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What was worse than his physical reaction to her was the part of him that wanted to know what made her tick. The part that wanted to blow off this session with the guys, sit down next to her, and ask her about herself. Ask her what her hopes and dreams were. Find out the joys and sorrows that had shaped her life.
He needed to resist both urges.
“Zac!” The voice emanating from his phone jerked his mind back.
Cassie cocked her head and raised her brows at him. Damn, he was still staring at her.
Zac shifted his attention to his phone. “Sorry, just running through some ideas for chord changes in my head,” he lied smoothly.
Devon eyed him skeptically, and Zac wondered how long they’d been trying to get his attention. Normally he was the hyper-focused one, having to pull their attention back from whatever shiny object had distracted them back in LA.
He rolled his shoulders. He needed to get his head back in the game and off Cassie. Getting this album finished was his priority. He’d do what he could to get Cassie out of this mess with her reputation as intact as possible, but that was it. Crossfire was at the top of his priority list right now. He wouldn’t let them down because of a woman.
Even one as distracting as Cassie.
ChapterEighteen
Cassie carefully tightened the tuning peg, running her finger along the string to test the tension. Footsteps alerted her to a presence, and she turned with a smile. A part of her was hoping it might be Zac coming to talk to her again, like he had the morning after her first night on their bus. A weight settled on her chest when she found Bryan watching her instead. His eyes were dark, his face almost as unreadable as Zac’s normally was.
She looked back at the bass, a strange numbness settling around her. She wasn’t angry, and even the searing pain seeing him had evoked in her a few days ago was nothing but a dull ache.
“Is it true?” His voice was rough.
“Is what true?”
“You and Zac. You’re together? That didn’t take long.”
She whipped around to glare at him. “Excuse me? It took a hell of a lot longer than it took you, considering we were still together when you shopped around for a better option.”
A muscle in his jaw pulsed. “How many times do I have to say that I’m sorry? I love you. Only you. I…” He let out a frustrated breath and rubbed both hands over his face. “I don’t even know why I did it. It wasn’t cold feet or anything. I wanted to marry you. Iwantto marry you. I…” He shook his head and looked at her with a helpless expression.
“It doesn’t matter how many times you say it, Bryan. It doesn’t make it go away. Sorry doesn’t erase the betrayal. Telling me you love me doesn’t make it hurt less.”
“So, you still care about me then? You wouldn’t say it hurt if you didn’t still care. If you’re with Zac just to get back at me, I get it. Okay? I don’t like it, but I get it. But if you still love me, then when you’re over this… this thing, you and I can try again, right?”
Cassie let herself really look at him. Like probing a sore tooth, she let herself remember all the good times, made herself think about everything he’d meant to her over the last ten years. Could she get past the hurt? Could she put the anger behind her? Would she ever be able to look at him the same? Thisthing, this fake thing, between her and Zac, wouldn’t do what Bryan thought it would do. It wasn’t about evening the score, bringing their relationship back in balance. It was nothing. A favor Zac was doing for her. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that, but the words wouldn’t come. If she told him, he wouldn’t let it go. He’d keep pushing her to try again with him.
I don’t want to be with Bryan anymore.
The thought scared her. It shouldn’t, but it did. A few short weeks ago, the idea of not being with Bryan was inconceivable. It had been her and him for so many years. The last time she’d known what it was like to feel truly alone was when she was fourteen. She’d thought she would never have to feel that way again. Was she really prepared to face it at the end of this tour?
Cassie suddenly recalled the words of advice Maggie had given her that first night on Fractured’s bus:It’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t appreciate your true worth.
Her chest cinched tight, her hands clenching around the bass she was holding.
“What about you and Stella?” Her voice came out more evenly than she expected.
He grimaced, obviously not wanting to talk about it. But Cassie just sat there looking at him, waiting for his answer. She needed to know.
He cleared his throat. “She says she wants to keep things going between us. Nothing serious, just a—a physical relationship. But if you’re willing to try again, I’ll tell her nothing else can happen between us.”
“Nothing else? You mean nothing else except for that one time I caught you two?”
His slight hesitation was telling. Guilt pulled down the corners of his mouth. If she’d thought she was beyond being hurt, she’d been wrong. Barbed fingers clutched at her heart.
Bryan blew out a harsh breath. “After the other night at the club. You and Zac. I was in a crazy headspace. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but with the alcohol, seeing you kissing him. It didn’t mean anything. I promise. I—”
“So, all this time, you’ve been telling me what a mistake it was. That you love me and want me back. That it was a one-off and would never happen again. Were those lies?”
