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“Heasked me ifIwas only saying that becauseIliked her myself, andIswore to himIwasn’t, thatIwas only looking out for their best interests.Insteadof being a good fucking friend and telling him to go for it,Isuggested we should make a pact that neither of us would touch her.Thatshe was off-limits for both of us.”
“Whathappened after that?”
“Aweek later, he was dating a cheerleader, and he never brought it up again.”
Micksquints at me. “Doesn’tsound like it was too serious, then.”
Ishake my head. “Youdon’t knowBeau.Hedoesn’t lie.Andif he makes a promise, he sticks to it.So, if he made that pact with me, he’d have abided by it, even if he still had more than friendly feelings forShae.Evenif he still does.”
“Andlet me guess.You’vegone and broken the pact?”
Inod, feeling ridiculous.Wewere kids.Kidsmake a lot of stupid promises.Butit hadn’t felt stupid to me at the time.Ithad felt… necessary.LikeIwas protecting myself from losing somethingIcouldn’t live without.Iknew, even asIwas talkingBeauout of declaring his feelings, thatIwas being selfish.Thatit wasn’t about them at all.Itwas about me not wanting to get left behind when they inevitably went off together.Iwas just as self-centered asMom.
Maybeselfishness is genetic.
“Beaudoesn’t know?”Mickasks.
“No, andIcan’t tell him.”
Hiseyes pierce through me, unreadable. “Isit serious, between you andShae?”
Ihesitate, andIdon’t know why.Becauseit’snotserious.Whathappened between us was a mistake.Atwo-time thing that shouldn’t have even been a one-time thing.Andwe agreed that it can’t continue.
Ishake my head.
Aheavy line forms betweenMick’sbrows. “It’sstrange that you’d do something you obviously feel guilty about for a bit of casual fun.Areyou sure you don’t have feelings for the girl too?”
Aball of lead forms in my chest.Onemade up of guilt and something else.SomethingIdon’t want to think too hard about. “Beauwould—”Istart.
Mickcuts me off. “Ifyou were to askBeau, and he said he wasn’t interested inShaeanymore, would you want more with her?”
“It’snot that simple,”Isay.
“Isn’tit?”
Igrit my teeth. “No.”
“Whythe hell not?”
“BecauseifShaefinds outItalkedBeauout of dating her back then, she might never forgive me.”
Mick’sbrow furrows. “Why?”
Ilet out a harsh breath as the memory comes back to me.Waitingfor her in her room one afternoon, flicking through one of her old notebooks that she’d left on her desk becauseIloved looking at the little drawings she did, seeing something no one was ever meant to see. “Becauseshe was in love with him back then too.”
Mick’seyebrows jump up at my confession.
Iswallow hard.Yeah, that’s right.That’sthe kind of personIam.
Someonewho screws over both of his best friends at the same time.
ChapterFourteen
Shae
I’mstandingin front of two rock stars in the most exquisite dressI’veever worn, wondering how this can possibly be my life.
“See?Iknew you’d outshine every other woman tonight,”Beausays, giving me a thorough once-over. “Youlook as hot as hell.”
