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I won’t forget aboutLucy.
I won’t try to replaceher.
But I will let myself moveon.
Chapter Forty
Willow
It’s beena month since we lost thebaby.
A long and gruesomemonth.
There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t gone over the things I should’ve done differently to stop the miscarriage from happening. I’ve read article after article and talked to Aidan about it at everyappointment.
So, I’ve been doing everything I can to take it easy, attempting to stay on bed rest, like the doctor suggested, but I’m going stir-crazy.
The uncertainty of another miscarriage has been the only thing on mymind.
Dallas hasn’t brought up his offer for me to move in with him. I don’t know if it’s been retracted or if he’s scared of therejection.
Stella insisted I do most of my work from home, and when I do visit her on set, she practically caters to me like I’m her boss. Lauren stops by before every shift. Rory and my mom regularly check in with me, and Dallas and Maven are here nearly everyday.
Lauren is right. Having a good support systemhelps.
I sit on the couch and stare at the doorway to the nursery. Something I do every day. I haven’t been back in it since I lost the baby. Dallas keeps asking if he can put the crib together or start painting, but I can’t bring myself to sayyes.
It’s not that I don’t want this baby to have a nicenursery.
It’s that I’m terrified I might lose this baby,too.
The front door opens, and Maven comes running into the living room. Dallas is behind her with a bag oftakeout.
Her smile beams when it lands on me. “Can I ask her now, Daddy? Can Ipleeeaseask her now? I can’t wait anylonger!”
I tried to stop it, Dallas mouths tome.
She plops down next to me on the couch, and I play with herhair.
“Ask mewhat?”
“Um …” She opens her mouth but chickens out and slams itshut.
Well, that’snew.
She whips around to look at Dallas. “Will you do it for me, Daddy? You say it muchbetter.”
He slowly nods, and I know what he’s about to ask isn’t going to be easy onme.
“Maven will be starting kindergarten soon. Tomorrow is Parents’Night.”
“Will you please come with me?” Maven chimes in. Her spunk is back. “Pretty, pretty please? It’ll beso, somuch fun. They’ll have snacks, and you get to meet my teacher! I’m going to big-kidschool!”
I don’t know if Maven told him she’d asked me to be her new mommy, but he hasn’t mentioned it. And I don’t plan to tell him. That’s a secret between the two ofus.
Dallas leans back against the wall and fights a smile on his lips. “There was no way I was going to stop her from asking you. You know she doesn’t take no for an answer very well. Plus, I could use thecompany.”
“Please,” Maven continues to plead. “Everyone else is going to have their mommythere.”
