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“You are welcome here anytime, Vaile.”
He turned to face the temple when his eyes filled with tears. “I’m still working on forgiving myself.”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “As am I, son.”
After he left,I walked to the hillside where two significant things had happened in my life. First, it was where I stood with my Rosa on the day we met and I promised that, eventually, the land beneath our feet would be our home.
Second was when I took Jaicon to the same place and we’d watched the sunset. I’d told her, then, I felt as though she could use some magic. Instead, as I thought back on it, I was the one who had needed it.
I’d gone too many years without it in my life, and from the first moment I met Jaicon, I knew she’d brought it back to me. Now, it was gone again, and in its wake, I was left unsettled. Even after Rosa was diagnosed, throughout her cancer battle, and after her passing, I did not feel as lost as I had since Jaicon left for California nineteen days ago.
I couldn’t explain why, but I somehow sensed Jaicon was feeling much the same way.
The question, then, was, why weren’t we together? Why had she ended things between us?
I repeated the question in my head that I’d cried out loud the other day.What am I not seeing, Rosa?
18
JAICON
“Have I told you lately how annoyed I am with you for accepting Merrigan fucking ‘Fatale’ Shaw-Butler’s offer to head up one of K19’s units?” O said. “And, my God, is her name long enough now?”
“I don’t think she typically includes ‘fucking’ when introducing herself. She probably doesn’t use Fatale much anymore, either.”
“I am not a fan.”
I smiled. “You never have been, and that’s because she terrifies you.”
O made a noise that sounded like “harrumph,” which I took as an admission that, yes, Fatale was probably the only person on earth Oleander feared.
“We could use you over here, by the way. Wouldn’t a UN coalition fall under the heading of ‘Allied Intelligence’?”
“I’ve already spoken with Merrigan about it.”
“Oh. What prompted that conversation?”
“I’m not sure. Perhaps it was because everyone in Shere is sick of hearing you bitch about my not being there. By the way, I’m leaving for London this afternoon.”
“Gatwick is closer.”
Given I was born in the UK and had lived there the majority of my life, I was well aware of regional airports. “I’m stopping by the flat before coming to Shere.”
“Copy that,” she grumbled. “Just hurry your arse up. Poseidon is a bloody bear over this fucking auction and our inability to track the IP’s origin.”
The flightto London was miserable due to the storms raging over the North Atlantic Ocean. I couldn’t help but draw a connection to the wrath of Poseidon.
I hadn’t realized how much I missed my flat until I set foot in it. Edmund and I had purchased it for an ungodly sum shortly after we were married. With three bedrooms, it was far too large for one person, but then, it had never been intended for me to reside in alone.
One of the bedrooms had been set up as an office we shared. Another, originally slated as a nursery, remained empty. Four walls, painted a neutral color. A blank canvas, we’d said. I hadn’t been there, hadn’t even opened the door, since the accident, and I had no intention of doing so now. It was hard enough walking into the bedroom Edmund and I had shared. Perhaps it was time to put the flat on the market. I doubted I’d ever live in London again. While I hadn’t decided where the headquarters of K19 Allied Intelligence would be, I could say it would definitively not be here.
The only things truly difficult to give up were the spectacular river views from the twentieth floor. That, I’d miss. Not that I thought about it much when I wasn’t in residence.
I made myself a mental note to contact an agent about listing it, then took one more look around. Yes, listing it was the right decision. This was whereEdmund and Ihad lived, and while it was too soon for me to let go of him entirely—maybe I’d never be able to—selling the flat would definitely be a step in the right direction.
“I cannot tellyou how happy I am to see you. Finally, someone I don’t have to explain every bloody thing to,” said Oleander when we cheek-kissed.
The list of former agents and operatives who made up the five coalition task forces was beyond impressive. I’d even heard Wren Whittaker and her husband, Wilder, were consulting. Wilder was a former MI5 agent who had been in the running for chief of MI6 after Merrigan turned the position down. When Wilder declined, Z was appointed.
