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Why is she asking me all these questions, does she—oh no. No... Anna wouldn’t sublease it. Would she?“You don’t think...”
She cringes and pulls up her shoulders. “She told me she’s been couch surfing, which probably means she’s staying with friends or crashing at other houses.”
She means drug dens.
“Shit.”God, Anna. Why can’t things ever be easy with you?
Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees and rake my fingers through my hair, I need to figure something out.
“Are you giving her any other money?”
“No, not really . . .” I’m so annoyed at her for taking advantage of me.Again.
“Not really?” she prods.
I don’t appreciate her tone. I’m doing the best I can.
“I gave her some money for groceries.” She said she wanted to make dinner. She used to love cooking. I was under the impression she was trying to get back to her old self.
“Do you want my advice?”
“No, but it sounds like I need it.”
If she’s telling me not to take care of the only family I have left, she’s wasting her time. Anna is my responsibility. She got into pills because of me. I’m all she has. There’s no one else looking out for her.
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and meets my gaze. “I’m going to tell you this from experience, you need to set some boundaries. For your sake and hers. You cannot give her money anymore. None.”
“What am I supposed to do? Let her starve and be homeless?”
“Okay, first rule of dealing with addicts is that you have zero control over her addiction or actions. That’s her baggage. If she’s homeless or hungry, that’s not on you. You set boundaries, if she breaks them, there are consequences. She’ll see it like you’re giving her an ultimatum and will likely try to use it against you, but you gotta stay firm.
“For example, she can come to your house, but she can’t bring drugs or friends that use drugs into your home. If she does, the consequence is that she’s no longer welcome. If she decides to play fuck around and find out with the police, you will not pay her bail or any of her legal fees. You rented her an apartment, she chose to sublease it and take the cash, so she no longer gets the money. If that’s indeed what’s happening, reach out to whoever’s living there and have them pay you directly. Get the idea? But the most important thing is that you follow through with the consequences or she’ll walk all over you.”
Jesus. She doesn’t know Anna, she won’t go along with any of that.
“Why do you know all this?
“Told you, I dated an addict.”
I lean back into the couch and groan, scrubbing my hands down my face.
“Why can’t she ever seem to get her shit together? I shouldn’t have to jump through so many hoops for her. I’ve made it so easy. Her only requirement is to stay clean.”
Freya looks at me, there’s sadness in her eyes. Like she’s ashamedforme. “I know, it sucks, but she’s not in the driver’s seat. Any money she gets is going straight up her nose.”
I narrow my eyes, it sounds so depraved when she says it that way. “Don’t say it like that.”
“Why? Does it make it sound too dirty? Addiction is ugly, Rhys. And you need to start questioning her motives—especially when things are going well. She’s going to break your trust over and over again. It’s exhausting. I’m sorry to throw all of this on you at once, but I don’t want you to sink like I did.” She stares off into space like she’s trudging up old memories. After blinking a few times, she takes a sip of her water and furrows her brow. “Has anyone in your family gone to a Nar-Anon meeting?”
What family?I take a sip of my bubbly lime sparkling water, and it fizzles on my tongue. “No, it’s just us.”
She purses her lips and nods toward the floor. “Shit, I’m sorry. That’s really hard, but it doesn’t need to fall solely on you... If you can get yourself to a meeting, it might help with some of the stress. Give you some support. Setting those limits is really, really important for your own mental health. It doesn’t mean youcan’thelp her, but you need to protect yourself too.”
Her logic makes sense, but one is easier said than done. I’m afraid if I push Anna too hard, she’ll leave for good. Growing up, our parents told us we were to watch out for each other when they were gone, so that’s what I’m trying to do.
“Your ex ever get better?”
“Nope.” She pops the P. There must be a story there because she turns and walks away after saying it. Maybe she’s still hung up on the guy. He’d be a dumbass to let go of a girl like her. Either way, it’s obvious she doesn’t want to talk about it.
