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“Well, I am glad I can be of service,” she said, smiling as I grabbed my keys and a hat for Kenlee.
“Okay, then I will leave you to it,” I said, walking out the door.
The walk around the town and ski village was invigorating. I didn’t realize how much I was taking the fresh mountain air for granted. Breathing in the cool crisp breeze and hearing the sounds of children playing in the nearby parks warmed my heart. It was too bad I couldn’t seem to truly enjoy the happiness that surrounded me. I couldn’t shake the anger that came with knowing that Sarah and I should've been one of the happy families enjoying this sunny afternoon with our baby. It wasn’t fair and I wasn’t sure I would ever understand why this happened. I didn’t deserve it. Sarah didn’t deserve it, and Kenlee definitely didn’t deserve it, but wondering why wasn’t getting me anywhere so I decided to head back to the room. It was getting close to Kenlee’s afternoon nap time, and I could use a couple of hours of rest myself.
As I entered the room, I almost thought I walked into the wrong one. It looked—well it looked amazing. Katya had outdone herself. There was not an inch that had not been cleaned, dusted, and vacuumed, and I was eternally grateful. She even did the laundry.
“Wow,” I said, walking around and taking it all in. “This is unbelievable.” She came out of the sparkly clean bathroom with a rag over her shoulder and smiled at me. I smiled back and opened my mouth to say thank you for all her hard work when I saw it.
Sarah’s shirt. Her favorite shirt.
The one she wore at least once a week. It was a running joke between us that she loved that shirt more than she loved me. Of all the items in the room, she had to wash Sarah’s shirt. The one I haven’t been able to bring myself to wash for the last five months because it still smelled like her. It was vague at this point but I could still detect, or maybe I just imagined I could, the subtle hints of her floral perfume. That was until now. Anger began to boil over and I exploded on Katya. Instead of thanking her for all her work, I annihilated her for what she had done.
“How dare you do my laundry without asking! You had no right! Do you know what you have done?” I grabbed the shirt off the neatly stacked pile of shirts and waved it around in the air. “It was all I had left of her and you’ve ruined it!” I screamed while holding back my tears. “Are you stupid or just completely oblivious? I can’t believe you did this! Get out of my sight! I can’t stand to look at you!”
Visibly confused, Katya began crying and then stammering, “I’m sorry Mr. Grey. I mean Zane. I didn’t know. You never said not to do the laundry. I was just trying to help,” she continued to cry as she quickly gathered her things and hurried to the door. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry.” Her accent became a lot thicker the more she stumbled through her emotional apology, to the point where I was pretty sure she started speaking a completely different language on her way out the door.
Once she was gone, I seethed for a while, but soon I began to calm down and collect myself. I realized what a colossal fool, no dumbass, I’d been. I was still furious, but I was no longer sure if I was mad at her or myself. It suddenly occurred to me that she didn’t know what she’d done. How was she supposed to know it was my dead wife’s t-shirt and that it was off-limits? She couldn’t and she honestly thought she was helping me by doing the laundry.
This was all my fault. I hadn’t put the shirt in a safe place where it wouldn’t be included with a normal load. I also knew Harry well enough to know he hadn’t told her the details of how I became a single father. Harry respected my privacy too much to have done that.
The incident had been unintentional but what could I do about it now? I yelled at her, made her cry, and sent her running out of here faster than a downhill skier at the Olympics. Man, I was a complete asshole. I would make it up to her if I could, but as angry as I was and after the horrible things I said, I was afraid I may have caused irreversible damage. And the fact still remained that the last meager memory I had of Sarah’s scent was gone. For some reason, I didn’t think Katya would tell Harry about what happened, but my guilt got the best of me, so I picked up the phone and dialed his number.
“Hey Man, what’s up,” Harry asked cheerfully. “Did Katya make it by your room yet? I hope you didn’t mind. I just thought you could use the help. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”
“Yes, she came by already,” I told him. “In fact, that’s what I’m calling you about.”
“Uh oh, I don’t like the sound of that. Look I am sorry if you weren’t ready but I am just trying to help you out. Katya is usually one of my best employees and she’s a single mom so she gets it. But I can tell by the tone of your voice that this isn’t a good call. What happened?” he asked.
“No, sending her was fine, Harry. I appreciate it. I even got out of the room for a few hours and took Kenlee on a walk,” I explained.
“Well, that sounds positive, so what happened to make you sound like she stole The Hope Diamond?” he wanted to know.
Letting out a deep breath, I dove right into the story. “So, I had an old shirt of Sarah’s; actually it was her favorite shirt. I haven’t been able to bring myself to wash it because it still smelled like her, at least it did for a while. Anyway, my dumbass didn’t have it put up somewhere safe and well...”
“Let me guess. Katya washed it and you blew up at her?” he said matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, unfortunately. Look, Harry, I don’t know her very well obviously, and I doubt she will say anything to you, so please don’t mention it. But I need to make this up to her. I was really ugly and out of line. If I was her, I would never want to see me again.” I shook my head, mentally reliving the moment I screamed and sent her packing. “Even though she won’t know it’s from me. Is there a way you can add something extra to her paycheck? It will at least make me feel a little better and ease my guilty conscience.”
“Sure. I can do that. Just let me know how much. I already told her I’d pay her extra for cleaning up your tornado of a room, so I’ll just add this on as well and say it was all a token for her hard work. I think she’ll buy that story, plus I know she can really use the money,” Harry told me.
“Thanks, Man. I would apologize to her if I could, but I seriously doubt she’d want to hear it. I wouldn’t. I know you’re busy but if you can, could you try and check on her? I don’t know where she went, but she was understandably a crying mess. I just want to make sure she is okay. I was such a jerk.”
“No need to say more,” Harry said as only a friend can. “We all handle stress differently. Send me the amount you want me to give her as a “bonus” and I will take care of it. In the meantime, I will go check the employee break room and see if she’s in there. I won’t say a word or let on that I know what happened, I promise,” he assured me.
“Thanks, H. I am really sorry about all of this. I don’t know what came over me. I went into a blind rage thinking that my last tie to Sarah was gone. I know that sounds ridiculous considering Kenlee is her spitting image, but that’s what happened. I would take it back if I could, but I can’t.”
“I get it, but Zane, can you do me one favor?” Harry asked, laughing a little under his breath. “Sure. You name it.”
“Can you try not to send my maids running down the hall in tears in the future? It’s kind of bad for business.”
Leave it to Harry to make me feel better. I smirked. “You got it. Now, go check on Katya for me. I want to at least know she’s okay.”
“I’m on my way,” he said as we hung up the phone.
I sat down next to Kenlee’s bassinet and once again wondered how my life ended up like this.
Chapter Four
