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‘I just got back last night.’
‘How was the mission?’ She crossed her arms over her chest, remembering suddenly what she was wearing. Surely there were people out there who managed luckily to look amazing when their errant one-night stands knocked on their doors unexpectedly.Sadly, you’re not one of them, she thought to herself. Carrie didn’t think she could have looked worse. The only saving grace was, she supposed, that she was wearing shorts and had just shaved her legs the day before, chiefly because her leg hairs had been so long that she thought she might be nearing the stage where she could weave them into permanent socks.
‘Successful. It wasn’t a mission – I was training people, remember?’ Rory smiled a little.
Carrie felt herself softening at his smile. It always had the same effect on her. She frowned, and looked away. She wasn’t happy with him for ignoring her all this time, and no amount of sexy smiling on his part was going to help that. ‘Good,’ she said, shortly. There was a silence, and she raised an eyebrow at him. ‘So?’
The thunder rumbled again, louder, and lightning flashed, lighting up the now-bare trees at the edge of the loch.
‘It’s going to hammer it down in a minute. Can I come in?’ he asked, looking cautiously at the sky.
‘No. You’ll be all right where you are.’ She gave him a level stare.You could have come in if you’d sent me some messages, she thought.Tough.
‘Oh. Umm. Yeah. Well, I wanted to let you know I’m planning to reopen the restaurant from this Friday. I just need a couple of days to get up and running again. So I wanted to see if you were happy to come back, or…?’ He trailed off, looking unsure.
‘That’s what you came to ask me?’ Carrie was irritated. ‘At the very least, you could start with an apology.’
‘What do I need to apologise for?’ Rory looked guarded. ‘You knew I was going to be away. I paid you what we agreed.’
‘Pay? Youpaidme?’ Carrie raised her voice. ‘That’s not what I mean, and you know it!’ She felt herself getting really angry now. How could Rory be so tone-deaf about this? Surely he knew what she was talking about.
‘Carrie. We had an amazing night together. But you knew I was leaving the next day,’ he repeated. ‘What else did you want me to do? I didn’t plan for us to sleep together, but it happened, and it was… amazing. I thought you were cool about it.’
‘I was… I amcoolabout it,’ Carrie spat, realising that she sounded the opposite of cool about anything just then, and hating herself a little for sounding as harsh as she did. But she had a right to be annoyed. ‘What I’m not cool about is you completely ignoring me for two months afterwards. It would have been basic politeness to check in every now and again and say hi, and if you didn’t want to see me again, then it would have been polite to say that too.’
It started raining. Big, fat drops that hit Rory’s head and his coat with hard splashes.
‘Oh.’ Rory looked chagrined. ‘Shit. I’m so sorry, Carrie. I thought that I would be able to stay in touch a bit, but when I got to the place we were based, there was no WiFi, no signal, nothing. All telecoms were useless. It’s how it is, sometimes.’
‘And you didn’t know that ahead of time? I feel like you would have been told that in some kind of… briefing.’ She waved her hands in the air, impatiently.
‘Well, yes, I did know that it might be possible. It was all very quick, like I told you. They gave me the outline of what they wanted me to do, and often this kind of work means you’ll be pretty incommunicado. But I hoped I’d get some opportunity to keep in touch. But when I got there, I found out they’d upped the security level of the training. Telecoms blackout.’
‘I fail to believe that you couldn’t have sent me just the shortest of texts. You might have been dead for all I knew.’
‘Carrie. I would have if I could, I promise.’ Rory stepped forward and reached for her hand. The rain intensified, and water started running down his face. He wiped it out of his eye.
She pulled her hand away, and an expression of pain settled into his eyes.
‘No. You really hurt me,’ she said. ‘I… I don’t sleep around. What we did was… it was special to me. And then you just totally ignored me. Do you know how that feels?’
‘I’m sorry. I do know. Or, I know what it’s like to feel betrayed and lost. I’m sorry,’ he repeated, his brow furrowing. ‘I didn’t want to do that to you. Believe me, if I could have stayed in touch, I would have. That night was special to me too.’
‘It didn’t feel it was,’ Carrie shot back. ‘I… you really hurt me, Rory,’ she repeated, not knowing what else to say. ‘So, I’m not sure if I can come back to the restaurant. It would be weird.’
‘Carrie, please. I don’t want you to stop working with me. I need you there.’ Rory looked supremely uncomfortable. ‘Look, can I come in and talk? It’s kind of… exposed, out here.’
Carrie looked up and down the pathway that led past Gretchen’s cottage and along Queen’s Point. It was deserted, though she could see Angus duck into his front door to get out of the rain. ‘There’s nobody here,’ she said. ‘You can say whatever you’ve got to say to me where you are.’ She put her hands on her hips, deliberately misunderstanding what he meant. ‘Give me one good reason why I should come back to the restaurant, apart from the fact I need the money. But you know what? I can get another job. I don’t need…’ she waved one hand towards him, ‘… all this complication.’
‘Okay. Fine.’ Rory took in a deep breath and let it out again. ‘If you don’t want to work at the restaurant anymore, I understand. I can find someone to replace you, not that they’ll be as good, probably. Or anyone that I’ll enjoy having around as much as I do you,’ he added, pushing his now-sodden hair out of his eyes. ‘But, listen. I want to explain.’
‘Explain, then. Not that I can see there’s much to say. We slept together and you ignored me. For whatever reason.’ Carrie still wished she wasn’t wearing a T-shirt that said I LOVE BEAR HUGS; she peeled off her rubber gloves and dropped them to one side of the door. Those, at least, she could take off.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t contact you at all, after that night. I’m not lying about the comms blackout; I mean, when I got to where I was going, there was literally nothing. Other than send a carrier pigeon, I was stuck. And as soon as I realised that, I regretted not at least sending you a text when I was at the airport. Because I did care about what happened. It was incredibly special to me.’ Rory sighed and continued. ‘I was stupid. After you left, that morning, I was… I didn’t know what to think. Making love to you made me feel vulnerable again. And I panicked, because the last time I let myself be open to someone, she broke my heart. And I swore I’d never put myself in that situation again.’
Unexpectedly, Rory began to cry.
Carrie’s eyes widened in surprise: this, she hadn’t expected. ‘Oh. Rory, I…’ She stepped over the threshold of the door. Awkwardly, she touched his face. ‘Don’t cry.’
