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I was loved once, and I’ll be loved again.
Those are my only thoughts as I sit idly in this pebbled driveway.
I will be loved.
Exhaling a shaky sigh, I point the rearview mirror toward me, running my fingers through my days’ old mess of hair. I’m ashamed to be seeing him again looking like this, knowing the last time I was in his arms, I was pretty and clean. “Well… nothing to do about it now.”
I straighten the blank white top across my chest, creating a little room between my breasts and the straining material so it’s easier to breathe when I step out of the car. Nothing I do can ease the tension in my spine as I take the first step toward the front door. I’m holding my breath, counting my strides, mentally preparing my words, when our eyes meet again. I think I got it, and then the door opens, sending my thoughts into the air along with the breath in my lungs.
“Your mom with you this time?”
Halting, I keep my eyes trained on the floor, steadying my racing heart before meeting his stare. I remember the first time I saw him, I thought he held the ocean in his eyes. I was mesmerized, enchanted by the hues shining in the sunlight. They sparkle the same now, dazzling me more so than they did the first time.
An eternity goes by before I find the words to respond. “She didn’t understand.” It's not a lie. She truly didn’t, but I don’t want the details to ruin this moment.
“Yeah.” He laughs, shaking his head at the floor. “She never did.” Pausing, my uncle looks me over, eyes lingering long enough to scorch me from the inside out. “So what do you want?”
I don’t need to think this time. It’s everything I’ve dreamed of since I lost it.
“What you gave me before.”
A grin takes over his face as his eyes darken into midnight. Stepping to the side, he holds the front door wide. “Remember what you call me?”
Nodding, I reply, “Yes, Pater.”
