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She lifted her brow and I smiled. I opened both doors and crossed into the open great room.
The vaulted ceiling held several rotating fans and had a white pine finish. Muted colors of the Caribbean complemented the space. Overstuffed sofas and love seats, an open kitchen with marble countertops, and a dining room for four… tile floors and, of course, wall-to-wall windows that opened to the deck beyond. The ocean view and walk-out beach were nothing short of perfect.
James whistled as he walked into the space and opened the disappearing glass doors. The sound of the lapping sea filled the room. “I think it’s worth traveling across the world to see this sight.” He dropped the luggage he had insisted on carrying himself and stepped outside. His wife stepped outside with him and I stayed back and mulled over their impression of me. Have I won them over? They seemed easy-going and friendly enough but I was yet to tell them the reason I’d brought them to the island, if I did would they hate me for hurting their daughter? The thought brought a huge wave of nervousness.
They walked back in after a few minutes with shiny eyes and awed expressions. “This island view has surpassed my expectations, I was expecting something smaller but this… magnificent,” James said.
“Thank you, Mr. Adams. Your room is just by my left-hand side, I’ll allow you and your wife to settle in. In approximately fifteen minutes, you’ll be called up for your meal then we can have a conversation.”
“Oh, great. Been wondering when we’ll get to the talk part. Alright, thank you.” He said and I turned to walk towards the kitchen where I issued a series of instructions to the chef to reheat the meals in ten minutes and ring up our guests once it was time.
I retired to my den, practicing the words I wanted to say. I faltered a bit staring at my expression reflected on the large 64 inch smart tv that occupied the den. I felt nervous but it wasn’t reflected on my face, if you didn’t look closely. I tried to imagine their reaction to the news when I finally broke it to them and my hands shook slightly. I wouldn’t blame them if they formed an instant judgment of me, but I badly wanted them to see me for who I was.
Fifteen minutes later, we were all gathered at the dining table feasting on the array of dishes laid out before us. I had no appetite, but I had to eat for appearance's sake. My thoughts buzzed around like crazy in my head seeking an outlet. I forced the lamb puree the chef had prepared down my throat and it tasted like lead in my mouth. I do not doubt that the taste was exceptional as always, my taste buds were simply the ones that had a problem. I waited until they had finished their meal before saying what was on my mind.
In a few nerve racking minutes, I brought them up to date on everything that happened. Knowing I had not much time to waste, I told them my plan and the role they were to play in it.
There was a long silence where neither of them spoke. I grew more nervous, were they going to hate me?
“Do you love my daughter?” James asked staring at me with a penetrating stare. I almost shook with the force of that stare, but I summoned up courage and returned it resolutely staring at him with absolute conviction while I replied. “She is my life.”
My answer seemed to please him because he broke into a smile and shook my hand firmly, slapping me on the back. “Welcome to the family, we are with you all the way.” I was delighted, the ball had been set and everything put in place.
I couldn’t wait to see all my plans unfold.
CHAPTER 19
SOPHIE
Having Kaitlyn in Malibu turned out to be an unexpected blessing for me.
Our time together was a whirlwind of activities that left me breathless and exhausted at the end of the day. From the beach to the mall to check out the latest arrivals, we never ran out of activities to indulge in. In just a day that Kaitlyn arrived here, she had me going out more than I had in the two months I’d been in Malibu. It’s been wild, crazy, daring sometimes, but I’ve been enjoying every moment of it. Mostly I’ve been able to prevent myself from dwelling on the situation between Raymond and me, Kaitlyn made sure of that.
We visited the spa yesterday afternoon and while we had our legs waxed, she asked me tentatively, “Sophie, how have you been holding on?”
For a moment, I was tempted to lie. I didn’t want to get her worried unnecessarily, besides she had done so much for me these past few days. But I took one look at her eyes, and I knew I couldn’t lie about my feelings.
“I’m not fine, and I don’t know if I’m doing a pretty good job of hiding it. All of these activities, I do them because you’re here and not because my heart is in it. It’s hard Kaitlyn, it’s really hard.” I could feel my eyes welling up in tears again. I didn’t want to give in so I took a deep shuddering breath, then continued.
“Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like if we ended up together. How many kids we would have had, the kind of life we would have led. I can’t help but wonder about the kind of life he’s currently living now. I’m asking myself if what I felt was one-sided because I refuse to believe he would intentionally just walk out of Malibu like that without making an effort to reach me, but then I’m tired of thinking or wondering Kaitlyn. My head hurts, my heart hurts, every part of me aches but I get through each day knowing you are in the next room waiting to help me up if I fall apart again, and this thought comforts me. So to respond to your question Kaitlyn, I’m not holding up well.”
Kaitlyn cradled my face in her hands and said softly. “My sweet, sweet girl. It’s okay not to be fine. In fact, I’m not expecting you to be just yet, but you’re putting in the effort to be and that’s what makes me happy. You will be fine baby girl, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will be, and I’ll be here with you all the way. Don’t forget that.”
My eyes welled up in tears again and I nodded firmly determined not to let them drop. “I love you,” I mouthed, she responded by brushing her palms against my face and crushing me in a tight hug.
“Thursday afternoon, I have Phoebe, a stylist coming to the house.” She began with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
“But why?” I questioned in confusion.
“The charity ball, silly.” She squealed waving the tickets in front of my eyes.
“No way!” I stood abruptly, grabbing the tickets from her hand. The therapist looked at me sourly, and I apologized with a smile resuming my previous position.
“Is this the same event you told me about last week?”
Kaitlyn nodded eagerly.
“Social media has been blowing up with their campaign. I’ve been seeing their hashtags on Twitter since yesterday, even The Times magazine gave it a front page feature.”
