AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You okay?” Amanda asks, her brow furrowed. “That guy was a prick for hitting on you like that. Justin kicked him out. Things are slowing down if you wanna take off? I’m sure I can get Brandon to step in.”
“No, no, I’m fine. I’m good.”
Even for somebody like Rhys, this is low. The worst betrayal. Why wouldn’t he tell me? And how many people has he told? Maybe the whole fucking Lakes team has been watching me.
I did everything I could to protect my privacy. He could have found someone else to beat off to. Did he even masturbate to me? Or was he only getting off on debasing me? Building up to the moneyshot of my humiliation. And possibly damaging my reputation in ways I haven’t even grasped yet. Did he record me? My tattoos were showing when we were on camera. Should I worry about videos of me being leaked? This could affect Sugar & Ice and my chances for making a name for myself in this city.
He was a close friend.
Another sadness aches, I have to reckon with the hurt that someone who I trusted so much doesn’t even exist. I liked him, really liked him. That’s rare. It was pathetic to entertain the idea that I could find someone like him on a site likeFollowers. What did I think would happen with someone who literally paid money to see me waltz around my kitchen naked? Ever since Kyle died, I’ve been careful to not let anyone in. Untilhim. I didn’t mean to do it, but I let my guard down. The connection I felt wasn’t based on physical attraction. There was chemistry. It felt soreal. I’m mourning something that never existed.
It was never real.
I play back everything he’s ever said onFollowers. All the ways his words made me feel and the warmth they gave me are replaced with humiliation. I’ve never been more ashamed, but I refuse to cry over somebody like Rhys. Fuck him, he’s the one who lied.
The night passes in a blur as I take orders and fill them on autopilot. Amanda knows something’s up, but she probably suspects the other customer got to me. I place an order for a dozen soft pretzels and a vat of cheese sauce before the kitchen closes. I may not cry over him, but I sure as hell will be putting away some carbs tonight. Some people run when they’re hurting. I eat. And I’m no bitch when it comes to soft pretzels.
Once I clock out and step into my apartment, I go straight to the bathroom to scrub the makeup off my face and throw on an old flannel shirt, not even bothering to button it. Opening the first Styrofoam container of pretzels, steam rises from the white box and the smell of salty soft dough fills my nostrils.
I turn on my “Men Ain’t Shit”playlist and plow through each pretzel one by one. Nowthis, this is real. This is all I need. Chewy pretzels and cheese sauce, baby. There’s no way any man is better than this deliciousness.
Things are gonna be okay.
Today was hard, but I don’t have to go through it again. I can move on with my life like he never existed. Because he didn’t. There is no Hat Trick Swayze. But someday, I’ll find somebodylikethat person, and when I do, he’ll be real. He’ll treat me well. He won’t lie. And he’ll have a gigantic penis.
Keep your chin up.
Eventually, I’ll make more friends here. I have my regulars, and they like me. My coworkers. I have Birdie and Lonan and Audrey. I’ll learn from this and be safer with myFollowersaccount. Maybe I should consider myself lucky. He could have been a serial killer. Though, truthfully, I can’t decide whether I’d prefer a murderer to Rhys Kucera.
I don’t have to decide today.
I crack open another beer, and between my collection and the shots bought by a couple customers tonight, I’ve lost count. I rinse the beer down with another giant soft pretzel.
Rhys’s door slamming causes mine to rattle, so I creep over to the peephole.
There’s a note taped over it.Asshole.I open the door and focus my drunk vision on the scribbled words.
I’m sorry.
I’d still love to have a bread lesson sometime. Let me know when.
207-555-6767 (in case you deleted it).
–Hat Trick Swayze
Fat fucking chance.I rip off the note, wad it up, and chuck it at his door.
TEN
Pretty sure she’s blocked me based on the way my calls aren’t going through. One of the guys said she was throwing them back hard last night. She’s a bartender, so she probably has a decent tolerance. But either way, I need to see her. Even for a minute. At least make sure she’s okay.
I knock on her door. When she opens it, I’m tempted to laugh. She’s a mess. She’s wearing an oversized flannel with no pants, every button is mismatched by one or two holes, and there’s something hanging out of her pocket,is that a pretzel or a churro?I try hard to keep it together, she’s the most adorable trainwreck I’ve ever seen.Fuck, I miss this girl. It’s been less than twenty-four hours, but I miss her texts and the anticipation of her videos. What does that say about me?She’s the only woman who could look like this and smell like...cheese sauce?And I still want to fuck her brains out.
“Wild night?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
She starts to shut the door on me, but I shove my foot in the doorway.
“Too soon. You’re right, I’m sorry.”
