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“—not about you not being attractive enough, more about you being the problem.”
God help me!
“I’m the problem? How am I the problem? I’m an eight. Or even a nine. Yes! I’m a sodding nine out of ten. I’m Daisy Reyes, for fuck’s sake! I’m funny. And I’m charming as hell. What’s not to love about me?”
“I think you’re smoking hot.” A woman at the table beside us leans over. “Has anyone ever told you, you look like that actress… what’s her name?”
“See? Even complete strangers think—” I turn to the gorgeous black woman and give her an awkward smile. “—I’m sorry, I’m not usually such an appalling bitch, I’m just having a terrible night. Hi, I’m Meg.”
“Camilla.”
We all grin at her very royal-wannabe name.
“It’s great to meet you Camilla and—,” I turn back to Courtney, “—see? Camilla thinks I’m smoking hot,andI look like Daisy Reyes,thankyouverymuch!”
Camilla taps her finger to her nose. “Right. The sexy red head in that movie with that guy that’d I’d go back to dick for.”
We all reply at once. “Rowan Grantley!”
“That’s the one!”
“Fine, Meg. I was wrong. You’re not the problem. You are, in fact, ridiculously hot and I amtotallyattracted to you. Are you happy now?”
“Not really.”
“Why ever not?” asks Camilla curiously.
“Mostly because I’m not a lesbian.”
We all crack up at Camilla as she moans loudly. “You’d be surprised how often this happens to me.”
“I’m really sorry.” And I am. Camilla is gorgeous. “I hope you meet your someone.”
“C’est la vie.” She shrugs and turns back to her friends who have been watching our exchange with interest.
“Seriously though, how am I the problem?”
“Where do I even start?” She barely holds back a snort as she proceeds to analyse me. “You struggle to realize your worth. You spend half your life wondering whether people are lying to you when they tell you you’re beautiful and the other half of your life wondering what others see in you. There’s always—"
“I don’t do any of those things!”
“Let me finish.” She nods knowingly. “There’s always a ‘but’ with you.”
“A butt?”
“A big, fat ‘but’… one ‘t’.” Courtney sighs. “You avoid attachment because you assume everyone is going to end up leaving you so you search for something wrong with the guy so you can find that ‘but’—”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“For example, Philippe was really great, but—”
“Philippe? He whistled when we had sex.” I scowl around the table. “It was weird.”
“My turn, my turn!” Nate laughs loudly. “Cameron was really great—”
Courtney and Brynn add, “Buuutttt?”
“Cameron Bright? I have no proof, but I think he may have been a vampire.” Now my friends are just taking pot-shots at me. “He never went outside in the sun!”
