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I brace myself to get this over with and start talking.
“Can you tell me what happened earlier?”
She eyes me as she takes another drink, and her hand is trembling as she sets the bottle down. She doesn’t say anything for a long time, turning instead to throw the bath towel in a hamper I hadn’t noticed and turning a page over on her desk calendar.
When she finally speaks, she sounds exhausted.
“Pastor Fryer started talking about what a wonderful man my dad was, and I just…lost it…”
She doesn’t say anything else, and I clear my throat.
“I’m sorry…I haven’t fully taken into consideration how hard it must be for you to be here without him.”
Maybe mostly because, as far as I know, she went eight years without seeing him. But clearly, she’s struggling.
“No, it’s all the memories I have herewithhim that make it hard,” she says. “When I left, I hoped and prayed I’d never have to see the man again.”
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
TELL ME LIES
SOFIE
The look on his face shifts from empathy to shock to confusion in a matter of seconds.
“What? Did something happen between the two of you before you left? He never told me that—”
My laugh is bitter, and I turn away from Theo, not wanting him to see me this way. But it’s too late for that. I already had a meltdown in town and don’t even know how I got home, but Theo was here when I snapped out of it…so I think he’s already seen plenty.
“Let me guess. He made it sound like he was devastated that I’d left and like he begged me to stay.”
Theo’s quiet for a moment and I turn to look at him. His brows are furrowed, his face stormy.
“What am I missing here, Sofie?” His voice is raspy and low, and it only makes my resolve weaken all the more.
I don’t know why I’m still keeping these secrets. Maybe only for my well-being and because part of me is still trying to protect Theo’s feelings, but both are hanging by a thread right now anyway.
“I don’t even know where to begin, Theo,” I say.
“How about you start from the beginning,” he says.
I make a sound that snags between a laugh and a cry, and I take a deep breath, shaking my head. My expression must scare him because he stalks toward me and stops within a foot of me, his eyes haunted.
“Seeing you cry still destroys me.” His hand swipes through his hair, leaving it going in every direction. “But I need to know the truth. You owe me that much. And maybe if I get some answers, I can finally be free of this. Free of you.”
That hurts more than anything else that’s happened today.
I turn away from him again, wiping my cheeks as the tears fall in a steady stream.
He moves until he’s in front of me and reaches out to wipe a new tear that falls.
“I never wanted you to know,” I whisper.
He looks pained, his jaw and shoulders tight with tension.
“Know what?” he whispers.
“That my dad used to beat me.”
