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An unfamiliar wave of fear passes over his face, and he grips the edge of the table to stand up. “There’s something you should know.”
“Yeah?”
“Lauren left you because of me.” There’s no hesitation in his answer. He was preparing himself for this confession.
I take a step back. “What did you say?”
“I’m the reason she broke up with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You …” He pauses, his voice wavering. “You loved her more than life itself. When she enrolled in school hours away, I knew you’d follow her.” His eyes water while he runs his hand down the back of his neck. “I was mourning your mother and terrified of being alone.”
“Pa, what did you do?”
Remain calm.
My heart wants to explode from my chest, unleashing all the anger from me. My father's being involved in ruining my love life wasn’t the answer I’d been searching for.
His hands shake as he grabs his mug and takes a drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing before he sets it back down. “I couldn’t lose you, so I went to the diner during one of her shifts and begged her not to let you leave me. I pleaded that she wouldn’t take you away.”
“You asked her to break up with me?”
Say no. Tell me I heard you wrong.
“She refused, and then I explained my reasoning. She cried and was angry that she had to break someone’s heart. Either yours or mine. We went back and forth until I told her I couldn’t live without you. That’s when she promised she wouldn’t take you away from me.”
“You asked her to leave to make yourself happy?” I slam my hand against my chest. “What about my happiness, huh? You saw what a mess I was after she left.” I’m using all my self-control to reel in my anger. “For years, you’ve seen me broken over her, and now, you’re telling me this? You’ve had years to do it!”
He experienced the pain of losing my mom. Why would he want me to go through that same hell?
Guilt and hurt are etched along the wrinkles on his face. “I’ve wanted to tell you for years, but I was so angry with myself. Not only did you leave town and me, but you also lost her for my selfishness.”
Don’t snap. Keep it together. This is your dad.
“Lauren made me promise to never tell you what I asked of her,” he adds. “She’s been keeping this secret, so you and I wouldn’t lose our relationship. Don’t blame her for allowing me to have the only person I have left in this world.”
I hold my hand up to stop him from continuing. “I can’t do this right now, or I’ll end up saying something I’ve never wanted to say to my father. I have to go.”
“Are you going to her?”
“I don’t know. I need to get out of here.”
He nods, and there’s a cold silence as I walk out the door, slamming it shut behind me. I stomp to my truck, kicking gravel, and swing the door open. I sit on the edge of the seat, my feet still outside, and allow my head to fall between my legs, hoping it helps ease the tension running up my neck.
I’m conflicted on whom to be angry with.
She left because he’d asked her to.
She broke my heart, so my father’s would stay whole.
Do I hate her or love her for that?
My phone rings, and I debate on answering it. I lift my head and lean back before grabbing the phone from my pocket.
My stomach drops when I see the name flashing on the screen. His check-up calls aren’t made until the evening when he’s off shift. That means, when I hit the Accept button, my life might fall apart.
“Not a good time, man,” I answer.
