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Jada looks over at me with this picturesque smile, and I can feel my lip tug upwards as she and I make eye contact. She really is something special, and whether we’re going to be fake married or not, I do want her to enjoy our time together.
She deserves it, after all, not just because she’s helping me. But because she’s genuinely a remarkable person.
We stay for an hour at the Cyrus household before we make our way to my mom’s. She doesn’t even make it a minute before she begins to cry, holding onto Jada’s face. “Welcome to the family, darling.”
Mom might still be pale and has definitely lost more weight, but the news of our engagement brings her eyes and heart back to life.
I’m glad she’ll get to see us get married, even if it’s not real.
18
JADA
Carter is at work today, but I decided I want to spend some time with Honey. She asked if I wanted to come over so we could talk about wedding stuff, and I said yes, of course.
Even though we’re going to be getting married at the resort with a wedding planner, we still chat about the simple stuff.
“Do you have a favorite flower you’d want to have throughout the area?” Honey asks as we pour over some wedding magazines. “I think you’d look beautiful with red roses surrounding the two of you.”
“Red roses sound nice, and very classy. Those would look amazing,” I agree. “I think purple roses mixed in would also draw a lot of attention to the two of us as well.”
Honey clasps her hands together. “Oh, that’s a wonderful idea, Jada. Red and purple together contrast beautifully.”
I smile, loving that Honey is enjoying the planning of our fake wedding. We go through the magazines pointing out different things we like about each picture we find, and writing down ideas that we’d love to try incorporating into our wedding.
“Oh, what about the dessert? Should there be a cake or a full table of desserts anyone can choose from?” I ask.
“You should absolutely have a cake, darling.” Honey gazes into my eyes. “A cake is a sacred tradition. Even if you don’t serve it to your guests, you and Carter deserve to cut the cake together.”
“And then shove his face into the frosting for sure,” I tease.
“Absolutely. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
I snort out a laugh, and we turn the page. “Then we’ll do a table of different desserts, including the cake, and then have someone cut up some cake slices for the guests who want a slice of our finger-tasting cake.”
“The only correct flavor to enjoy on someone’s wedding day,” Honey nods.
I glance over at Honey as she keeps looking through the magazines. I don’t like thinking about how this might be one of the last thing’s Carter’s mom does, but even when she’s happy and enjoying herself talking about weddings, I can’t help worrying about her. Every time we do dinner together, I notice Honey gets worse and worse. She’s good at hiding it if we’re only around for an hour, but today is different.
I’ve been with her all morning, and already two different nurses have come in for her home care. Nothing crazy, just checking vitals and giving her medications, but I can see how hard she strains in the presence of everyone. She wants to still look as strong and as independent as she possibly can.
“Oh Jada, look at this dress,” Honey cries, bringing me back to the reality around me. Honey points to a dress that is a mermaid style, and the neckline is exquisite. We stare at it in awe, and it’s the first time I realize I haven’t even gotten a dress yet.
“I’ll have to send you pictures when I pick out my dress,” I tell her. “I hadn’t even thought about that part, which is crazy, right?”
Honey overlaps my hand with hers. “It’s not crazy. You two are getting married, and sometimes things aren’t as important to you as you once believed. I know you’ll be able to find a wedding dress you’re in love with before the big day.” She smiles at me. “And you must send pictures when you find your dress. I want to be able to see what my future daughter-in-law will be wearing as she walks down the aisle.”
The words hit me harder than I ever anticipated they would. I knew it would be said eventually, but Honey calling me a member of the family brings tears to the back of my eyes, and I have to blink ferociously to hold them back so she doesn’t see.
We look at a couple of different dresses in silence, and I find myself growing not only more excited for this wedding, but nervous as well. In just a short time, I’m going to be someone’s wife, someone’sperson. Even if it’s all fake to make other people happy, it’s still something huge.
I’ve always seen marriage as a big deal. When I was young, I was always terrified by the idea of getting divorced because kids I grew up with had divorced parents. It worried me. I watched my friends struggle with school or trying to understand why things had changed. I may not be in elementary school anymore, but deep down, a part of me is still that same worried kid.
Fake marriage or not, the idea of a divorce is petrifying. I don’t think Carter would understand, and either way, I’m not going to be sharing these feelings with him.
Honey and I eat lunch together a little while later, just some simple sandwiches, and she tells me she’s still trying to decide what she should wear. She’s the mother of the groom after all, and she wants to look good as well.
She explains some of the options she has in mind. But once I clear the plates to the sink, Honey is struggling to stand up, saying she needs to get to the bathroom quickly. I help her and as soon as she closes the door, I hear her getting sick.
