AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“But that last year before I left…it changed. It’s like he was angry all the time. He was still in the fourth row on the right side at church every service. I kept hoping he’d give himself away, that his public persona would slip just once…just enough for everyone to see a glimpse of who he really was, but it never happened.”
“There was a stretch when you were busy every afternoon and you’d sneak in my room after everyone had gone to bed,” he says.
“I knew you’d see the bruises if we had sex during the day.”
“I wish I had.” His voice cracks and he puts his fist up to his mouth. “God, Sof. We could have helped you. Granddad would’ve done anything for you, and he would’ve believed you…we could’ve gotten you out of there.”
“You don’t know that. I thought about it many times, but by then, I was so conditioned to hide the truth. And I couldn’t take a chance on him hurting someone else worse if I told…”
“Is that why—” He takes a deep breath and wipes his face. “What happened the night you left?”
I open my mouth and close it, the scenes flashing through my mind in fast forward and then slowing down to see the gruesome end. I shake my head.
Standing, I put my hands around my waist, trying to hold myself together.
“I can’t talk about the night I left. I’m-I don’t…I’m not ready.”
I shake my head and he stands, his tall, muscular frame hovering over me. He reaches out and touches my face, his expression more sorrowful than I’ve ever seen it.
“Thank you for telling me,” he says. “And you don’t have to talk about that night unless you want to…whenever youareready. I’ve thought I needed to figure out a way to forgive you so I could move on, but I’m the one who owes you the world’s biggest apology. I…thought I knew you better than anyone. I’m so sorry I didn’t see what was going on.”
“You knew my heart.” The lump in my throat almost prevents me from saying my next words, but I manage to get them out. “And that was the most important part. No matter how much I lied to you and tried to keep you from seeing the truth, you were my safe place.”
He bows his head, looking completely broken.
“I can’t ever make it up to you, how epically I failed you, but I swear to you, I’ll do my best to make sure you feel safe from this day on. I can stay on the property if that helps you sleep at night. You won’t even have to see me if you don’t want to. If the house has bad memories for you, I’ll tear it down. Whatever it takes…you just say the word.”
I laugh, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “If Aunt Hilary and Abby wouldn’t wonder what the hell happened to the house when they come to visit, I’d take you up on tearing it down.”
“Who cares what they think? It’s not their house.”
I rub my hand along my arm, warming up to the idea. “I wouldn’t mind getting rid of all his things and yeah, just starting over on the house.”
He looks ready to bound over to the house to get started right now, but he sees my expression and pauses.
“What?” he asks.
“I’d planned on going my whole life without telling you all I did tonight…but I’m really glad I did.”
He’s quiet for a few beats. “Thank you for trusting me with it.”
I never imagined feeling peaceful on this night ever again, but when he puts his arms around me and hugs me, something inside of me calms and I feel like I just might be okay.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
THE RIGHT DIRECTION
THEO
I can’t bring myself to leave Sofie.
I have a dog door for Fred to go out, and he’s not usually bothered by fireworks, so I know he’ll be okay.
We sit in her office for a long time, me leaning on the desk and her sitting with her knees to her chest on her cot. It feels like old times with us talking about everything and nothing. Except in the past, one of us would’ve been touching the other somehow, whether it was our pinkies touching or her head on my shoulder…there was rarely a time we weren’t in contact.
I haven’t wrapped my head around all she’s told me. I don’t really know how to even begin to process it.
More than anything, I’m horrified that she’s suffered this alone and for such a long time. Knowing the agony she was going through and how helpless she must have felt…it’s like a nightmare I can’t wake up from, and to imagine that it’s what she’s felt from the time she was a child.
