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“It’s been years,” Libby sniffed. “I mean, I don’t cry about it all the time, but like, I have these nightmares that keep coming back, and just when I think I’m not going to have them anymore, I do again. I don’t know if it’s ever going to stop.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Erin told her. “Sometimes when you worry about something happening like that, your brain makes a note that it’s important, and it comes back even if you don’t want it to. There are some things you have to let happen, then let go without giving them too much time. The more you do this, the easier it’s going to be for it to happen, and your brain isn’t going to freak out when it does.”
“I guess so,” Libby said with a sigh. “I don’t know. It hurts.”
“I know it does, but like I said, it’s okay to cry it out, and you never have to worry about being alone. I’m going to be here, and your dad is going to be here. There’s not going to be anything that takes him or me away from you, okay? I know it doesn’t take away from any of the pain you’re feeling right now, but when you have that to fall back on and remember, then it’s not as terrible when you’re dealing with the pain in the moment.”
“I’ll try to remember that,” Libby said. “You promise you’re not leaving?”
“I’m right here,” Erin said. “And I don’t care what happens; you’re always going to be able to reach me and talk to me any time you want. I don’t care what time it is or what I’m doing, I’ll make the time for you.”
Libby said something else, but I wasn’t close enough to the door to be able to make out what she was saying. My heart stung with emotion after hearing all that Libby had to say to Erin. I knew they were close, but I didn’t know they were close enough for Libby to confide in Erin the way she just did.
At the same time, I did wonder what Erin had to say to Libby that was too low for me to pick up. I felt she was basically telling Libby that she wasn’t going to be leaving at the end of my book after all, but when Libby asked her if she would be around forever, it sounded to me like she was just saying that she would forever be available for Libby no matter where she went in her life.
And that made another pain run through my chest. The fact of the matter was that I was thinking about Erin staying here. I was thinking about us. Dating. Being together. The three of us being a family together. All the things I wanted with Erin that would make her stay here with the two of us.
But it had just been tonight that we had gotten to the point of truly committing to the relationship and to each other when Libby needed Erin to head to her room. I still wanted to talk to Erin and figure out where she stood with us now and if she truly was ready to commit to this.
I was sure now she saw where I stood, and with the way she had been so passionate about the sex we had, I felt that she saw things the same way I did. It wasn’t going to be easy for us to date per se, but I was confident in being able to make things work between us. As long as we had each other and were willing to put in the work, we could get through anything.
I leaned forward slightly, peeking into the room and seeing how things were going with Libby. It seemed she had finally fallen asleep in Erin’s arms, and from what I could tell, Erin was also falling asleep in bed with Libby.
There wasn’t any need for me any longer, so I padded my way across the floor and back to my own room, collapsing into bed with a sigh. It had been an emotionally charged night, from what I had done with Erin to what I overheard between her and Libby. It left a lot for me to think about, that was for sure, and it wasn’t clear to me where to start.
But, for the first time in a long time, I was too exhausted to lay awake and dwell on it.
I had taken a massive step in the right direction, and I felt confident in how things were going with Erin. I didn’t want to take on too much right now, and I knew I had to slow down. I had to figure out a lot of different angles in this relationship, and I knew some of those things had to be done soon.
I cared a lot about how Libby would feel about this, and I knew I had to talk to Rob about it at some point, too. I just had to make sure we were ready for that to happen before I went through with it. And that included having Erin ready for this, too. I knew she was on board to take on the challenge, but did that mean she was ready to go public with it to her father?
And then there was Libby.
There were so many thoughts running through my mind I had to shove everything out of my head just to focus on getting some sleep.
I could deal with this more in the morning.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Erin
Ifeltontopof the world the entire next week. I enjoyed carving out a couple of hours in my day to hang out with Neils. He worked on his book as much as he could, except he was happy to take an hour or two off to spend with me while Libby was still at school.
We knew it was the only time we had when we didn’t have any chance of being caught. Libby wouldn’t be coming home from school unannounced, and there wasn’t anyone else in Key West who would do that. It gave us the time to really get to know each other. To really talk and enjoy each other – and all the sex on top of it.
Although, it did become harder during the time Libby was around.
I had to remind myself not to flirt in front of her, and to be really careful about the things I said when she was around. I didn’t want her to catch on to anything that I was doing with Neils before he was ready to talk to her about it officially. Not being a mother myself, I didn’t know when the right time would be for us to bring it up.
I trusted him with that one.
But that didn’t do anything to the time I had with Libby. I had promised her to take her out shopping again, so the next Saturday morning, that’s what we did.
“Are you coming with us this time?” Libby asked her dad.
“Not this time unless you really want me to,” he said. “I do need to move forward with the project I’m working on.”
“You don’t have to,” she said quickly. “I think Erin and I will have fun if we have a girl’s day out.”
