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Katya
Crying,Isatinthe breakroom trying to figure out what just happened. I obviously crossed some line by doing Zane’s laundry, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what that line was. I thought he’d be happy to come home to clean clothes and linens. I knew when Luca was a baby, I would have loved to have someone do the mounds of never-ending laundry that seemed to go along with having an infant. Whatever I did must have really been bad because no one had spoken to me like that in years. Maybe ever. His words were so ugly and hurtful, for a moment I felt like I was back in Russia. Not wanting to relive that period in my life, I tried to focus on getting myself together. I couldn’t do my afternoon and evening rounds with a tear-streaked face, but I couldn’t get the tears to stop. It was as if Zane opened my floodgates and now, they wouldn’t shut off. I was still crying when Harry, of all people, walked in.
With a concerned look, he pulled up a chair to sit next to me. Fighting the urge to run out of the room, I managed to say, “Hello, Harry.”
He looked at me sympathetically and asked, “Katya, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”
Not wanting to tell him his friend is the rudest, most unhinged man I’d ever met, I tried to diffuse his concern by saying, “Oh, I am fine, Harry. I just got emotional after seeing Mr. Grey’s baby. It reminded me of Luca and how fast he is growing up. It seems like yesterday he was that small.”
It wasn’t the truth and I hated lying to my boss, but he seemed to buy it, so it would have to do. I didn’t want him to know what a jerk his friend was.
“Oh, that’s understandable,” Harry said, nodding his head. “I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I hope to one day, and I am sure time will fly by much too quickly when I do.”
I smiled through what was left of my tears, looked at him, and said, “Yes, it will. So cherish every second of every day. Even the bad ones because they all add up to the beautiful painting that is parenthood.”
“Wow,” Harry said, dumbfounded. “That was beautiful. I never thought of it that way.”
I shrugged and went back to looking at my hands. “I have my moments of introspection.”
He smirked. “I’ll say. Now, are you going to be okay? Would you like me to get someone to cover the rest of your shift?”
I shook my head. “No, that won’t be necessary. I just needed a moment to gather myself. Please, do not worry about me. I will be okay.” I smiled to show him I was on the mend then pulled out my compact and began to touch up my face. Luckily, I did not wear mascara today, so I didn’t have streaks running down my face. That would have been even more humiliating.
“Okay – “He eyed me suspiciously. “If you say so then I have to trust you. You are part of the family here at the lodge, so just know, you can always come to me if you have anything you need to talk about.”
“Thank you, Harry. I appreciate that very much.”
“No problem. You know where to find me if you need me.” He was looking at me like I was a long-lost puppy, and I wanted to make sure he had nothing to worry about so I got up and said I was going to get back to work.
Zane Grey might have ruined most of my lunch break, but I would be damned if I’d let him ruin the rest of my day.
###
The rest of my shift went by without incident and I finally headed home a little before 8 pm. When I walked through the door, Luca was playing silently in the living room while Aleks was passed out on the couch, again.
Hmph, some babysitter he is!
Alek’s drinking was becoming a problem and I didn’t know what to do. I was stuck. More than anything, I wanted to pack up my stuff, grab Luca, and leave. But, where would I go? This was Alek’s home and although I did okay at the lodge, I didn’t have enough money to move out. Especially since Aleks takes everything I have left after making sure Luca is taken care of each month.
Luca was curled up on the floor half-asleep but wasn’t quite there yet. I walked over to my angel and scooped him into my arms to carry him to bed.
I laid him down and pulled the covers up over his shoulders. I bent over to kiss his head and said, “Good night, my love. May you have the sweetest dreams.”
I then tiptoed out of his room and sighed as I carried my wary body to the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower as hot as I could stand it. It has been one hell of a day and my muscles were begging for a warm massage. I stood under the stream and couldn’t stop my thoughts from traveling back to Russia. I thought of my family, and wondered whether or not I should contact them. It was an appealing idea, but I knew I couldn’t risk it. If I wanted to hang onto my son, I would have to just keep my head down and stay with Aleks, even if he was a controlling, alcoholic piece of shit.
My family wouldn’t be able to help me, even if I asked them to. They might have welcomed me and Luca with open arms at first, but that would only be short-lived. Eventually, they would return to their domineering and militant ways, and likely try to take my son away from me. I knew they would.
I pushed all remaining thoughts of going back home out of my head and turned off the water, and hoped that Aleks would still be passed out when I went back to the living room.
No such luck.
As I was drying off in the bathroom, he came through the door and smiled at me. I knew that smile. It was charming, and part of what drew me to him in the first place. It was a smile that could only mean one thing.
“I see you are up from your nap,” I said.
Walking toward me like I was dinner for a starving man, he slowly said, “Yes, I am and now I am ready for you.”
Despite Alek’s many faults, I had always found him attractive. He was a terrible partner in almost every way, but the one place he actually managed to make me feel good was the bedroom.
