and in the blink of an eye, I became his alter ego. Instead of opening the door to Dr. Banner, Katya was on the receiving end of ‘The Incredible Hulk’. I’m not proud of that and there was not a doubt in my mind that I scared her to death.
I was no better than Aleks.
Damn, I am such a fucking asshole.
I just rescued her from an abusive situation only to turn around and treat her like trash.
What was wrong with me?
If I had given her a chance to explain, she probably would’ve had a good reason for taking Kenlee. But then again… wasn’t it a general rule among parents that you just don’t take someone else’s kid without permission? I realized I was still new to all of this, but that just seemed like common sense.
The more I thought about it, the more the events of that morning started to form in my mind. She had to leave early for work and I was dead to the world. I didn’t hear her get up or leave. By that time, Kenlee was probably wide awake, hungry, and needing to be changed. I could tell when I brought Kenlee back to my room, that Katya had changed and fed her, and that made me feel even worse for blowing up on her like that. She had been thinking of my daughter’s welfare.
I had gone offagainon the kindest woman I had ever met, next to Sarah, when all she’d done was put her own needs aside and thought only of my daughter’s best interest.
Yes, she should have left a note, but that did not excuse my actions. I did not just overreact, I took that overreaction to the highest level it could go. I was a 15 on a scale of 10. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but once again I found myself needing to make this right.
I waited a couple hours before heading out to find Katya. It gave me more time to calm down, and I figured she could use the time as well. I even tried to write out an apology but nothing sounded right. I wasn’t even sure what to say to make this okay. I guessed I would just have to wing it and hope for the best.
I finally found her sitting in the employee lounge next to the fireplace. I stared at her beauty for a moment in awe. She didn’t look sad. Instead, she looked defeated. Defeated but determined, in a way. In the span of 72 hours, this beautiful young woman had been put through the wringer and unfortunately, I was responsible for that twice. I was the headliner in this horror story and that had to stop.
