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To prove my point, I waggled my brows at the kid, and she squealed, then reached for me, looking delighted. It was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Then I leaned in closer and tickled her cute little belly, and just like that, her happy squeal turned into a full-body laugh. Amazing. And damn if I wasn’t proud as hell for having caused it. By the time I looked over at Charlotte again, she was smiling too.
After a deep breath, she said, “Fine. You can watch her. But you need to promise you’ll call me if you need anything at all, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, hiding my eye roll by kissing Savannah’s soft cheek. “We got this, don’t worry. Now finish getting dressed and get out of here. You’ll be late.”
I was feeling pretty good about everything as I gave Savannah a bottle, then changed her diaper before settling in to watch some morning TV while burping her. It couldn’t be that hard, right? Feed her, change her, entertain her when needed, put her down for naps. Piece of cake. I’d faced down snipers and terrorists and dictators. I could handle one tiny baby girl.
Except it seemed like the minute Charlotte walked out the door, Savannah started getting fussy. And no matter what I did, she wouldn’t stop whining and crying and just generally being unhappy. Even my trademark eyebrow waggle and tickle didn’t help. In fact, it felt like everything I tried only made it worse. I started to worry that maybe she was sick but when I pressed my fingers to her forehead I realized that she felt fine. So what was the problem? And what the hell had I been thinking, telling Charlotte that I could handle everything? My confidence dwindled. Okay. Maybe this wasn’t the best choice after all.
I stood and carried the baby around the house, rubbing her back. No. I wasn’t a quitter, especially where my own child was concerned. We’d get through this. I just needed to figure it out. The moving seemed to help a little, as Savannah became distracted by the passing scenery. All right, then. If walking around the house was good, getting outside in the fresh air would be even better, right? So, a walk it was.
I remembered Charlotte mentioning something about Savannah liking being in her stroller. That was good. I got us both ready to go, and we headed out of the house and into the sunshine. Savannah gave a happy squeal as I put her into her stroller. Good. Good. Back on solid ground. Things were improving. My spirits lifted.
As we walked down the block, I pointed stuff out to Savannah, talking to her like she understood every word I was saying. A short distance from the house was part of the Appalachian Trail that led down to the Shenandoah River. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm for autumn, so we went for it.
The gurgle of water joined the chorus of songbirds in the air, and I inhaled deeply, catching the scent of leaves and moss and decaying wood. Sunlight, filtered through the leaves above, dappled the path. A memory flashed through my head: walking down here with my mom, when I was a kid. I’d forgotten this was her favorite walking path.
How the hell could I forget something like that? Man. My family had been gone ten years, and already the memories were slipping away from me. Stuff like the sound of my dad’s voice, or my mom’s laugh, or how my brother would always fold his candy wrappers into little squares before flicking them at me across the table.
God, I missed them all so much. I’d forgotten how much until I’d come back here.
I sighed and stared out at the river just beyond the trail. It hurt, being back here, in a weird and wonderful way that threatened to pull me under as fast as any rip current in that rushing water before me. That’s probably why I’d avoided coming home for so long.
Nothing to do about it now, though. I glanced down at the baby again.
Well, at least Savannah seemed to love it all, quieting right down and just staring up, wide-eyed, at everything from her stroller, occasionally gurgling at something or chewing on her fingers. Several people stopped to talk to her and smile at me. She was adorable, no doubt about it. I felt a swell of fatherly pride. It was hard to believe that less than a week ago I didn’t even know she existed. Now, I couldn’t imagine life without her.
We continued on down the trail, passing people and looking at the scenery. After about an hour or so, we stopped along the riverbank and I took a seat on an empty bench. I gazed down at Savannah, thinking about my mom and how much she would’ve loved her granddaughter. About how she would’ve brought her here for walks too. My chest squeezed with the sweetness and sorrow of it all.
Determined not to get caught up in that grief again, I stood and smiled down at the baby. “Come on, darlin’. Time to get you home for a nap, eh?”
* * *
My day at the bar passed in a blur, between getting things ready to open, then the busy lunch shift, and then the meeting with the franchisers. I kept checking my phone, thinking Gabe would call sooner or later with some issue with Savannah, but he never did. In fact, I was starting to worry about it, but then things got busy again and I never got around to checking on them.
He handled huge, top-secret missions. He could handle a baby.
Of course he could.
Couldn’t he?
As I sat in the dreadfully boring franchise meeting, I couldn’t help thinking about how things had changed over the past week. I’d loved Alexis. I missed her so much it felt like a part of my soul was gone. Having Gabe and Savannah around helped, though. I saw so much of Alexis in her daughter. Saw more and more of Gabe in there too. He was growing on me, I had to admit. Funny, smart, kind, considerate. Even if he was a complete non-option in the happily-ever-after department.
I snorted to myself and rubbed the bridge of my nose. God, the meeting must be melting my brain for me to even go there. I straightened in my seat and tried to pay attention to the presentation the men in suits sitting around me had put together. So far, from what I could tell, they wanted to take my gorgeous, historic pub and turn it into one of those “neighborhood”-type chain restaurants with a bunch of local crap on the walls and servers running around in striped shirts and suspenders, hawking food and drinks with names like Shenandoah Sliders or Mountaintop Mud Pie.
I knew I should at least listen to what they had to say. It made smart business sense. Franchising the pub could certainly make me more money. But I loved the place and hated the idea of it not being mine, so…
Rather than get more anxious about the presentation, I turned my attention to the rest of the bar. It was well past the lunch rush now, but even so, there were still tables filled and food cooking on the grill. The low hum of chatter droned over the country tune, and the aroma of seasoned French fries wafted towards me, making my mouth water. God, I loved this place.
The meeting finally wrapped up a bit after four, and I managed to shake hands and play nice without letting on how much they’d wasted my time. Once they were out the door, I checked in with my evening staff, then headed home to see how Gabe and Savannah had fared. Despite the franchise plans falling through, I was feeling pretty much at peace with everything… until I rounded the corner on my block and saw a cop car in my driveway.
Oh shit.
I hurried toward my house, my mind racing. Okay. It was only one squad car. That was good, right? If something horrific had happened, there’d be more. So many more. The night they’d found Alexis, it felt like there’d been hundreds of emergency vehicles filling up the street and the yard and…
Fear trickled down my neck like ice water. By the time I reached the house, I was all but running, out of breath and sweaty and shaking. I parked near the curb and got out, racing to the porch where Gabe stood talking to a uniformed officer. Savannah was in his arms, looking whole and unhurt, thank God.
The minute I stepped onto the porch, Gabe turned and handed the baby to me. Savannah gurgled and grinned, reaching up with her drool-covered hands to pat my cheeks like she could sense I needed reassurance. Through numb lips, I asked, “What’s going on?”
