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LikethatDevonloved me.
ButIhaven’t heard anything from him sinceIleftLA.Noteven a message to check thatImade it home safely.Ithurts, the pain in my heart striking at random intervals and making me want to curl up in a ball and cry.
It’sas if life dangled the most incredible possibility over my head, then snatched it away at the last second.I’mdoing my best to gather the tattered shreds of my heart and my life around me, but it’s hard whenIcan’t stop thinking aboutDevon.Whetherhe andBeauhave gotten over their argument now thatI’vegone, whether it’s serious withIsabelle…
Theknock on my door thankfully distracts me from my thoughts becauseIdon’t want to start crying again.
WhenIanswer it, my smile is genuine, even though it trembles at the corners.
“Dad,”Isay and fall into his arms.It’sthe first timeI’veseen him sinceIgot back.Icame home early, and he was out of town on a fishing trip.
“Sweetheart.”Whenhe wraps his strong arms around me, it’s too much.Iburst into tears.
Heushers me to my small couch and sits next to me, smoothing my hair away from my damp face. “Tellme what happened.”
Justsmelling his familiar scent and leaning against his broad chest makes me cry harder.Hewraps an arm around me again and holds me until my sobs turn to sniffles.
WhenIpull back, his eyes are full of understanding. “Whichone was it?”
Heknows.
Isniffle and wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand. “Devon.”
“Hmm.Ialways thought it would be him.”
Mysurprise temporarily dries my tears. “Youdid?”
Hegives me a sympathetic smile. “Therewas no hiding the way you two looked at each other.”
“He’snever looked at me that way before.”
“Yes, he has.Butonly when he didn’t think anyone was watching.”
He’strying to make me feel better. “Thanks,Dad.”Igive his hand a squeeze. “ButIdon’t think it’s what you thought.”
“Butsomething happened when you were staying with them?”
Anothersob breaks free, and thenIspill the whole story.Well, everything except for the stuff he definitely doesn’t want to hear.
“Aw, honey,”Dadsays.Thenhe heaves out a sigh. “Ihave no idea what’s going on betweenDevonandBeau, butIknow one thing—both of those boys love you.Theywouldn’t hurt you like this on purpose.AndI’dguess right now, they’re probably in as much pain as you are.Iknow that’s not an easy thing to hear, and believe me, it pisses me off that they’re the ones who put these tears in your eyes.”Hewipes under my eye with a thumb. “I’vealways trusted them with you.Butlet things settle, and when you’re ready, listen to what they have to say.EspeciallyDevon.Then, if he doesn’t make it right, give me a call, andI’llhave a serious word with him.Hemay be a young, strapping rock star.ButI’vebeen working out, andI’mno slouch now.”Heflexes his bicep and grins.
Ican’t help but laugh through my sadness, because that’s what he wants, and because just having him here makes me feel a little better.
Halfan hour and a cup of coffee later, we say goodbye.He’sactually going on a date tonight with a woman he met at the gardening store just before he went on his fishing trip.I’mso pleased for him, and at the same time, kind of taken aback that my absence hasn’t bothered him at all.Notthat he hasn’t missed me, but it certainly hasn’t held him back from living his life.Afew weeks ago, that would have given me hope about the possibility of moving toLA.Nowit only highlights whatI’velost.
Icheck the time, then quickly put my new uniform on and head to the diner.OnceI’mthere,Itie my apron around my waist and get to work, pushing thoughts ofLAandDevonandBeauaway.Noone wants their waitress sobbing into their food.
Sixhours later,I’memotionally and physically exhausted.I’malso sweaty andIsmell like grease.
Inthe parking lot of my small apartment building,Isit, fingers curled tightly around the steering wheel and my eyes closed whileItake a few deep breaths.Beingback here, starting another jobIdon’t want, makes me long forLAand the belief thatIcould have more.ButhereIam, right back whereIstarted.No,Ihave less than before.BecauseIdon’t haveDevonandBeauanymore.
Ipeel my fingers off the wheel, heave my tired body out, and make my way toward my front door.
Alarge shape unfolds from the shadows, andIjump back, preparing to scream.Thenhe steps into the light, and my heart rate takes off.
“Shae,” he says.
Ittakes me a second to find my voice. “Whatare you doing here,Devon?”
